Where Does Trust Start?

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How many times have you heard or caught yourself saying “I can’t trust that person” or “I’ll never be able to trust anyone ever again.”  Relationships of all kinds require the element of trust in order to be real and successful.  However, trust is often a sliding scale and where you land on it can vary with each day, person or situation.  We usually know where trust ends which is a betrayal of some sort but have you ever wondered the opposite?

Where does trust start?

“I always knew that George was hiding money from me, but I didn’t listen to myself.  Now that we are getting divorced, he’s not being honest with me about his money situation.  I trusted  him, instead of me and now I’m left with nothing.”

This person didn’t listen to themselves and put their trust in someone else which sadly ended in betrayal.   People talk about listening to their gut feelings which are our intuition and inner messages trying to tell us something.  If and when we put our trust in others, instead of in ourselves, that’s when we give away our power to someone else and set ourselves up for being used and betrayed.  It’s also when we point the finger and blame them and not us.  In the case of a betrayal, both sides play a role in the breakdown but when it comes to trust, it all begins with you.

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How often have you heard and felt your intuition telling you what is true or untrue and instead you ignored it, only to regret it after the fact?  A voice might say “You’re still with that person- why didn’t you leave?”  Author Caroline Myss says this is a betrayal to yourself and it hurts the most because deep down you know what to do but if you don’t trust yourself to do the right thing, your life begins to harm you.  That voice often speaks the truth we don’t want to hear but it doesn’t turn off.  When you start to pay attention by trusting your inner knowing, your trust issues with other people will slowly be resolved and it will be harder for them to betray you.

Going back to the original question of where does trust start?  It’s ironic because trust has nothing to do with the other person initially, but has everything to do with you, and once you can begin to trust yourself, you will be able to trust others and form strong, lasting and loving relationships.

Start trusting yourself first.

Self-trust + Self-love = Trusting, Loving Relationships with Others ❤

 

Much Love ❤

 

Jen
xo

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39 thoughts on “Where Does Trust Start?

    • Why some people are pathological liars? I spend 3.5 yrs in relationship with a man, who was just making up things…including that he wants a child we have, so after I discover that he never wanted a child, that was just a story to seduce me and make me love him…I wonder is it possible to trust someone again? After all of this…I need friendly advice on that…How to forget, and move on, bcs I already forgive him…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hello, and thank you for stopping by my blog. First of all, I would like to extend my sympathies to you for having gone through what you did. This person sounds selfish and it’s unfortunate you and your child have endured these lies. Secondly, you are very strong and brave to have forgiven him because that is the first step in being able to move on and move on you will. Start with enjoying your own company and then branch out from there but only when you’re ready. Trust your own intuition, take baby steps with others and with yourself. When you look back on everything now, can you see any red flags that he may have covered up? I truly hope you are okay and take your time in healing. I can understand where you are coming from in a betrayal sense. Hugs to you…. ❤ Stay blessed.

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      • Dear Jennifer,
        thank you so much for following my blog. I am very sad, humiliated, and feel just horrible after all what happened. On top of all I am stalked with my partner new lover, or who knows who, since he says she is not in emotional relationship with her, but she is saying something else. In the time he had a blast with someone else, he was telling me we will move in together next year, and live together…but at the same time he will hit me in many occasions, and could not stand the word i say. I am heart broken, and I do not know how to go over this all. This blog comes up to me like place where I can at least write all, and hope that someone will read, and that I am not an idiot as he wanted to present me all those years. I am MD, PhD, speak a couple of languages, not an moron, and on top of all I am war survivor in Serbia, and always was a fighter, but now I feel I am not sure after this I will ever get up. Like he did it all on purpose, to hurt me as much as he could. I will write my new story, in chapters, bcs I do not know how else to deal with all of that. I live in Belgium, I have no friends here, just extreamly sick father who is in hospital with senile dementia, mum who had a breast cancer, and is currently helping me with children, and son 18 who is in a very difficult last year of British School, in order to get all best grades and study Medicine next year….I have no financial help, nothing…I am lonely, desperate, and tired and yes, I will rather say mentally exhausted of all….Want to leave this country, but cannot due to my father illness and we cannot transport him to Serbia, so I have to stay for some time, but I will get a new job, and hopefully start a new life somewhere else far away from a pathological liar…and I do hope our roads will never cross again, even we have a child together….Thank you for even reading this…I like your page, and you write about the same things I do…
        Cheers

        Silvija

        Liked by 1 person

      • Silvija, my heart goes out to you ❤ You are a very brave woman who has been taken advantage of by a manipulative person, unfortunately. All the education in the world cannot compete with this type of mastermind so please don't beat yourself up, you are an intelligent person. I hope you can find some caregiver support in your area so you can take some time out for yourself. It's very important for you to do this even though it sounds counterintuitive. I also hope you can find a job too, that will help in many ways..if you would like to contact me via email, that might be even better. jennifer.juneau1@gmail.com

        I will take a look at your blog today and in the meantime, keep your chin up, you're doing great my friend xoxo

        Hugs to you.

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  1. Jennifer, loved the post. Honestly, trust is one of my biggest issues. When Allie and I went through our rough period, there were so many people who took advantage of our situation. It is hard to trust again. But as you say,
    trust begins with oneself. Allie and I trust one another completely. We have reached the point where we are slowly letting people into our circle. But as you say, we can do this, because we trust in ourselves, the strength of our marriage, and our ability to overcome anything that comes in our way.

    Great post. I trsut you are well. Have a lovely weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Andrew, yes I am doing well thank you so much. That’s great you loved the post and I completely understand where you are coming from with trust issues, I have to take my own blog advice sometimes 😉 I’m learning how to trust again too after everything I’ve been through. You and Allie are amazing and both of you can overcome anything I’m sure of it. Trust your intuition about people and their motivation of why they do the things they do. I hope you are having a great summer so far and I wish both of you a lovely weekend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow.. this was a good reminder, to trust your intuition. I really agree with the part, when one person knows and feels that its not right, but still does or be in it. Sad, it will be a loose loose situation to blurr your eyes.

    It must have been hard for you to face the reality in your personal life, tough. Take care!!

    Nice post, enjoy the day!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Ankit! Thank you so much for liking the post about trust. It’s been hard for me to face the reality yes but I’m coming back slowly but surely 🙂 There’s always a life lesson in everything, that’s how we grow and growing is a lifelong process. I hope you are good and are having a great day too!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jen this was an excellently written nail in the head post 🙂 Only if we trust ourselves will we ever trust anyone else. You’re absolutely right about the instincts and gut feeling about things. You can always analyse a person from the aura they give off and then we can choose in what position we have to put them in our lives if their presence is inevitable 😀 And to analyse that, trust in ourselves is absolutely necessary. Absolutely wonderful post, Jen, it’s the need of the hour ❤ How have you been, darling? ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • My amazing girl Deepika! ❤ I'm doing fine thank you so much, been busy writing these days for different reasons but it's all good! 😀 Going on summer holidays soon too. Thank you so much for liking this post Deepika, and that's great if it came at the right hour too ❤ Trust is tricky, I know from experience which is why I write these posts sometimes they're for me to learn at the same time. The important thing is to listen to our intuition, gut feelings. They're always right. I hope you are doing well too my sweet friend! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wonderful, Jen!! ❤ I really, really loved this post 😀 Keep writing, dear, you're incredible and have such a unique style 🙂 ❤ I'm doing fine, Jen, just messed in my head for the moment 😀 I don't why it's there, but I'm trusting I'll get over it soon and become normal again 😀 Much love to you! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hey Deepika thank you for all your kind words sweetheart ❤ I hope things get better for you and if you need any help, please don't hesitate to ask me. Send me a PM, I'm here for you always 🙂 ❤ Much love and hugs back to you xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you so much, darling ❤ I just tend to get paranoid about things and it's usually a huge challenge to get over it 😀 I'm feeling better now, don't worry ❤ Some mind relaxation exercises I looked up really worked! 😀 ❤ But if it gets worse again, I know you're always there for me to soothe me, Jen ❤ Hugs and kisses! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Trust is a hard topic. I know because I’ve known how it feels to be betrayed by the people you put all your trust in. I know I have trust issues and I’m going to have to deal with them somehow but it would be so much better if trust wasn’t a major pillar in the stability of a relationship. Yet it sounds so wrong even as I’m writing it. I guess I just don’t get why someone would betray you when they know you wouldn’t do that to them! Nice piece! Really moved me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Odindo for your beautiful comment. I know and understand how hard trust is but it’s our work to learn more about it. I agree with everything you said 🙂 We’ll get there soon!

      Like

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