Evening summer walks are my favorite because things are quieter, calm, and the sun is less intense. I feel HAPPY.
As I walk down the street, I see a house and the address is DENIAL. I suddenly feel a pain in my chest and rehearse those words in my head again out of nowhere. “This can’t be happening, don’t worry about it.” I think of what I lost and keep walking.
As I turn the corner onto the next street, I see another house and the address is BARGAINING. I suddenly feel a lump in my throat and remember how desperate I was trying to hold on and make a deal. “If you can just tell me how I can fix this, then everything will be ok.” The loss feels heavy but I keep walking.
As I reach the cul-de-sac, I see another house and the address is ANGER. I suddenly feel trapped with a pit in my stomach and all I want to do is scream at the heavens above me. “How could you do this to me?” Strangely enough, I feel a burst of energy and start running up the street, passing BARGAINING and DENIAL. I ask myself, “What is going on here?” I’m sure I look crazy to some.
As I run to the next street over, I see a lake at the end and I am drawn towards it. There’s a house on the corner and the address is DEPRESSION. I suddenly feel waves of sadness come over me and the tears start flowing and flowing. “It’s not easy, I feel so alone…I lost everything.” The loss feels huge and I am exhausted. Then for some reason, I turn around and walk down the same street passing the other houses in no particular order and they each have a strange way of haunting me. I don’t understand why or what is happening but I somehow keep walking.
Years and miles go by up and down these streets, passing house after house, experiencing feeling after feeling. Over time I discovered a new street I was avoiding all along and started walking that way. I see a house that catches my eye and the address is ACCEPTANCE. I finally feel peace and happiness just standing there looking at it. I think to myself how long it took to find it after years of walking, running, feeling, and forgiving.
Take a breath…
This blog is dedicated to anyone and everyone who has lost someone or something in their life. One thing I know for sure is that grieving is different for everyone. The stories of loss might be different, the order and length of grieving stages might be different, but the emotions are the same and that’s how we are all connected. Don’t compare your inside to someone’s outside because you’ll always lose. You will heal when you are ready, you are not on a schedule, but you have to keep going and ask for help. Triggers can still happen but the only way out is through because one minute you’re happy and the next minute you are grieving one or more of the stages.
But in the end, the pain becomes the cure. That I know for sure.
Take another breath…
You’re doing your best ❤
Much Love ❤
*I would like to give a shout out to one of my good friends and soul sister, Danielle Lewis because on Monday, October 21st, she is releasing her new podcast called “Mom’s Still Standing” You can subscribe to her podcast on iTunes, she has some great guest speakers on it too 😉
I love this song Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves. Have a beautiful weekend everyone ❤
*Copies of “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” are available at all online bookstores worldwide. All my gratitude to YOU ❤
~ Dare to live courageously…