What Worked Well (A to Z Challenge)

Feedback-withMartijn

Thumbs buttons

Remember the time when you were sitting in front of a teacher or in your boss’ office waiting to get feedback on something you did?  Those clammy hands, heart palpitations, nerves of steel?  Maybe not nerves of steel because when someone of authority gives you feedback, you hang on their every word.  And if those words are being executed in a negative fashion, you not only hear bad things but you feel them too.  So how do we give good feedback that’s motivating?

What Worked Well.

WWW

Not the World Wide Web 😉

Let’s imagine you just finished a project that took months to assemble and now the feedback is ready to come in and you’re ready too.  Your boss says “I liked what you did overall, this is what worked well…” WWW.  These words of praise are easy and lovely to listen to and make us feel motivated to do even more with a smile across our face.  All the positives are listed here, so far so good.  Notice that emotions are not involved in good feedback it’s about what worked well.

Here comes the cruncher.  Thoughts like what did I do wrong start racing through your head.  Those gremlins are chatting up a storm in there saying you aren’t good enough.  The boss says “But here’s what I didn’t like about your work.”  Or “This part was all wrong, you didn’t do ABC.” Ouch, sounds harsh right?  This is a perfect example of a failure frame because it describes what’s wrong, the mistakes, faults, limitations and blame.  If emotions like jealousy are laced throughout then it becomes a venting session which pretty much ends the conversation.  This does nothing but de-motivate someone even if what is being said is true because it becomes personal instead of about feedback.  So how do we end the madness?

Enter EBI.  Even Better If….

It is possible to give positive feedback in a supportive way by saying things like “I notice the way you do your work and it would be even better if….”  Or “This part would have been even better if you did XYZ….”

EBI

The feedback focuses on an outcome, a learning opportunity and how things happened.  By changing the words around this constructive criticism becomes motivating and the person doesn’t feel like a failure as in the previous example.

It’s all in the delivery of what worked well and even better if.

 

Much Love ❤

Jen
xo

Advertisements

23 thoughts on “What Worked Well (A to Z Challenge)

    • Thank you Shea 🙂 I think we all struggle for the right words on how to give feedback without hurting feelings, I learned this when I did life coaching and it has been helpful. 🙂 Thank you for reading and leaving a great comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow wise words.. (WWW).. Well written Jenni. Very true.. Feedback gives us a good sense of what we have done. If we get a good feedback we feel happy and it boosts our confidence..

    And if we get negative feedback and EBI as you said, we should take it as constructive feedback and it helps us in rectifying our mistakes and cone back with a bang!!

    Very nice Jenni.. Inspiring..

    Have a happy Wednesday.. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you very much Kalpanaa for liking the post this much 🙂 It’s great to see you and I really love your blog for so many reasons. If you can check your spam, my comments may have landed there. I’m having some WP issues lately! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is fantastic! I am not sure if you’ve already done that but you really need to write a book on motivation and life’s response to challenges. As I read, I realized, how many times I’ve myself been a ‘demotivator’ (okay, there is no such word as this) – to my colleagues, to my kids. Your blogs are such a great learning platform. Keep the magic on, Jennifer!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sri you are one amazing cheerleader for me! ❤ Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your love and support it really means alot to me. I learned this later in my own life from coaching and liked it too. Don't be hard on yourself, giving feedback is tough no matter what ❤ Thank you again!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Damn man, this is precisely going in my head. I have my one to one feedback and appraisal happening tomorrow. Kind of nervous, I know I deserve a lot. The kind of hard work I have put in is immense. If I get to hear words like “EBI”, “you could have”, “you dint do”, it’s gonna be disappointing. Lol. Wish me luck and fingers crossed.

    Lovely post my lady; )

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s