After reading this title, you might think this blog is about your soon-to-be-16 year-old-son getting his driver’s license; but it’s not.
That’s another story.
Instead, this blog is about relationships and believe me, I’m not an expert in this field but I will speak from my experience and what I’ve learned, not only about love relationships but also about relationships we have with our friends and family, work and with ourselves. The real expert in talking about relationships is my friend Andrea Syrtash who is a relationships author and columnist who has written for Oprah and Glamour magazine, and I give many credits to her for opening my eyes on this vital topic.
Andrea has taught me that the first question I should ask is “Does this person bring out my best?” If the answer is no, then there is either work to be done or you need to re-evaluate whether it’s worth keeping in your life. Not every relationship is forever and some are even toxic. As situations change, people change along with them which is why a re-evaluation every now and then couldn’t hurt and should be done.
An example of a toxic relationship is being with someone who is submissive and enjoys putting you down, they are a control freak. A toxic person will target your fears and feed on them whereas a loving person will sense your fears and try to soothe them. In order for a toxic relationship to change and improve, the toxic person needs to realize they need to take their hands off the wheel and be nice by giving up control for awhile and letting someone else drive because they are not the only one on the road, nor are they the best driver either.
There is nothing worse than a backseat driver.
Relationships take a huge amount of effort on both sides to make them work, whether that’s with friends and family, work, love or ourselves. Over time, it’s common to see people become lazy or complacent in their relationships and this is where it becomes dangerous because people stop paying attention, they get tired and eventually fall asleep at the wheel. The other person ends up feeling left out and even at risk of being taken for a ride. The end result could either be a close call where something major wakes them up just in time, or it could end up being a car crash where everyone gets hurt and some may not survive.
Imagine if both sides are falling asleep at the wheel! Let’s not even go there!
Out of all the relationship types listed here, the relationship with ourselves seems to suffer the most because we say we’re too busy to join the gym, no time to eat, other commitments come first and so on. In order for the other relationships to work well, this is the one relationship that should be tended to first because when you feel good, you want to be good and do good. All of your relationships benefit from the fact that you are taking care of yourself and are paying attention to how you feel so that you have the energy and desire to feed the others.
So how do we stay awake and motivated in all our relationships? Coffee is always good and some prefer Red Bull but what you really need is to ask that important question from time to time “Does this person bring out my best?” This also includes you, do you bring out your best? Learn to appreciate, nurture and care, take an honest look to see if it’s time to adjust your speed, to hold on or let go of the wheel. Pay attention to details because you don’t want to miss anything, or run somebody over. Keep your eyes on the road, and whatever you do, don’t fall asleep at the wheel.
You could risk losing everything 😉
Much Love ❤