Don’t Fall Asleep At The Wheel

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After reading this title, you might think this blog is about your soon-to-be-16 year-old-son getting his driver’s license; but it’s not.

That’s another story.

Instead, this blog is about relationships and believe me, I’m not an expert in this field but I will speak from my experience and what I’ve learned, not only about love relationships but also about relationships we have with our friends and family, work and with ourselves.  The real expert in talking about relationships is my friend Andrea Syrtash who is a relationships author and columnist who has written for Oprah and Glamour magazine, and I give many credits to her for opening my eyes on this vital topic.

Andrea has taught me that the first question I should ask is “Does this person bring out my best?”  If the answer is no, then there is either work to be done or you need to re-evaluate whether it’s worth keeping in your life.  Not every relationship is forever and some are even toxic.  As situations change, people change along with them which is why a re-evaluation every now and then couldn’t hurt and should be done.

An example of a toxic relationship is being with someone who is submissive and enjoys putting you down, they are a control freak.  A toxic person will target your fears and feed on them whereas a loving person will sense your fears and try to soothe them.  In order for a toxic relationship to change and improve, the toxic person needs to realize they need to take their hands off the wheel and be nice by giving up control for awhile and letting someone else drive because they are not the only one on the road, nor are they the best driver either.

There is nothing worse than a backseat driver.

Relationships take a huge amount of effort on both sides to make them work, whether that’s with friends and family, work, love or ourselves.  Over time, it’s common to see people become lazy or complacent in their relationships and this is where it becomes dangerous because people stop paying attention, they get tired and eventually fall asleep at the wheel.  The other person ends up feeling left out and even at risk of being taken for a ride.  The end result  could either be a close call where something major wakes them up just in time, or it could end up being a car crash where everyone gets hurt and some may not survive.

Imagine if both sides are falling asleep at the wheel!  Let’s not even go there!

Out of all the relationship types listed here, the relationship with ourselves seems to suffer the most because we say we’re too busy to join the gym, no time to eat, other commitments come first and so on.  In order for the other relationships to work well, this is the one relationship that should be tended to first because when you feel good, you want to be good and do good.  All of your relationships benefit from the fact that you are taking care of yourself and are paying attention to how you feel so that you have the energy and desire to feed the others.

So how do we stay awake and motivated in all our relationships?  Coffee is always good and some prefer Red Bull but what you really need is to ask that important question from time to time “Does this person bring out my best?”  This also includes you, do you bring out your best?  Learn to appreciate, nurture and care, take an honest look to see if it’s time to adjust your speed, to hold on or let go of the wheel.  Pay attention to details because you don’t want to miss anything, or run somebody over.  Keep your eyes on the road, and whatever you do, don’t fall asleep at the wheel.

You could risk losing everything 😉

 

Much Love ❤

 

Jen
xo

 

 

 

 

Life Story Project: We Are All Living Our Own Project

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Inspiration can be found in so many corners of our lives and one of my favorite places that really touched my heart was on the television show Life Story Project.  The show was aired on “OWN:  The Oprah Winfrey Network” and then unfortunately was cancelled due to network issues.  Andrea Syrtash and Dale Curd were the two hosts on Life Story Project and when I saw it was discontinued last year, I decided to write to Andrea to express my love for the show and for her compassionate way of exploring and questioning people’s hearts and lives on the streets of Toronto, Ontario, Canada about real life topics.  Andrea quickly responded to me and we connected instantly bringing us to a new found friendship where inspiration and support continues to live on.

Life Story Project is about people’s stories and how connection, courage and vulnerability bring us inspiration and promotes personal growth and development within ourselves.  This 4 minute sizzle reel video clip of Life Story Project perfectly describes what the show was all about and I cannot describe it any better than Andrea and Dale.  It’s actually something to be felt.  After watching the video, please read the interview I was able to have with Andrea where we dig deeper into the details of the show and how inspiration touched her heart and life as well.

JJ:  “Can you briefly describe the inspiration behind your show Life Story Project?”

AS:  “I was cast to co-host the show and didn’t create it; but my understanding is that the creators (Mitch and Dale) were inspired by the fact that everybody has a story and that we don’t generally take the time to find out about peoples’ experiences. Intimate conversations about life-changing moments took place on a couch placed in the middle of busy parts of the city. This was to remind the audience that life is happening all around us and everybody is experiencing something significant.”

JJ:  “What was it like calling out to people to come and sit on the famous purple couch and have a conversation?”

AS:  “I’m an extrovert, so it’s not tough for me to engage people in conversation! I did wonder if they’d be open to having an intimate conversation with the cameras rolling; but I think the fact that “OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network” was on our sign and the consent forms helped. Even if people didn’t immediately trust me or my co-host; I think they trusted her and her brand. My co-host and I got rejected a fair bit but I was still surprised that so many people agreed to be interviewed by us and were so open and honest during the recorded conversation.”

JJ:  “How did you choose your life topics to talk about?”

AS:  “Every episode had a contrasting theme (Triumph & Failure, First Moments and Last Moments, Love & Regret etc). The creators wanted to pick themes we all have running through our lives and show the highs and the lows.”

JJ:  “So many inspiring stories were told on your show by the people on the streets of Toronto, you must have felt that inspiration the same as your viewers did like myself.  What was it like hearing people be so emotionally vulnerable?”

AS:  “Hosting the show was uplifting, inspiring, draining and eye-opening. Viewers saw a small percentage of all the interviews I conducted over the 4-6-week shoot. We generally shot for over 8 hours in the blazing sun and sat down with each guest for anywhere from 10-45 minutes. The stories were incredible and I was in awe of how open, honest, vulnerable and real the people I spoke with were. They were wise and articulate and their experiences had a deep effect on me. I often found it tough to sleep after a full day of shooting as I’d review some of the extraordinary stories I heard! Many stuck with me and I still think of them today…”

JJ:  “Was there ever a strange incident that happened when you were trying to recruit people to sit on the couch and talk with you?”

AS:  “We decided that we never wanted to convince people to share something that they weren’t comfortable freely sharing. Both my co-host and I have this thing where people easily open up to us and we feel fortunate that people trust us this way; but sometimes we sensed that people shared more than they wanted to! I recall one incident in which a guest mentioned a very personal experience that she had never told anyone and I felt discomfort as she was describing it because I could tell she was uncomfortable. She returned to the set later that day and asked that we wouldn’t air her story. Of course we were happy to oblige. We didn’t want any participant to regret coming onto the couch for an interview…”

JJ:  “If you had to pick one inspiring story that you heard, which one would it be?”

AS:  “There were so so many inspiring stories. I think about a guest who was deaf and her parents didn’t teach her sign language so she had no way to communicate until she was about 4 years old. She talked about having a voice and not taking it for granted…which was pretty incredible to hear from someone who can’t hear herself speak out loud.  I think about the firefighter who almost died in a blaze (intentionally taking off his oxygen mask) because he felt like a failure and how now he teaches other men in service to be vulnerable heroes. I think about the woman who loved her husband so much that their code word for ‘I love you’ was ‘oodles’ and how after he tragically died of cancer in his 30s, she found a letter from him that said he wanted her to find someone who loved her half as much as he did. Honestly, there were moments of inspiration in every interview. It’s tough to pick one!”

JJ:  “What day of the week did you tape your show and how many hours did it take?”

AS:  “We taped the show every day of the week (as far as I recall)! I had days off since my co-host and I alternated days. The weekend interviews had a different pace than the weekday interviews since people are generally in a different head space during the busy work week…”

JJ:  “What were some of the Toronto locations you chose to film your show in?”

AS:  “The show was filmed all over the city in locations like The Beaches, Dundas Square, King Street West, The Distillery District, Centre Island and more…”

JJ:  “I am very sad that Life Story Project is no longer on the air, as are many fans.  Where they can go now to watch some clips?”

AS:  “I’m sad about it, too! I’ve heard that occasionally a re-run will air; but episodes aren’t available yet on-demand.  There are some clips on YouTube but not all of them.”

JJ:  “Do you see a possibility of making a similar show in the near future?”

AS:  “I enjoy connecting with real people in a truly unscripted way. Life Story Project was genuinely spontaneous. Even if the guests were briefly pre-interviewed; Dale and I never knew much before the guests sat down to have a conversation with us. I’d love to do more shows that explore human relationships and highlight peoples’ incredible stories.”

JJ:  “Andrea you are a relationships life coach, an author and guest speaker on many famous television shows.  What was it like co-hosting with Dale on the show?”

AS:  “While I hardly worked on set with Dale (we filmed on different days); I really enjoyed working with him on this show. He and I are like-minded and believe everybody’s story matters. One thing that you didn’t see, perhaps, is that Dale and I joke around a lot.  We can certainly get serious but we also don’t take ourselves too seriously.”

All of my gratitude to Andrea and everyone from Life Story Project for inspiring my life because in essence, we are all living our own life story project the very best we can. We are all connected, therefore never alone.

You can see more of Andrea’s work on her webpage http://www.andreasyrtash.com/

Love,

Jen
xo

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