The Aftershocks

February 15^th, 2015 there was a record breaking earthquake that measured 8.0 on the Richter scale at the airport

Massive devastation and destruction took place that evening measuring 9.0 on the magnitude scale

Two tectonic plates suddenly collided against each other and was felt from miles around

Violent words you spoke were sudden and ground shaking causing elastic strain and eventual rupture causing widespread waves from the epicenter, my heart

The storm in your eyes cast immense darkness all around causing the lights and power to go out in mine

The airport high winds mimicked a hurricane and tornado all spun into one, whisking me away into oblivion

I lost everything…everything

A year and more has passed since that horrific day but the trauma and aftershocks remain

Some days the aftershocks feel worse than the earthquake itself

I guess that’s what aftershocks are all about, haunting thoughts, feelings and nightmares

Wounds heal and reopen over and over, leaving a deeper scar each time

Life has become a permanent construction zone with ongoing repairs, adjustments and rebuilding

Things are better now but those triggers and aftershocks still appear out of nowhere and continue to cause destruction which requires further rebuilding on my part, just when I thought it was done

One step forward, two steps back

The completion date is unlimited and unassigned, it changes by the week

Not that you care, you have moved on

Trauma takes a very long time to heal, longer than I ever expected

But I’m up for the challenge because I’m a woman on a mission

A mission for all women and that’s to take a stand against all forms of betrayal

Where you stand is where you land

When I look back on how far I’ve come I’m proud and much better off

I don’t work alone I belong to a team of outstanding people worldwide who love and support me

The silver lining is glowing from as far as outer space and positive vibes surround me

The emotional spikes have become rounded waves and calmer, I still see the odd spike here and there

But the aftershocks have become less intense and more spread out

The ground no longer trembles to the point where I lose my balance, my stance is firm now

Despite all this, my smile has returned on my face and in my heart

I’m helping people and doing the things I love to do with genuine people who care

All I know is that I will fully recover, the memories will fade and the aftershocks will end

I’m almost there and I’ll get there soon

I’m getting everything back, slowly but surely

Mark my words.

 

~ Written by Jennifer Juneau