Transformation Is A Beautiful Thing

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Inspiration can be found in many corners of our life and in the lives of others.  Life is in motion at all times and if we stop and pay attention, that’s when we notice inspiring moments, people, places, and things.  Personally, one of the greatest things I love to see is how someone can transform themselves from being in a negative state to becoming their own superhero.  It’s not about winning a popularity contest but about being the best version of yourself after struggling with something so difficult for so long and coming out of it beautifully.

When I think about transformation, I think of metaphors because what metaphors can do is open our mind to a new perspective and deeper understanding of the potential transformation.  It’s like a window or a doorway we can move through and find ways to relate it to our situation.

‘Meta’ means over and beyond and in transformation, it is over and beyond reality.  My favorite metaphor of all is the caterpillar becoming a butterfly through the power of metamorphosis because one step over and beyond the caterpillar, the butterfly emerges.  In life when we try to step beyond a belief, behavior, fear or circumstance, a metaphor can transform a person ‘s perspective and trigger their values which allow them to step into joy in their life.

For example, a person who has a fear of public speaking may be struggling inside this cocoon for some time but wants to overcome it through transformation.  Just the mere thought of having to get up and speak to a few or many people can start the heart palpitations and make someone freeze right in their tracks because of stage fright.  This person’s main goal is to avoid public speaking and social events at all costs, mainly because they are shy.  The struggle is within their own mind and trying to silence the  negative voice.

I was speaking with a friend recently and he said not only can shyness get in the way but add a language barrier on top of everything and you’ve got yourself a fearful scenario.  I can only imagine how hard and uncomfortable that must feel to be around people you can’t connect with.  He gave an example where his workplace required them to do impromptu group speeches in front of everyone and his first instinct was to run and hide but since he wanted to transform his fear into something more comfortable, he remembered the first lesson from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey.

Be Proactive.

In this lesson, Covey talks about taking responsibility for your own life and stresses the importance of focusing your time and energy on the things you have control over in life.  In a matter of minutes, my friend took this lesson and applied it to his own life right before facing one of the most fearful things; public speaking.  He changed his self-talk from negative to positive saying “Don’t freeze, focus on the audience instead of your own awkwardness, think of how you would want to see a speaker, put yourself in the shoes of the audience and see yourself from their perspective so you can transform your fear into something you love.  Imagine yourself being courageous even if you think you aren’t.  Be yourself, no stress or pressure, you are surrounded by friends.  Learn to laugh at yourself, life is too serious, be imperfect so people can connect, enjoy yourself and live outside your comfort zone.”

He stood up and managed to convince himself of everything he said and faced his fear by talking about his imperfections by making jokes with the audience.  People were laughing with him, and it gave a soaring boost to his self-confidence which made him continue even more.  He felt both shocked and happy with himself that day because it was a life changing moment, a real transformation where he struggled so long with negative self-talk but in the end after all that hard work, he emerged beautifully like a butterfly.  What a perfect example of going over and beyond his reality and honoring the value of courage.

More times than not, we struggle in our minds and hearts about who we are and about how we want other people to see us. We wrestle with worthiness and shame all at the same time when really we all belong together and we are more similar than we are different.

When I asked him how he felt about that day he said “It changed my outlook towards socializing, facing fears, being vulnerable, handling pressure situations and making friends in general.  And every victory I have had since that day, I attribute to this one act of mine where I overcame myself.  And, needless to say, making friends has been not as difficult as I feared since that day.  I survived.”

Bravo my friend for daring to live courageously, keep rockin’ the shark fin 😉

Transformation is a beautiful thing.

“How does one become a butterfly?  You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”  ~Trina Paulus

 

Much Love ❤
Jen

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Cheers to Three Years…

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Hey, it’s my three-year blogging anniversary today, June 18th, 2016!!  I wanted to honor this day and write something special so let’s take a short trip back in time, shall we?

Three years ago, one of my closest friends encouraged me to create this blog because she had one too.  She’s a life coach and one of my biggest cheerleaders and motivators in my life and even though I was months away from becoming a life coach myself, I had reservations about starting this blog before I obtained that status.  However, she encouraged me to just begin blogging and not worry about perfection.  She said, “If you wait for a perfect time, that time never comes, begin it now.”  So I did and Courage Coach was born.  I had no idea what I wanted to write about, so one of my first posts was about courage itself which represented what I am all about and to show I walk the talk.  After one post I felt like I had writer’s block already so for my second post I put up a photo of nature I took because I found it inspiring 😉

In that first year, I became a coach and used to blog once a month, finding topics related to life coaching and areas that interested me.  I refined my tabs and my About Me page almost 50 times because I wanted to create this reading and writing space for two reasons.  To market my life coaching business and to connect with people worldwide by writing on topics we all deal with in a positive light such as health and wellness goals, loss, how to forgive, and much more.

During my second year, I was blogging frequently because I felt more confident and I was fully into life coaching.  The more I wrote about life the more I discovered myself in the process, I was falling in love with writing all over again and was starting to meet many people worldwide who connected with my words.  My friend was right that in order to connect with people we shouldn’t worry about being perfect because when we’re willing to show up and be seen and allow ourselves to be imperfect, that’s where beauty is found and where connection lives.

This past year proved to be the most devastating and exceptional year of all.  2015 started out with a huge betrayal to me and despite this, I had to continue life coaching and inspire people even though I didn’t feel inspired myself at times.  I am also a nurse taking care of other people and there were days I could barely take care of myself.  It was the biggest personal internal war I ever fought aside from the fact of being abandoned on my own with two kids.  Waves of emotion were drowning me and I had to find a way out so I turned to writing because it’s what I love to do and it literally saved me.

I wrote about quotes and topics I was dealing with to heal myself and after doing so, people were connecting with me even more because it was written with emotion and it was cathartic for me.  I wrote my heart out and cried my eyes out and wrote in a way that was inspiring instead of venting and every time I did this, I felt a little better so I could continue living my new life as “normally” as possible while focusing on the positives I had.  The more I focused on what I had, the more I received in return.  Therefore, on one hand I was being abandoned by one person and on the other I was connecting with hundreds of others.  Connection always wins.

My greatest surprise was making several friends in India who went from WordPress followers to Facebook friends and finally a trip to India to meet some of them in person who are a huge part of my life now.  After blogging about my trip, my India following has increased dramatically and I love my nickname, the “daughter of India.”  One day I’ll have to come back and meet everyone 🙂

In 2016 I did my first #A-Z Challenge which was so much fun and I had to write every day except Sundays.  I met, even more, people who inspire me.  The beauty of finding inspiration and life coaching is that it’s like a magic mirror.  What you see in me, I also see in you.

One of my favorite things to do is to go through the WordPress reader and get caught up with everyone’s blogs and vlogs to see what’s inspiring you, read what’s on your mind and know that you’re okay.  I have learned so much from everyone I am following! Commenting on blogs and reading comments is fun too, this always puts a smile on my face 😀

What I know for sure, is this blog represents life coaching, my writing, a worldwide community, friendships, family and 954 followers to date.  Most of all, this blog represents me; a courageous woman who overcame adversity through writing.  Ironically, I chose the right name for my blog after all.  My job is to inspire you to be courageous and live your life to the fullest.

I am eternally grateful to be connected with ALL of you, it’s been quite a blogging journey with your love and support, I feel inspired and motivated to keep writing more and because of that, I’m writing a book on how I managed to get through this betrayal and what I learned along the way, I’ll let you know when it’s finished.  My life is better now, many thanks to all of you.

Keep blogging and keep going people.  We’re all in this together.

Cheers to three years…

 

All my love ❤

Jen
xo

Genuinely Interested or Just Curious?

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I recently met with one of my friends and we were talking about this exact topic because there are times in every stage of life when somebody is questioning what we do.  Whether it’s how we wear our hair to how we raise our children and even how we express our creativity.

Effective communication whether it’s with loved ones or complete strangers should be out of respect.  Respect for why they do the things they do and don’t do and respect for privacy.  Some questions should never even be asked like “When are you going to start a family?”  This is not only a personal question it strikes a chord with some so deep because maybe they tried to have a baby and it’s not happening yet or maybe they are in the middle of a fertility treatment they don’t want to reveal and shouldn’t have to.

Relationships are another hot topic people like to dive into with a list of questions at their fingertips.   “Have you started dating” or “When are you going to get engaged?”  Perhaps that person isn’t ready to date yet because of a previous fall out in their life or for someone else getting engaged is not that simple due to family issues.  But people pursue and keep asking more.

Raising children is probably the biggest one of all because since there are so many stages they go through, it’s difficult not to compare with other families.  But here’s the thing.  Books are a great guide they are not the Bible.  Every child develops differently at different rates and as long as the Dr is happy with their progress and the family home is a happy one, that’s all that matters.  Some children develop slower than others because of a health issue and when someone questions their progress by comparing it to a child without health issues, is that even fair?

When faced with these types of situations in our life we need to ask ourselves some questions first.  Is this person genuinely interested in my life or are they just curious, or plain old nosy?  What is the motivation behind their questioning?  Are they trying to make small talk?  Will I ever see this person again even though I’m sitting beside them on a plane for the next 5 hours?  You do not need to divulge your personal life to anyone unless you feel comfortable doing so.  There’s no need to answer that question if you feel they are just being curious.  People who are genuinely interested in what you have to say are the ones who won’t judge you.  They’re with you and in it for the long haul.  Sure advice might be given but you can take it or leave it, in the end, it’s your decision anyway so don’t let it bother you.

As far as being creative, we all have it, we’re all artists in some way shape or form.  Some of us just use it more than others and nobody’s perfect.  There’s no need to start a rally to get people on your side.  Enjoy what you do and love every minute of it.

If you feel like shaving your head or chopping your hair short then by all means go right ahead.  It’s time for people to put the judgmental magnifying lens down and start trusting people that they have the ability to make good decisions on their own.  Just because they aren’t doing things the way you are doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

And if you don’t believe me, are you genuinely interested or just curious?

 

Much Love ❤

Jen

 

Sisters I never had :D

A beautiful blog post by my two soul sisters, Pratyusha and Bhavya ❤ ❤ I love you girls!!! xoxo Distance doesn't mean anything when you have love and friendship ❤ ❤

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So here’s a special post by a guest blogger by Bhavya Mishra. 🙂
It’s a heartfelt rendition for the sisters!!!
This is nothing less than an award of love for me 😛
Love you loads honey bun. Always stay happy!!! Muahhh

Here’s the surprise for You Jennifer !!!!!! Keep your tissue papers ready Jen !! 😀
P.S. : Do check out their amazing and marvellous blogs 🙂

We sure are sisters by Soul We sure are sisters by Soul

Hello everyone.. Soooooo Pratyusha(P.. as i call her) asked me to write something for her blog months ago and being the lazy mess i am i kept her waiting for so long..(sorry for keeping you waiting and thank you being so patient with me love). Let’s get started.

Sisters.. i have read so many quotes about sisters and how precious they are.. i never really knew what it meant or how it felt to have a…

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