Love More By Caring Less. Huh?

love-233a

I love my friends they are my rocks in life.  We lean on each other in times of trouble and in times of laughter so much to the point where we offer each other advice on everything.  It doesn’t always mean we take the advice from each other but it is very comforting knowing we’re all in this together with big open hearts and love.

Friends often give each other advice even when we don’t ask for it.  It’s because we care so much and don’t like to see our friends suffering so we try to brainstorm a solution for them right there on the spot, I know I am also guilty of trying to fix a situation. This can be interpreted in two different ways, one that it is being done out of love and protectiveness or two, they are controlling, judging and criticizing everything you do.

I can understand why someone might think about it in the second example because it may come across like an attack and they aren’t accepting you as you are.  “You need to change.”  Change is scary and when we’re scared, we get defensive.

Now imagine if I said to you “Well *friend* I just love you.  I don’t care what happens to you.”

Huh???

Does this statement make you feel more relaxed, less anxious?  To some, it may come across as something cold but if I were to translate it to mean, “I really don’t care what happens to you, no matter what you do, I won’t love you any less.”  Real love comes from people who are both totally committed to helping—and able to emotionally detach.

Try this example; think of someone you love but causes you to feel angry, sad or anxious.  Now write “If ________ would only ____________ then I could feel ______________.”  Now scratch out the first part of that sentence so only this remains; “I could feel _______________.”

Yes, your lovely friends’ cooperation would be lovely, but you don’t absolutely need it to experience any given emotional state. This is incredibly hard to accept—it would be so easy to feel good if others would just do what we want, right? Nevertheless, you can feel sane even if your crazy-making friend stays crazy.  This is the key step to loving without caring.

We need to find our own ways to be happy and not depend so much on other people, especially the undependable ones!  Even if all your lovely friends remain insane forever, it’s still possible you’ll find opportunities to thrive and joys to embrace.   The bottom line is that we are powerless over other people and when we can accept that hard fact, that’s when we start creating our own happiness.  There are days when it feels like a non-stop cha-cha where it’s one step forward and two steps back but you have to trust yourself and your friends.  It’s all in the power of letting go of control and loving more.

One day it would be nice to hear “Friend, I love you unconditionally—I don’t care what happens to you.”  This is the kind of loving and uncaring friend we should all have in our lives.  The one who lets us be who we really are, to be free to do and choose what we want.  Live and let live, love and let love.  And in the end they will love us till the day we die no matter what.  As you support your friends this way, maybe they will mirror the same support back to you.  Either way you can be happy so what do you care?

At the same time, if you disagree then I lovingly and respectfully do not care 😛

To all my loving friends out there ❤

 

So much love to you all,

 

Jen 🙂
xoxo

 

 

 

 

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24 thoughts on “Love More By Caring Less. Huh?

  1. This is wonderful piece jenny ❤ Its hard to find friends who love you unconditionally 🙂 But if you are one of those lucky people 🙂 you better thank god for such a wonder 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lovely post Jennifer! I too feel blessed having freinds who are at times more precious than even some family members. There are some who have been with us since forever and some whom we have hardly seen or met but who go on to enrich our lives…Currently, I have many such friends from the blog world – and you are a new addition to that list! Your most actually reminded me to catch up with some old, childhood friends. Thank you and stay blessed!

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    • That’s so great Sri about you getting caught up with your childhood friends! 🙂 I agree with you that sometimes friends are closer than family ❤ It's great to have you in my new bloggers friends list too Sri ❤ 🙂

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  3. This is such an intuitive and wonderful post, Jen ❤ We all have those category of friends whose possessiveness can cause them to direct your choices. And only true friends understand what goes on in our mind, why we do certain things, and will love us regardless. Because they know how strong our friendship goes and nothing as flimsy as choices is going to affect anything ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deepika I love your comments! ❤ And thank you for liking my post my lovely friend 🙂 When we can all love each other unconditionally it strengthens the friendship bond even more and makes it unbreakable. ❤ I'm so glad you are one of these great people in my life! 😀

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    • Darshith, I’m really happy you loved the post and you think the fill in the blank write up is awesome ❤ Yes having amazing friends around us is very fulfilling and inspiring, especially when they are there for us unconditionally 🙂 Thank you for reading and for your comment, good to have you back on WP 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah I know you were virtually available 😛 but now you are back here too reading and commenting on blogs 😉 So that’s really great. Thank you for your awesome comment, it made my day. Sometimes practice is harder than theory but anything is possible 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Wonderful. This was nice. I think I have missed out a lot from your end. 🙂 My bad.
    I tried to fill the example, “I could feel heaven”. 🙂
    Thanks for writing. Amazing, as always.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Nevertheless, you can feel sane even if your crazy-making friend stays crazy. This is the key step to loving without caring.”

    Couldn’t agree with this more.Rather than trying to fix a friend’s crazy behaviour(which,as you said,is something over which one has no power over),it’s more appropriate to focus on my own reaction to the situation and hold my ground,and not let his/her craziness get to me.The unspoken message perhaps in this situation to my friend would be “You don’t need fixing.You’re fine the way you are”.Great post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Raja, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and leave a nice comment. You understood the post from every level and especially the unspoken message. We can give our friends the freedom to be who they want to be and no matter what, it doesn’t change the love we have for them. It’s about accepting them completely without expectations. Thank you again for liking the post 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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