Welcome Home

“We are all just walking each other home” ~ Ram Dass

Dear Anxiety,

So, here we are, we meet again. You have this habit of showing up whenever things are going well and your goal is to disrupt that and throw me under the bus while watching…

You’ve managed to pull the trigger many times and have succeeded by setting my nervous system on fire and clouding my judgment over the years

Well, I have news for you Anxiety, you’re not a prison life sentence. Instead, you’re a key through a doorway and I get to decide where my life leads next

We’ve known each other for a long time and yet it’s only recently that I want to befriend you.  You’ve been there all along trying to protect me.  I’ve then recoiled from you thinking you are trying to hurt me

This has only made our relationship more fearful and stronger. I fear and ignore you and distract myself which makes you cry louder and stronger, like a child not being heard

I hear you now and I see you so I’m going to welcome you in instead of running from you or stiffening against you. 

Come, sit, and know that things are safe.  When I turn to you and sit with you, I know you will begin to calm and over time, you won’t need to scream so loud

We can coexist and I can live my life knowing you won’t hurt me

As the late and great Maya Angelou once said, “I know why the caged bird sings. A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.”

I have the key to the cage that Anxiety tries to wrap around me. Despite this cage, I can still find peace and happiness and sing my song too. I also have wings that allow me to escape that cage anytime

I’m tired of your overwhelming waves that wash over me out of the blue. I feel like I’m underwater in those unmanageable anxious moments

You increase my breathing and heart rate, right to the point of fainting while you just sit there and watch the entire downward spiral unfold…

You slowly creep in and send me into panic mode for no real reason and I become my own worst enemy. It’s not fair to me or to the ones I love

Thankfully, my amazing support system handles me with undying care and unconditional love. They are tired of you too Anxiety. Your persistence is annoying

I tell myself to meditate, sit down and slow down. Walk outside in nature, listen to music, write, or paint. With growth, there are going to be growing pains, please be patient…

Breathe…

I don’t need to figure out how to keep going at this high level of anxiety, I need to figure out how to calm my nervous system down

I can be self-compassionate when sitting with this feeling and get curious by asking, “Why is it here right now? What is Anxiety trying to teach me?”
Anxiety is not accurate
Anxiety serves no purpose in life
Anxiety can challenge relationships to the point of destruction for no real reasons
Anxiety shows up when things are going well
Anxiety is a royal pain in the ass

Be aware of anxiety, but don’t make it your lifestyle. Become more present. Cultivate calm because anxiety is contagious but so is calm. Therefore, when I heal myself, I heal others in the process

I’m falling in love with the process of becoming the very best version of myself. I need more time to do less

It’s a continuous work in progress to speak kindly to yourself because your inner child is listening and so is the Universe. Be careful what you put out there because it will come back to you

Be open to what’s next and stop worrying about how it will all play out. I’ve spent countless years metabolizing pain and anxiety, it’s time to let it all go, and stop gaslighting myself…

I’ve realized the peace I’ve been seeking for so long is not out there in the world. It’s inside of me. I’ve been searching for something familiar that I already had inside. That’s why I can’t find it out there. It’s almost like you’ve been looking for your keys and they’ve been in your pocket the whole time

Walk yourself back to who you truly are; your loving and imperfect self. It’s time to build a safe haven within and with the one you love

After all, you’re only human

It’s time for us to say goodbye, Anxiety. I definitely don’t need or want you in my life. You’ve caused me enough trouble, and you’re not welcome to live here anymore

I’m saying hello to a peaceful, true, and deep love instead, I’m finally safe…

Welcome home, Jen ❤

**This blog was written in collaboration with a dear friend of mine as if Anxiety was a person and is dedicated to anyone and everyone who experiences various degrees of anxiety at different times in their life.  Sometimes it’s deceiving that what we see on the outside is not what’s going on on the inside. Please know you are not alone and we can get through this together.  All my love to all of you.  Just like Bruno Mars, you can Count On Me

Love Always,

Jen ❤

**Copies of my book, “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” are still available on the publishing website FriesenPress. All my gratitude to all of you ❤

~ Dare To Live Courageously…