Welcome to August everyone! I hope you’re having a wonderful summer spending time with those you love and time on your own. As promised, I am starting a new blog series titled “Project-Self” which will include several topics related to how we can take better care of ourselves. Sometimes when we are busy taking care of everyone else, we forget that we count too and if our tank is empty, how can we give to others or be at our best?
My intention is to keep these blogs positive and reflect on life. Self-betrayal is a great way to start this series because how many times do we put ourselves last, or people please to control an outcome? Every single relationship begins with us, whether that’s at work, with friends, family, lovers, kids and especially with ourselves. If you want love, you need self-love, if you want to trust, you need self-trust first. If you want to be true to yourself and your needs, you cannot betray yourself. Finding happiness begins within yourself first and once you can feel it, even in the slightest way, you begin to radiate and attract it.
To know yourself, you need to spend time with yourself.
Author Caroline Myss talks about knowing what your life purpose is and how you can be true to who you are without it costing your power. She says when you betray your own happiness for the sake of others and their feelings, you are betraying yourself and what’s inside of you. Your intuition never shuts off and you feel that nagging knot in your stomach. Sound familiar? I know I’ve been there before. That’s how you know you’re going off your path. Self-betrayal is when you feel you have to negotiate your sense of integrity, and you compromise who you are as a person.
When you no longer betray yourself and put your happiness first, you no longer feel like it is costing you your power, psyche, soul, you’re not confused or drained like you are losing yourself.
Compromising within a relationship is different and necessary if you want it to work. If the choice enhances your spirit, you made a compromise. If the choice drained your spirit, you just betrayed yourself.
If you are in a relationship where you are pretending that everything is ok when it truly isn’t, you are betraying everything in your heart and you can feel it. Is that fair to you? To the people around you?
Are we ever on the wrong path? Caroline Myss says no, you are always on the right path but sometimes, you are just not managing it well. You are making choices that are harming you and that’s why it is hurting. When your life path begins to harm you, you’ve taken a detour.
What I’ve learned is that blaming other people for our choices is the easy way out because they may have done something bad, but we allowed it to continue. Everything starts with us and what we are willing to tolerate.
For example, someone may have betrayed you in the past, and maybe you think that’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you when in fact the ultimate betrayal, is the betrayal to yourself. When you sell yourself short of what you want or need, you always lose at a very high cost. Not only that, Caroline Myss says when you do betray yourself, you are no different than the people who harm you. Wow…and ouch! That to me is a double whammy and a huge wake-up call to make a change in how I manage myself. I honestly never thought of it this way but she is right. If we want to be happy, we need to find what makes us happy and do that as often as possible with people who bring out our best. We need to realize that the opposite of self-betrayal is self-trust and being loyal to us. We all want healthy relationships but we need to get healthy ourselves so we attract that in return.
These are the reasons I decided to start with the topic of self-betrayal to bring awareness and show you do count, it is not selfish to take care of yourself, you can do this while maintaining relationships, and be kind to yourself because you are so worth it.
Here is a short video of Caroline Myss in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, talking about self-betrayal.
For those who are new here… Welcome!! For those who are returning, Welcome Back!! If you are interested in my book “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” it is available at online bookstores worldwide and at FriesenPress.
“Project-Self” to be continued…
Much Love and Gratitude ❤