Golden

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Golden ~by Ruth B

The fire used to burn
All the words used to hurt
But you’re not like us
You are different
I couldn’t see that that was a compliment
Cause the last thing I want now is to be you

And the flames don’t feel as hot as they used to
Burn, burn, burn,
They used to yell
You thought I was coal
My friend, I’m gold, can’t you tell?

Burn, burn, burn
They used to yell
You thought I was coal
My friend, I’m gold, can’t you tell?

Cause I’m not weak,
I’m not broken,
I am bold
And the fire you put me through turned me into gold
I’m not done, I’m no loser
Watch me take on my bright future
Tonight I’m no bronze, I’m no silver,
You’ll be thinking damn I knew her
But you didn’t
Don’t get it twisted

Out of the ashes you buried me in,
I, I am golden
I, I am golden

You tried so hard to break me down
Like a fire-breathing dragon,
But I guess I took your crown

You pushed for me to change for you
But I’m so glad that I stayed true to who I am
Burn, burn, burn
They used to yell
You thought I was coal
My friend, I’m gold, can’t you tell?
Cause I’m not weak, I’m not broken
I am bold
And the fire you put me through turned me into gold

I’m not done, I’m no loser
Watch me take on my bright future
Tonight I’m no bronze, I’m no silver
You’ll be thinking damn I knew her
But you didn’t
Don’t get it twisted

Out of the ashes, you buried me in
I, I am golden
I, I am golden

The fire that you tried to burn me with
It made me who I am
All the things you said I couldn’t do
Guess what, yes I can

The fire that you tried to burn me with
It made me who I am
All the things you said I couldn’t do
Guess what, yes I can

Cause I’m not weak, I’m not broken
I am bold
And the fire you put me through turned me into gold
I’m not done, I’m no loser
Watch me take on my bright future
Tonight I’m no bronze, I’m no silver
You’ll be thinking damn I knew her
But you didn’t
Don’t get it twisted

Out of the ashes, you buried me in
I, I am golden
I, I am golden
Golden, gold
I, I am golden, golden, golden.

Golden is one of my favorite songs that inspires me in so many ways.  It makes me think of my book which is about how I survived and coped through my separation and divorce in a positive way while trying to work as a single mother, pick up all the pieces and wear a smile through it all while dying inside.  I didn’t let this control me, I took control myself.

The book release date is March 2017 at this point and I will keep you posted as it gets closer.  This book is for anyone who’s had to live through heartbreak but came out golden because of it.  Don’t let someone push you around, you’re worth way more than that type of treatment and deserve real love.  Sometimes we don’t realize our courage, strength, and resilience until we’re in it and I think we’re all much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

You deserve a pat on the back and so much more…

Much love and gratitude to you 🙂

Jen
xo

Finding Joy

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How do you find joy in your everyday life?  What are you passionate about or what lights you up from the inside out?

For me, joy is the result of practicing daily gratitude because when you focus on what you have, it changes your perspective and creates joy from within.  Joy is what gets you through difficult times, it turns on a light when you’re in the dark, it heals wounds and can make your soul sing.  Joy is contagious and can spread like wildfire if you allow it, we’re all connected so it’s better to spread positive vibes and emotions that lead us in the right direction.

In today’s busy world, stress and anxiety are topping the charts of workplace absence and prescription medications.  It’s not overly surprising because the faster the world turns, the faster we run and when we’re running, we’re not paying attention to what’s around us.  It’s only when we slow down to catch our breath and notice the little things in the moment; that’s when we are able to find our joy.

Here are a few ways you can begin the search for joy in your everyday life.

  1. Play with children. They are innocent creatures who love to laugh and goof around
  2. Let your inner child out too. Just like the picture above, we all have that little girl or boy inside of us, waiting to get out again so get silly and let loose
  3. Learn something new such as a language, recipe, or sport
  4. Explore nature. It is the most beautiful and imperfect thing on earth
  5. Travel somewhere new and exciting. Do this solo or with someone you like
  6. Surround yourself with animals. They have the most unconditional love to share with you
  7. Be romantic. This allows you to use your creativity and can find joy in two places at once
  8. Spread random acts of kindness to strangers. The appreciation they feel will come back to you tenfold
  9. Play a musical instrument or put some music on. This is soul food and can be very healing
  10. Sing a song no matter what your voice sounds like. Remember that inner child?
  11. Read a great book or see a movie you’ve been waiting for
  12. Helping others creates huge amounts of joy from within
  13. Wake up those endorphins in your body because they will definitely make you feel better
  14. Meditate or practice mindfulness. Enjoy the silence for a change
  15. Write something, anything. Keep it private or make it public it’s your choice but keep it positive and inspiring
  16. Dance in the rain and get soaked. If this doesn’t make you feel like a kid, I don’t know what will
  17. Be like a cat and take a nap. Time to feel rejuvenated again
  18. Watch a sunrise or sunset. Not only is it live entertainment, it’s free and it’s beautiful
  19. Take a hot bath or get a massage
  20. Eat your favorite desserts like cupcakes or something with chocolate
  21. Spend quality time with friends and laugh so much it hurts

Sometimes the best way to find joy is to surrender to what is.  By surrendering, you are opening your heart and mind to the infinite possibilities of what life can offer you.  It’s not about giving up, it’s about letting go, and the benefit to letting go is finding joy.

 

Much Love ❤

Jen

 

Quote Challenge – Day 2

Hi Everyone!  I’m really excited about being nominated for another quote challenge and this time it’s by a very young, sweet blogger from England named Molly.  Her writings are not only entertaining but also based on real life topics and she’s also a great photographer.  I really liked her post 50 things to know about me.  She has a lot in common with many of you because she’s a Game of Thrones fan, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fan and Harry Potter enthusiast!  It’s a joy to read her writings please check out her site.

For today’s quote, I am dedicating this story to a very special WordPress friend of mine in India who has just gone through a very difficult and stressful time with her mom being sick.  Unfortunately, her mom lost the battle but not without a serious fight, not without unbreakable support and not without undying love.  Dealing with dying forces us to look at our own life review and to understand what it means to face death and embrace living.  For those of us who are left behind we can call on our own support systems and wisdom to promote our own healing.  When we are strong in numbers, we become unbreakable.  Bhavya Mishra, this one’s for you honey ❤

 

One Stick, Two Stick:  The Way of the Old African Kings

An old man is dying.  He calls his people to his side.  He gives a short, sturdy stick to each of his many offspring, wives and relatives.  “Break the stick,” he instructs them.  With some effort, they all snap their sticks in half.

“This is how it is when a soul is alone and without anyone.  They can be easily broken.”

The old man next gives each of his kin another stick, and says, “This is how I would like you to live after I pass.  Tie your sticks together in bundles of twos and threes.”  He waits quietly as his family ties the sticks together.  There are many bundles some of two sticks some of three sticks.  “Now break these bundles in half.”

No one can break the sticks when there are two or more in a bundle.  The old man smiles.  “We are strong when we stand with another soul.  When we are with others, we cannot be broken.”

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Bhavya, all my sympathies to you and your family my love, please know you are not alone in your grieving and that we are forming bundles with you always ❤

 

So Much Love and Peace To You,

Jen
xo

Finding the Fun Factor

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I’m so happy 2015 is coming to an end.  This year has been an emotional roller coaster ride in more ways than one and through it all, I had to find ways of having fun in order to cope with it like writing, Zumba and Yoga just to name a few.   Things got better as 2015 rolled on and now I’m ending it on a high note.  Yay!  🙂

Out of all the aspects in our lives, fun is often the one thing that’s put on the back burner for some reason.  Things like work, sports, education, family, friends, health and even spirituality are taken so seriously to the point where fun has no entry point.  Now where’s the fun in that?  There’s always room for fun and taking things a little lighter.  Life can be hard and heavy sometimes which only adds more stress to it all.

This Christmas I am challenging myself and all of you to find your fun factor.  What thrills you?  If you have snow where you are, build a fort and get a snowball fight going just like Buddy the Elf in this image!  If you are in a warm climate (lucky you…) then head to the beach and jump in the waves like a dolphin!   Whatever it is that you love doing for fun, do it as much as possible during the holidays.  Then try to see your difficult situation through a humorous lens instead of a serious one and see how much lighter you feel with a new perspective on it.  If you can laugh at it….you got it.  It no longer has you.

Dare to be different.

This January I am going to India to see some of my amazing blogging friends and I can’t wait to get there!  Seeing everyone will be so much fun and it will open my world to a whole new culture and perspective which will be inspiring and life changing.  Doesn’t this sound like fun?!  Looks like 2016 will be starting off in a really fun way.

The main message I would like to send is this; you all have the power within you to solve any problem you have.  It’s not your first rodeo dealing with problems.  You got through the last one so what tools did you use to make it through to the other side?  These same tools can be used again in your current situation but maybe in a different way now.  You just need to have an open mind and an open heart to stay solution focused and not problem focused.  Have some fun with it.

If you can see light in your darkness, love in your fear, the heaven in your hell, the silver lining in your cloud then you are off to the races my friends.  This is the perspective you need to focus on in order to move forward with any situation because what you focus your attention on, you get more of it.  Therefore, let your focus always be positive while dealing with the negative.  All the messy dirty work is happening in the negative but you need balance while doing that and that’s where a positive focus comes in.

I would like to thank everyone who is following me, liking my stuff, commenting and encouraging me, you guys are so amazing and because of you I get inspired!  I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a bright Happy New Year for 2016.  And remember, we’re all in this together, we’re connected and on the same journey which is to find love, peace and happiness in life.  Let’s keep supporting one another and in the meantime, get out there and find your fun factor!

Keep smiling and keep writing!  🙂

Life is good…

Big Hugs and Love,

Jen
xoxoxo

Self-Compassion vs. Self-Esteem

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I have a question for you.

Do you think it’s better to have high self-esteem or be more self-compassionate?

For years high self-esteem was seen as the ultimate marker of wellbeing, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  However, high self-esteem is an external global evaluation of your self-worth and potential problems with high self-esteem are not if you have it, but how you get it.

Author Kristin Neff PhD of “Self-Compassion, Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind” explains the differences, common confusions and benefits between the two concepts beautifully.

In order to have high self-esteem there is a need to feel special and above average. Nobody wants to hear they are average at something they do. I’m sure if somebody told you that you are an average worker, you would be hurt. This is completely normal I would not want to hear that I am an average nurse either. However, if everyone has to feel special and above average at the same time, that doesn’t work because somebody has to fall down so that someone can move up the high self-esteem ladder.  It’s the need to feel better than others and people achieve this by social comparison, narcissism, bullying and prejudice. Having a healthy high self-esteem is good but the problem is when it becomes contingent on your own self-worth which can lead to inevitable feelings of inadequacy and depression.

Self-compassion on the other hand, is within you all the time so when self-esteem deserts you, self-compassion is always there to catch you.  Compassion is relational therefore self-compassion is how we relate to ourselves and we need to do this in a kinder way.

For example, self-criticism is self-compassion’s arch enemy and here’s how our minds play out when something bad happens; “How could I be so stupid liking him/her, I knew I should not have pursued but I did anyway and failed miserably, way to go.  I’m so alone nobody has ever felt like this before, I’m sure I’m the only person on this planet who’s ever made such a big mistake like this.  I can’t believe how sad and angry I feel right now with myself.  I’m never falling in love ever again.”

Sound familiar?  Does this type of talk motivate you?  Not really.  We would never talk to our friend this way if they were suffering so why do we do it to ourselves?  How do we end the madness?

Self-Compassion.

*Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment: talk to yourself with care and understanding like you would treat a good friend rather than with harsh judgment.  Change your internal dialogue into something positive.

*Common Humanity vs. Isolation: see your own experience as part of a larger human experience not isolating or abnormal. Recognizing that life is not perfect and neither are we.

*Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification: allows us to be with painful feelings and emotions as they are. Avoid extremes of suppressing or running away from these painful feelings. Sometimes you just need to get out of your own way and let self-compassion take over and heal you from the inside out.

Let’s take the previous example and change the inner dialogue from self-critical to self-compassionate.  “It’s okay things didn’t work out for you and him/her.  Life is full of uncertainty and you are a kind hearted person who deserves someone better.  I know it’s hard right now but this is a good time to take care of you.  Everyone goes through something similar when it comes to love and heartbreak, you’re definitely not alone and nobody’s perfect.  We all have our own stories to tell.  Feeling sad or angry is good because it means you are dealing with the grief and you will recover faster.  Let these emotions come and then let them go.  They don’t define you you’re bigger than they are.  Believe in love again and let things unfold as they should, you’re going to be just fine.”

Doesn’t this sound more comforting and motivating?  This is how we would comfort a friend, we deserve the same treatment too.

Common confusions with self-compassion are beliefs that it is weak, complacent and passive when in fact it can be a strong, powerful force for change in an emotionally supportive environment.  Other confusions are that self-compassion is self-indulgent but what it really wants is long term health not short term pleasure.  There’s the belief that self-compassion will undermine motivation, however most people believe self-criticism is an effective motivator but motivation with self-criticism comes from the fear of being worthless.  On the other hand, motivation with self-compassion comes from the desire for health and well-being.

Self-compassion offers the same benefits as self-esteem but without the pitfalls.  You will have fewer social comparisons, have more stability in your self-worth and not be associated with narcissism.

Furthermore, self-compassion is linked to motivation in the sense where people have a greater desire to learn and grow, try again when they fail, healthy living behaviors, effective coping and resilience skills, have caring relationships with others, able to forgive and have empathy, take greater responsibility for their mistakes and the ability to apologize.

Self-compassion helps to reduce anxiety, depression, stress, rumination, perfectionism, shame and a negative self-body image.  On the other side of the coin, it increases life satisfaction, happiness, connectedness, love, self-confidence, optimism, emotional resilience, curiosity and gratitude.

Therefore, when you make mistakes or fall short of your expectations, you can throw away that rawhide whip and instead throw a cozy blanket of compassion around your shoulders.  You will be more motivated to learn, grow and make the much-needed changes in your life, while having more clarity to see where you are now and where you would like to go next.  You’ll have the security needed to go after what you really want as well as the support and encouragement necessary to fulfill your dreams.

To answer my own question, I choose self-compassion because it’s available to me 24/7 and can lead to a healthier high self-esteem.

What about you?

Much Love,

Jen
xo

 

 

What I Know For Sure…Now: A Letter To My 21-Year-Old-Self

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Okay seriously, life is full of lessons whether you want to learn from them or not.  When you do learn, you expand your personal growth and development and make necessary changes so they don’t happen again.  If you don’t learn the life lessons, they will keep happening over and over until you do.  They won’t go away on their own.  That’s just the way it is…sigh.

No matter what age you are, something happened to you that affected your life and how you reacted to it changed you.  It didn’t kill you, it made you stronger.   But what if you could have a conversation with your younger self and give advice that would save you time and grief or give you confidence and perseverance in various areas of your life?  I know I’ve thought about this and I’d like to share what I know for sure… now.

Dear Jen,

You are 21 years young now and are studying very hard to become a nurse.  You have chosen a career path that is helpful and compassionate which aligns with who you are and your core values in life. Yes studying is hard, working in the hospital is hard but never give up because you are on the right path; you’ve got this.  Know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours, this is the beauty in nursing.

What if I told you when you graduate you will move to another country to work and travel?  Not just once but twice. Nursing can open many doors for you and later on there is another big opportunity coming up that you cannot say no to, in Qatar.

Don’t always expect to be acknowledged and appreciated for all the hard work you do, people are tired and busy in their own worlds but in your heart, just know you are doing your best and in the end, you will be rewarded by Him.  Know your own self-worth because if you think you are cheap, people will see and treat you as cheap. Try not to control every outcome, just relax and enjoy the ride because you have so much ahead of you, a world of experiences that will blow your mind!

Life Coaching is in your future which is another beautiful helping profession and by walking this path, you learn so much about yourself in the process and it’s an automatic win-win for you and your clients. You will be so inspired, you will really love this but it takes work to get it going.  Don’t give up.

Relationships are complicated but a very big part of your life Jen.  Friendships are to be treasured and respected by both sides otherwise, it’s not worth it.  Everywhere you go, you will meet new friends and connect well with them for life because of who you are.  You have many amazing friends who inspire you so hang on tight they are your rocks during your toughest moments.   Don’t forget to be there for them too and love them with all your heart.  Sadly, one of your closest friends will be diagnosed with cancer and cannot beat it.  However, having known her, changes your perspective on life for the better because you learn to appreciate the little things, slow down and look within yourself for answers to life’s complicated questions.  You have all the solutions inside you, just dig deep because they’re all there.  You feel a deep sense of gratitude for having known her and you miss her.

Family is another important part of your life and you need to show your appreciation for everything they do for you.  Nobody’s perfect and everyone is doing the best they can, just like you Jen.  Perfection is a dangerous thing and not even possible so let it go.  Imperfections are what make people beautiful including you.  It all depends on your perspective, try to look at them as your gifts.  Your entire family loves you unconditionally, you love them too and you get along with everyone.

Ah, romance, romance.  You have met some really nice guys that showed interest in you so far and you have been interested in some of them.   But Jen, you need to have more self-confidence you need to love yourself more.  Learn how to be assertive and stand up to the ones who don’t treat you right and hold hands with the ones who do.  Don’t get blindsided by flattery, take it for what it is which is sweet.  Not every guy will understand your kind heart but that’s ok, it’s not your job to convince him of it.  Never let the good guy get away, easier said than done.  Romantic involvement is complex and fleeting.  Don’t settle for someone, make sure your man adores you, protects you, makes time for you, has the same values as you, has your back on everything and knows how to use a hammer!  This will save you a ton of frustration…

What you really want is someone who makes you smile, is proud of you, supports you and inspires you, is emotionally there for you and treats you like his queen.  Not a man who drains you or takes advantage of your good nature or abandons you.  He will love you with his whole heart by making you his number one priority and not let his external environment control how he feels or acts around you.

He must know his own core values and who he truly is on the inside otherwise he is a chameleon adjusting to every external environment, not a man.

If you are looking for a chameleon, go to Costa Rica.

Make sure he never interrupts you or puts you down in front of other people; he should be singing your praises instead.  You are a fine catch young lady and never forget that!  😉

You put everyone’s needs ahead of your own and deep down, you want your needs met too and why not?  People pleasing and putting yourself last is killing you without you even realizing it.  You need to take better care of yourself so you have the ability to take care of others.  Everywhere you go you are a caretaker.  Learn to set some boundaries for yourself otherwise people will walk all over you as if you were a doormat.  “No” is a complete sentence, remember that my love.  And whatever you do, don’t let the opinions of others influence you to the point of doing nothing.  You’re better than that.

Be very mindful of selfish people and narcissists in your life.  They are your biggest threat because they give subtle red flags and are very good at charming you.  Take off those rose colored glasses so you can actually see the color red.  They are only interested in themselves so don’t kid yourself into thinking they have something to offer you.  They are takers and you are a giver so you are vulnerable in this situation.  Be very, very careful.

I know you can’t see it now but your heart of gold will fall in love with one man and two children over the years.  Unfortunately heartbreak is in your future but this tragedy has its silver lining.  You experience two sides of the same coin but you are a trooper, a real warrior.  Facing these various betrayals are the biggest stressors you will go through but it’s not what happens to us in life that determines who we are, it’s how we cope and react to it that counts and you have excellent coping skills.  Like grace under fire. You are not a victim so don’t play that role, ever.  You might feel like you are all alone in this but you’re not.  You are stronger than you realize and you have God in your corner.  This is a time for self-compassion and practicing self-care, finally.  You have put this off long enough Jen so time to pay attention to yourself.  It’s self-discovery time.  Be a good example for your kids because they are always watching and taking notes.  Learn the lessons here and don’t worry so much, everything is going to be okay.

You really need a vacation, you should plan one.

Writing blogs for you is a positive emotional outlet and an incredibly important way of dealing with stress because getting your emotions out on paper or a screen is cathartic.  A wonderful healing tool for all.  Not only are you helping yourself but also helping others by letting them know we are all in this together, nobody is alone.  An amazing world of bloggers is out there and each person has something beautiful to offer, appreciate each and every one of them from your heart because they are probably fighting a battle of their own you know nothing about.  You learn to write your way out of this betrayal and when writing the story of your life Jen, don’t let anyone else hold the pen, own it.  You get to write your own ending.  On the other side of this fear is freedom so hang in there, you’re doing great.  You are finding your inner voice and are finally starting to use it.  Better late than never girl!

Exercise has always been a priority in your life but during this time you must keep moving more than ever.  The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits are endless.  Exercise helps to get the negative energy out, clear your mind, release those endorphins and make you feel empowered again.  You meet more friends along the way who support you and you can’t imagine your life without them because they are just so fun to be with!  You learn new activities like Zumba and PiYo which you even become addicted to!

As you make your way through the pain with your kids, your vision becomes clearer and you slowly get your strength back, thanks to your family and friends here and all around the world.  Connection has empowered you to stand up for what you believe in and fight for your rights my little warrior.  You are getting to know and love yourself more and more each and every day, the butterfly is emerging.  One of the greatest lessons you can learn is to practice gratitude, forgiveness and surrender.  These are the silver linings in the dark clouds.  You will make it to the other side Jen, you are almost there so don’t give up now.  Music and lyrics inspire you and give you energy.  There’s one song that’s about standing for something and getting stronger which is exactly what you need right now.  You need to stand for you.  Share this song with your amazing friends and in the meantime…ROAR!

To be continued in another 20 years….

And this is what I know for sure….now.

Love,

Jen
xo

Light A Candle Instead Of Cursing The Darkness

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We are all victims of circumstance but we have a choice of remaining in victim mode or stepping out of it and living our life.  Sometimes we can see trouble coming and other times it catches us right off guard sending us into a downward spiral but either way, we need to decide if we want to be happy or not.  Initially, it’s natural to feel great disappointment, hurt and grief but it’s not healthy to live there permanently.

Things happen, I’ve seen trouble coming and it has also knocked me off my feet, leaving my head swirling and my heart broken.  However, I cannot and will not let that define me.  When I read this quote, it was like I heard music and corks popping out of champagne bottles!

 To me, darkness represents being deeply disappointed, the hard times, handling tough emotions, the struggle, the pain and even change.  Everyone defines it differently depending on what they’re going through.  When you think about it, if you try to navigate through the dark without any light, it’s very difficult to see where you’re going or what is right in front of you.  You might bump into things, trip over something or even worse, stub your toe which only causes more pain.  The other thing about darkness is that it seems to hide us well.  Maybe people like the dark for that reason alone.  They don’t want any help so they don’t want to be seen.  The question comes when that same person endlessly criticizes or complains about their situation but doesn’t do anything to make it better; cursing the darkness.  Or maybe they just want to be found by someone, be seen, heard and understood.   After all, we all crave connection.

The simple act of shedding some light on the subject can change the entire space where darkness lives.  You can see what and who is around you, what is ahead of you and that feeling of being on edge is less.  It’s a more comforting, positive response, a new perspective.  Igniting a spark inside you is an action step in moving forward because you are no longer thinking about making it better or wishing for it, you are making the effort and doing it.  Lighting a candle could mean reading positive daily affirmations, finding activities that bring you joy and doing them as much as possible, practicing gratitude even in the dark moment, trying to find the hidden life lesson inside your situation or reaching out to your support system to help you and accepting their help.  It can also mean stop denying and start feeling the pain because the only way out of it is through it.  When you decide to do this, your mind shifts from controlling to allowing and your body shifts from stress to peace.  It doesn’t magically disappear but it certainly becomes more manageable.  Having an open mind and an open heart changes a negative into a positive with an intention to do so.  Darkness is a wonderful teacher that helps us grow through personal development because without darkness there can’t be light.

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All of our life’s tragedies big or small have their time and space for darkness.  Just keep in mind that at some point, you will need to turn on a light to be able to see clearly instead of wishing it wasn’t so dark.  It’s time to live in the joy zone.

Much love,

Jennifer Juneau

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Lights In Your Tunnel

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We like to search for those final happy destinations in life.  You know, the ones that will finally make us feel relieved and satisfied.  We work so hard on a project, exams, a relationship, or our health while focusing on the end result which is that light at the end of the tunnel.  Or perhaps it’s a separation or divorce that turns your world upside down.  The truth is, we crave that light, it’s all we can think about to help motivate us to move forward because in our minds we believe the moment  we can see that light, the difficult situation will end.  You say “When all this is over I can finally relax and be happy.”

Is that really true?  Maybe…to an extent.

Is it possible to be happy right now while you are in that long, dark tunnel?  Tunnels are scary, cold, intimidating places.  You are probably wondering how can one be happy in such a depressing place?  Sometimes we miss the boat by going in alone and limiting our vision on the end result when we could be using some light and support to navigate that tunnel.

Little moments in life are worth celebrating just as much as the big ones.  By having something to look forward to like meeting a friend for coffee, scheduling a Skype call from someone who is important to you, reading uplifting blogs that give your life meaning, planning a mini vacation or just eating your favourite food with your kids all represent little pot lights in your tunnel.  Each friend, family member or supportive person is worth a light in your tunnel.  The more positive people and moments you have creates more support in your situation.  And the brighter your environment is, the more tolerable and comfortable the situation will be, therefore you will begin to feel happier and even more relaxed.  You need these lights to help you cope better.  It’s time to celebrate coping better because you are doing the best you can and every action step counts.

If something really great happens to you that represents a chandelier!  It’s time to celebrate again.

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Be grateful for everything you have and see how many colored lights appear.  By shifting your perspective, the tunnel is now an illuminating space that transformed from unpleasant to beautiful.   Light replaces darkness the same way love replaces fear.

If you are going through a difficult time right now, don’t wait until it’s over to celebrate all your milestones you are achieving along the way.  You could be waiting months or years before you see that light at the end of the tunnel.  Why would you want to deprive yourself that way?  Do it now because you’re worth it.

Take comfort along the way by always having something to look forward to with the people who care for you.  Those who you know well and those whom you’ve never met before but seem to cause a positive ripple effect in your life.  Notice the happy little surprises that pop up.  These are your lights that will decorate your life and lead you out of the tunnel because you have the right to be happy now.

Celebrating a win doesn’t mean you need to do something outrageous or expensive, just be kind to yourself.   If that seems difficult, ask yourself “What would I buy my 10 year old self right now that would make me happy?” or “What have I wanted to do but have been putting it off?”   Maybe the answers to both questions are chocolate and a massage?

Sounds good to me…that’s a win-win.

Much love,

Jennifer

P.S….All my gratitude to the lights and chandeliers in my tunnel. You are amazing!