There You Are…

I gazed up at the stars last night and asked; “How many soulmates are reunited in the sky and
shining down on us?”
You answered; “All of them, they are connected for life. You meet your soulmate when you find
your soul. Their light and the moon inspire us to carry on”

At sunrise, the world felt so alive, I could feel its heartbeat
Birds happily singing and sharing playlists in springtime
It’s lilac season now, the smell and color of pure joy and happiness
Our heartfelt conversations last for hours and hours…
While each fragile heart has so much to say and share
Especially when it comes to nature and each other
After all, timing is everything in nature, and with love

Rainfall, one of the most bittersweet sounds of both sadness and romance
The day I almost lost you, the skies opened up and cried endlessly, but I cried for you even
more…
How many silver linings are in these clouds?
These silver linings are a blessing and often overlooked in life, as is the blue sky in nature

One Friday afternoon, you spread the blanket under a swaying willow tree surrounded by a
canopy of greenery above and soft green grass below
How beautiful was that?
This special memory will remain cherished in my mind and heart forever

One evening, we painted sunsets at the beach with hues of pink, orange, yellow, and purple
Waves gently curled themselves on the shore the same way your fingers curl around mine
I still get butterflies when you take my hand in yours
These butterflies are a sign of transformation, a change for the better
As we sit and watch the sparkling sun dance across the lake and feel calm

I remember when you surprised me with a romantic dinner on a mountain top
It was as if we were in heaven yet there we were on earth
I felt the wind brush through my hair the same way you do with your fingers, I love that so much
You opened your heart carefully like a dahlia blooming in late July
Sharing windows of opportunity inviting love inside like sunshine, I wish it will stay forever
Every living, breathing thing grows, evolves, changes, blooms with patience, and needs to be taken
care of, and loved

Time passes quickly and how I wish it would stand still; just for a moment
As I look at you I realize how connected we are to nature, life, and each other
If I ever miss you, all I have to do is step outside, look up at the stars suspended deep in the midnight blue sky, and there you are…

Much Love,

Jennifer ❤

Taken Off and Safely Landed

My daughter’s first solo trip

As my stomach rolls with the woozy feeling one feels during turbulence, it’s important to point out that I’m not actually the one on a flight, my daughter is. Determined to travel alone and gain confidence and independence, my 21-year-old has embarked on her first solo travel trip. 

This has been a few years in the making. 4 years ago she left for a high school trip that would set her burgeoning anxiety disorder aflame. That trip had her believing that not only would she never travel again, but that she would also never eat in a restaurant nor be able to calm the constant turmoil in her mind and body. 

A lot has happened in those 4 years, tears, fears, and a slow resolve to not only challenge her anxiety but to make peace with it. A lifelong companion that she could take along for the ride but ride she would indeed!

Our relationship changed a lot through those years too. I felt a revisit to the days of her younger years when she needed me far more mentally to lean on and physically to be near.  It was challenging for both of us considering I had my own challenges to deal with. We sort of fell into this symbiotic “there for one another”, struggle buddies if you will. And that became our new normal. 

But slowly and with massive amounts of courage, counseling, and education, my daughter has incrementally opened her world wider and wider. This leaves me with where I am today…proud yes, but also knowing I have to make yet another mental shift. Much like the one I had to make 4 years ago but with a 180 twist. The comfort I felt being her support system is no longer needed in those extreme ways. My mental pivot now must be to recognize that she’s on her way in the best possible way a parent can want for their child. To see her no longer as the fragile person struggling who “needs” me, but the brave, strong woman she has become. If I am being really honest, I feel a tinge of being left behind. Being that she is an only child, our bond has been particularly intense. I know this is what you wish for as a parent. A child who grows into themselves fully, independent, and capable. Especially after how arduous the past years were. 

As I sit and watch the flight tracker app of her plane, I know she has taken off and I have landed safely.

Love,

M ❤ 

**This blog was written by one of my close friends for her brave daughter ❤ Well done everyone ❤