These Times They Are A Changin’

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Some of the major benefits of living in Canada are the changes in season.  Like many fellow Canadians, the weather is on our minds 24/7 and we talk about it any chance we can get, like standing in the elevator with strangers, talking to our neighbors, or even at the grocery checkout while stocking up on pop and Doritos.

What I have come to realize is that our spiritual connection to Mother Nature is linked to many of life’s answers right in our own backyard.  The four seasons in Canada are different but temporary, just like our emotions or life situations.  They happen whether we want them to or not and every year they can seem easier or more difficult, it depends on your perspective.  How we react to them is what counts.  Even the cold or rainy season eventually comes to an end and that’s when warm sunny days are here again.  The opposite is also true.

Nothing lasts forever; everything is temporary.

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You would think that with all this change and adjustment to change, we would be pretty darn good at it by now, but are we?  Why is it that we resist change so much when it could be viewed as something beautiful with many possibilities and opportunities instead?  Fear of the unknown is very controlling and can make our imagination run wild with unrealistic thoughts and beliefs that we end up standing in our own way.  Even worse if we make decisions based on imaginary thoughts without the facts, that’s just careless.

We create our own roadblocks.

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I for one, am not a fan of winter and every October when I see the beautiful colored maple leaves falling from the trees, I know the snow is right around the corner in November and can last for 6 months onward.  Instead of complaining about it, I need to see the opportunities it can bring like going cross-country skiing, snowshoeing or sipping something interesting beside a warm cozy fire.  Winter in itself is another spiritual connection because, after a difficult snowstorm, things look beautiful again because change has taken place.  It’s another reminder for me to go with the flow…in the snow.

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Being grateful for what I have has changed my perspective on life quite a bit.  Even though I lost so much through a divorce, I believe it has made me a better person in the end because I took my own responsibilities and made the necessary changes that were in dire need to be changed, for me and my kids.  This is not an easy process nor am I finished with it yet but I am focusing my attention on what I have so I can have more of it.  I am liking this changing game because I’m growing and learning more about myself.

There’s no point in resisting change because let’s face it, no matter what, these times they are a-changin’

Much Love and Happy Thanksgiving,

Jen ❤

**All photos are my own taken in the Ottawa/Gatineau region of Canada.

PS:  Thank you to everyone for all your support with my book Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak.  Things are going very well!   I really enjoyed the book launch, book signings, interaction with people and their book reviews!  If you are interested in leaving a review, please feel free to comment here or send me an email at jgreenwinningwhilelosing@gmail.com

I will add it to my website or you can also write a review at Goodreads or the online bookstore where you purchased it.  Copies are available at all online bookstores worldwide.

If you missed the TV episode of my interview on How To Heal From Divorce, you can watch it on the Facebook page Rogers tv Ottawa, Cable 22.  We are a group of women discussing healing and coping techniques so people don’t feel so alone.

All my gratitude to you,

Dare to live courageously…

 

 

 

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Go With The Flow

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Have you ever tried to control a situation where you don’t have any control?  Did it feel good?  Did you succeed?  What I’ve learned is the harder I try to control a situation like this, the more exhausted I feel and I lose in more ways than one.  People tend to say “go with the flow” but what does that really mean?

I’m writing this blog on the shoreline of my favorite beach.

I’m watching the whitecap waves ascending and descending, just like my emotions on my tough days or tough moments that still appear out of nowhere.

My hot tears hit the hot sand and I realize they are made of water that also flows, sometimes uncontrollably.  I’m grateful I’m wearing sunglasses.

Water has become a very significant symbol in my life that represents emotion, flow, life, surrendering and letting go.  It’s about being in the moment, following the pull, not the push.

Imagine you are standing in a river and walking against the current.  Water is pushing you around, and you are forcing the water in return.  You realize you are resisting and walking in the wrong direction which is difficult. Everything feels heavy.

Now imagine turning around, where one small shift changes everything.  The river current is pulling you in the right direction, you are no longer fighting it and you are even letting go while being in the moment.  It carries you and you are going with the flow.  The current catches you, and you feel so much lighter and relaxed.

Does this mean you are a prisoner to the water and have no choice as to where you are going?

Not at all.

You can turn left, right, go straight or even take a break if you want to.  Just keep going in the right direction and let go a little bit so the current can carry you and have some fun with it.  Look down and see how clear that water is?  What else do you see and notice?  How does it feel to be so free?

Recently, I realized I need to go with the flow more in certain areas of my life.  Lower my expectations, don’t try to control the outcome, live in the moment and enjoy it.  One of my close friends Judith who is a life coach and a great one I might add, asked me if there was ever a time where I did something big in my life, was vulnerable, felt like I was going with the flow, didn’t attach an outcome to it and did it anyway?  Guess what I answered….”Yes, when I wrote my book.  I had no idea how it would turn out, I just did it, enjoyed the process and hoped people would like it.”

Bingo.

It’s the same in other areas of life where it’s important to trust in the process, go with the flow, and believe things will work out the way they are supposed to.  Stop fighting it and embrace it instead.  I admit I get my hopes up very high, very fast and trying to bring myself down to a low starting level is very hard.  But what’s even harder is living with constant disappointment that things didn’t go the way I expected them to.  Especially when it comes to relationships.

That’s where the waves come into play.  The highs and lows are so unpredictable and can carry you away into good and not so good times; just like love, emotions, and life.  Rather than crashing into the waves, ride them instead, it’s okay. It’s unrealistic to think you need to be happy all the time so when sadness or anger comes along, think of it as a wave and ride it out because it will pass and flatten out eventually.

As I sit here and look out at the turquoise water and watch these waves, I somehow feel at peace because of their sound washing against the shore, and how great they look rolling in, while the birds sing overhead. I see my kids playing in these waves, having a great time, going with the flow.  I now realize we are all connected to nature, and many of life’s answers are out there if we pay attention to them.

I am happy to say I’ve been making some progress in going with the flow and I still have work to do, but it feels much better, very freeing, and less stressful.  Dare I say…Fun??

Sometimes, yes.  I’m still learning.

How do you go with the flow?

 

Much Love ❤

Jen

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P.S:  I would like to thank you ALL for your support and love through the promotion of my book which is going very well.  For those who have read it and even took the time to review it, I am honored and so grateful.  On Saturday, September 9th, from Noon to 4 pm, I will be doing another book signing at Chapters Gloucester in the Ottawa area.  If you would like to stop by, say hi, and pick up a signed copy of “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” it would be great to see you!

Copies and different versions are available on all online bookstores worldwide.

Thank you all again, and dare to live courageously…

XOXO

Even The Caged Bird Sings

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I feel your pain and struggles.  I know what it’s like to be imprisoned in your own mind and heart.  Some days the walls are so high to climb, you just want to give up.  I’ve been there in that exact same spot and all I can say is that you need to let it all out.  Express yourself whatever way you know how to do it, but do it from your deepest core.  It’s the only way out where you can find some answers and freedom.

Whether you’re a bird in a cage that is physical, mental, or emotional, there’s always an escape route and that’s by expressing your pain through your creativity.  We are all artists and creative, some just choose to use it more than others.  Find out what fills you up from the inside out and do that as much as humanly possible.  When the caged bird sings, she’s asking for help, saying a prayer, crying her emotions out to the world.  Some days she’s singing because she’s happy and that’s what connects her to the world and when we feel connected, it feels pretty damn good, right?  It’s possible to find the positives within the negatives and feel free even though you are trapped inside your head.  Start by getting out of your own way, close your eyes, and look with your heart instead.  How do you want to feel?  Let that be your measuring stick and your guide.

Feeling stuck on how to be creative?  Here are some suggestions; sing, dance, make videos, write, draw, paint, sculpt, dramatic arts, play a musical instrument, photography, beauty techniques, hair design, fashion, cooking, baking, scrapbooking, interior decorating, renovating, party planning, building, sports, sewing, knitting, gardening, landscaping and the list goes on.  What did you like to do when you were in grade 3?  That’s always a good starting point.

From time to time life is going to make us feel lonely, disappointed, upset, confused, and trapped.  However, despite all that, we need to remember who we truly are and if we don’t know, it’s time we did, because that’s what will help us deal with these tough times and get us through to the other side.  Even when life seems to put up walls around us, it’s possible to live fulfilling lives by using our creativity so it can set us free.

That’s why even the caged bird sings.

Much Love ❤

Jen

 

**I would like to say many thanks, appreciation, and gratitude to everyone for reading my blogs and my new book “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak.”  It’s heartwarming to read all the feedback from you and to know it’s making a positive impact in the lives of others because that’s been my intention all along.  I have been and still am a caged bird at times but my writing allows me to express myself so I can heal, feel free, and move on with my life in a positive way ❤

If you would like to pick up a copy of my book, it’s available at all online bookstores worldwide, FriesenPress bookstore and in some physical bookstores such as; Michabou, Prospero Books, Caversham Booksellers, and Chapters Kanata.

On Saturday, August 12th, 2017, I will be hosting a book signing event for “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” at Chapters Kanata in Ottawa, from 11 am – 3 pm.  They are located in the Kanata Centrum Shopping Centre at 400 Earl Grey Drive, Kanata, Ontario K2T 1B9.  Signed paperback copies can be purchased for $20 +taxes.  Hope to see you there!

Many heartfelt thanks for all your love and support, dare to live courageously…

~ Jennifer Green
XO

New Release! It’s HERE!

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Hello, WordPress worldwide bloggers!  Guess what?!  It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…my book “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” is now available for purchase in hardcover, paperback, and ebook on my publisher’s online bookstore!  It is also available on all online bookstores worldwide but if you are interested in getting a copy from FriesenPress now, here is the link:

http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000036893179/Jennifer-Green-Winning-While-Losing

It’s been such a great journey writing this book and having it published, makes me so proud and happy!!  Cloud 9 is my permanent home now ❤

I have started various social media sites that I will share with you and expand on soon.  Please feel free to like and follow there for more updates.  I’m so grateful to have you here with me on my journey and if you do happen to read my book, I would love to hear your feedback 🙂

https://couragecoach.wordpress.com/my-blog/

https://www.facebook.com/wwltuh/

https://twitter.com/fjj_juneau

See you all there and let’s make this a positive place to be in this crazy life!

All my love and gratitude to you,

Jen ❤

Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak

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Well, it’s been over a year since I started this journey of writing my first book.  Never in a million years did I think this dream would be happening or right around the corner, but it’s getting much closer to being complete!

As it stands right now, my publisher at FriesenPress is putting the final copyright touches on my book and pretty soon, it will be available through their online bookstore and by June, it will be available on every online platform worldwide!!!

I can’t even control my excitement, having my book released will be something meaningful for me because I managed to turn on a light while being in the dark, I flipped the negatives into positives, and my main goals were to heal myself while helping others in return 🙂

I am sharing a piece of the book cover in the above photo and I would also like to share the Preface from my book with all of you, just to give you a taste of what’s to come, very, very soon.  I hope you like it and once the book is out, I will pass on all the links to where you can find it.  I am planning a book launch and once it is organized I will give you the details on that as well.

Thank you so very much for all your true love and support ❤

 

Preface

As I wrote my book, I was inspired while reading By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho.  Apparently, in his book, there is a legend where everything that falls into the waters of this river is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed.  When you write out your feelings, it is the pen that shoots flames onto paper and bleeds from your soul.  Once it is written, it is tossed into the cold water to extinguish those flames and take away your suffering.  All of my tears and pain could be let go of and washed away by performing this beautiful gesture in a river close to my home.  All I had to do was finish writing my book and head down to the riverbank which is exactly what I did on a cool October afternoon.   As a symbol and blessing to myself, I tossed a copy of my flaming and bleeding manuscript into the frigid waters to extinguish my lingering suffering and have it washed far away.  As tears rolled down my cold cheeks into the river, I saw the manuscript flow with the current, and I imagined it turning to stone sinking far from here, becoming another rock at the bottom of the riverbed.  In that very moment, I suddenly felt the chill in the air, I released everything and let go, and the bleeding in my heart finally stopped.

My name is Jennifer Green and this is my story of how I dealt with my separation and divorce and how I overcame adversity by self-reflection and found the silver linings in my crumbling life events.  It’s not a book of venting or blaming.  It’s about my journey to recovery, accepting my own responsibilities and how I kept a positive outlook and learned some life lessons while living through the most difficult time of my life.  For every chapter I have written in this book during 2016, I am including a blog I wrote on my website in real time with the real emotion of what I was going through in 2015 and 2016.  Therefore, these chapters are the real and personal stories behind the blogs I wrote, alongside my reflections now.

We all fall down in life and I admit I have fallen many times which is painful and hurts so much.  It’s normal to stay down for a while but eventually, you need to get back up and face reality.  This requires some action steps and commitment. But for some, this is where the rubber fails to hit the road.  They may know what they need to do but they can’t even begin to even try.  I know how hard that is because there were times I felt the same way, but I realized that by keeping an open mind and open heart I may fall again and what’s important is finding the strength to keep rising with an incredible support system.

If you’ve ever had a relationship end in a traumatic way and change your world or if you are in the middle of one right now, rest assured you are not alone, I can sympathize and empathize with you and I am by your side.

We can walk through this together.

Thank you so much for joining me on my journey and welcome to my world.

~Jennifer Green

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Saw You

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I saw you this morning as you walked by the reflection on the wall

I saw your hair was a little messed up but that’s normal for you these days

I saw you stop and gaze at me for a few seconds; expressionless

Just when you thought you could get by without noticing me

I saw you smiling back, even though sadness blankets you daily

I saw the creases at the outer corner of your eyes are getting a little deeper

I saw the two lines on your forehead for the first time in my life

Where did they come from?  Perhaps too much emotion

Happiness, sadness, anger or pain…

I saw the way you held back the tears when you heard songs on your playlist

I saw you cry yourself to sleep at night wondering how you would get through tomorrow

I saw you hiding, hoping nobody would find you

The guilt and shame was killing you one crack at a time

I saw you writing letters you would never send or publish for a soul to read

I saw you searching feverishly for quotes that lifted your spirit

Even if they only lifted you for a few minutes, it was all worth it

I saw you leaning on your kids who held you upright every day

I saw you praying hard for strength to carry on when you felt like giving up

I saw you being grateful that life was too short

 

I saw you crash.

 

Then, I saw you again….

About two years later, you looked different

This time, I saw you walk by your reflection and you stopped to notice me

I saw you practicing self-care, now it’s your turn

I saw your new hairdo, it really suits you

I saw your genuine smile return, red lipstick makes your smile even brighter

I saw you being proud of your fine lines and wrinkles, you earned every single one of them

I saw you singing and dancing as you exercised the stress away

I saw you sleeping like a baby; you finally look peaceful at night

I saw you traveling to near and far places, having a grand time with people

I saw your self-confidence return, this is so fantastic

I saw you preparing for your future, not just yours but also for your kids

I saw you write a book that comes directly from your gut, heart, and soul

One that can help others get through hell just like you did

I saw you sharing and posting quotes that inspired you and others

I saw you and your kids holding onto each other with full support all around

I saw your prayers being answered one by one, in mysterious ways nobody else knows

And witnessed the most beautiful spiritual transformation in my life

I saw you being grateful for being alive

I saw you rise…

And for everything you’ve been through

I’m so grateful I saw you…

 

Much Love ❤

Jen

 

**P.S:  BIG NEWS!  I am so excited and proud to announce that my book Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak, is due to be released in May 2017!  Just an FYI, I will be going by the author name of Jennifer Green, which is my maiden name and who I’ve been all along.  I will be posting little sneak peaks from my book until then and I would like to thank you ALL so much for your love, support, and undying patience with me.  Everything is going well with the publishing side of things and finally with me personally and professionally.   It’s been quite the journey and it’s not over yet, I’m so grateful to have all of you with me.

Lots of love to YOU!

XOXOXO