A Million Little Things

“Tears are words that need to be written” – Paulo Coelho

You’ve heard me say this before, “It’s not just one thing, it’s a million little things”

Like a vase, I was broken with shattered pieces everywhere 

Sharp glass edges not only cut me but others

Since then, I’ve tried  to pick up those pieces and create something beautiful

You found, cared, and loved me in every way

Ups and downs are part of the journey in life

However, taking risks with something you know is fragile, is not only insensitive, but it’s also dangerous

Remember, mountains do not form without earthquakes

I gaze at the stars suspended in the night sky

And think of the millions of great opportunities shining right before my eyes

I make a wish and hope you see them too

I remember it’s not the big things in life that count

It’s a million little things…

Much Love,

Jen
XO

The Blessing of Letting Go

Holding on while letting go feels like a tug of war internally. One foot in and one foot out

If you are afraid to let go, you will never be able to fully restart

Trust…

Get comfortable in the uncomfortable, it’s not about getting rid of the darkness but about letting the light in

Every scar tells a story and Lord knows; we have our share between the two of us

A wise man once said, in order to honor your past, create a special momento in the present with red and yellow flower petals wrapped in a beautiful paper package

Over the next two nights, put the package under each other’s pillow, say a prayer and sleep on it

On the third day, go to the river while holding a rose quartz and as a blessing to yourself, say your intentions for the present and future with each other. Then say a final goodbye to the past, wishing everyone well.

Time to let them go…

While holding the rose quartz in your right hand, and the beautifully wrapped organic package in your left, let the package go; drop it in the flowing water and say goodbye as it floats far away. Say another prayer and hold the rose quartz tightly as it heats your hand instantly. Express your love to each other

Breathe…

We feel lighter, relaxed, happy, and so full of love for one another

Life is beautiful, like a blank white canvas so full of promise, colors, and opportunities

Our hearts and souls speak, saying thank you for releasing unwanted weight that no longer serves us

Freedom…

To realize giving love to each other is the same as giving love to yourself with an open heart

This is what true love really is when you know the blessing of letting go ❤ ❤

Much Love,

Jen and Ray ❤

Gives Me Life

Last time I saw you, you were standing at the train station in February
As usual on your way, leaving for somewhere else
The bitter taste in my mouth reminds me of that cheap wine
I reach for the letter in my left coat pocket that was intended for you
It reads, “I wish I could have stopped you
Emotionally, I feel anger in the pit of my stomach
As if my personal power was stripped away from me a thousand times
When I think of you, I see the color red; like a bull
We danced between victim and rescuer
Until finally the villain came on the dance floor to play
I carried the heavy load; daily
Yet the two young hearts in my life have consistently been my saving grace
I would do anything for them as I always have, now and forever
Peace is all I ask; for them and for me
I longed to see the color white which felt so out of reach

Until I finally cut the emotional ties that held me back

Amazingly, I feel lighter, happier
I met someone very special
A breath of fresh air, selfless, caring, and dependable
When I think of her, I see the color yellow; like sunshine
I feel comfortable,  serene, content
Happy in my heart and mind
Friends and family see what I see
Sharing is what we do best
It gets better with time, all the time
It feels wonderful to be loved, but even more profound to be understood
I never take anything for granted
Life isn’t perfect
But it’s pretty damn good
I’m a happy man
She gives me life.”

~ Co-authored by Raymond Morris and Jennifer Green. This blog is dedicated to the brokenhearted and hopeful hearts. Enjoy this inspiring song LIFE by Boy George

💕

~ Dare to live courageously… 

The Universe Responds

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To all the lovely people who left this earth too soon

How can life feel so long one day, yet short the next?

I wanted to tell you several things before you left

Please believe me, my heart said what it could at the time

I’m just grateful for having the chance to say goodbye

Last night I went outside and looked up to the heavens

I read a poem that said when someone dies, you throw your grief to the sky

The Universe responds and paints that sky shades of pinks and purples

At some point, anger sounds like thunder and sadness feels like rain

Even the wind feels like you are near and just walked past me

Letting go is an ongoing journey

Reminiscing about times together and feeling grateful for precious moments

They say when someone dies, they become your guardian angel; especially a child

If I ever have a question, I know I can ask you anytime

Now you are pain-free, healthy, happy, safe, and peaceful

Reuniting with the ones you loved and lost once before

I take comfort in believing this for the time being

Envisioning your happiness makes me happy

This is my emotional rescue

Life is interesting how we are more connected than disconnected

I know I’ll see you again one day

We can paint the sky together

But for now, I throw my grief to the ground

To hope and watch happiness bloom on earth once again

As the Universe responds

 

All my love to you ❤

XX

 

~ This blog was written for the people close to my heart and for anyone who lost someone close to them.  I was inspired by one of my blogging friends Rupali Jeganathan and her beautiful poetry.

Please be sure to check out her amazing words on Instagram @missbookthief or her website  www.ko-fi.com/missbookthief

 

~ Dare To Live Courageously…

Love,

Jen
xx

Stay Open-Hearted

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She told me a story I’ll never forget

How loss can be turned into something extraordinary
Where our focus goes, is where energy flows

How courage and connection are what we crave in this lifetime
We miss what we don’t have and we do need each other

How acknowledging our feelings is essential to heal
When we run from our feelings, they follow us.

Everywhere.

How important trust is in all relationships
When people betray you, maybe you betrayed them

How people judge others
Reveals unhealed places in their own heart of hearts

How important it is to forgive people who hurt us
Especially if you don’t receive an apology

How lovely it is to hold onto the good times
Interesting how memories run backward like a flowing river

How normal it is to experience grief in no particular order
Detangling a web of emotions is no easy task for anyone

How things will improve with time
That’s just the way it is and that is comforting

How beautiful it is to look out the window at 2 a.m.
And gaze at the stars taking up the entire sky

How finding light in the dark is always possible
When you make one small shift, it can change everything

How she misses the one she loves
When the sun kisses the moon goodnight

How life is so beautiful
She said, “Stay open-hearted…”

Much Love,

Jen
XO

 

 

 

5 Years Under The Microscope

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As of today, it’s been 5 years since my marriage ended, and I couldn’t be happier.  As strange as that may sound, let me explain why.

Separation and divorce are never wished upon anyone but if you are in the middle of one now, you need to find the silver lining and blessings it has for you and your new life because trust me, they’re there.  That’s not to say you have to skip the grieving process, in fact, you must go through it to get over it, that I know for sure.  Everyone grieves differently and takes their own amount of time to do so and my one piece of advice is to be patient during the process.  Once you do accept that it happened, you are able to move onto the silver lining stage.

In the beginning for some, an amicable conversation can take place where both sides agree to separate and live their own lives.  On the other hand for some, it’s often a total shock you didn’t see coming.  This is exactly what happened to me; I was blindsided.  However, the day he left was the day I arrived.  This was the part where I found out who I was and what I was made of.  Divorce has put my life under the microscope for the past 5 years and I had no choice but to examine it closely.

Relationships are like a microscope looking into our emotional wellbeing.  These relationships shine a light on the old and open wounds still begging for closure.  Once I was on my own, it was time for me to take a long, hard look at myself and where I came from.  What did I have to do to become the person I was meant to be?  On the flip side, what did I have to let go of in unbecoming the person I thought I was?  I went from being shut down and pleasing to a woman who became vocal with boundaries.  This led me to let go of toxicity and hang on to love so that healing could take place.

I’m a firm believer that anything you lose comes around in another form, whether that’s through friendship, a love relationship, partnership, or even self-love.  Basically, you get to genuinely meet yourself for the very first time, once and for all. This is the greatest silver lining and blessing in disguise because that’s where you discover what you truly want and need in life.  What makes you happy, how, who, and why.  It also shines a light on what are your dealbreakers now.  All that time under the microscope finally paid off, and I think I gained some years back in my life.  How fantastic is that?  Time to celebrate, cheers!

“Leave some room in your heart for the unimaginable”  ~ Mary Oliver

Much Love ❤

Jen
XO

~ Dare to live courageously…

**I recently wrote an article that was published in the online magazine Thought Catalog and it is titled “An Open Letter To Pain:  I Think I’m Ready To Let You Go”  Have a wonderful weekend everyone 🙂

**As always, copies of “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” are available in all formats at online bookstores worldwide.  All my gratitude to YOU xx

Have You Ever Seen The Rain

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Isn’t it ironic how we feel is sometimes the opposite of what we are truly living in?

Have you ever felt sad while wearing a smile?

Did you ever feel alone in a room full of people?

Have you ever felt angry when everyone is happy?

Have you ever seen the rain?  In other words, have you ever been sad?  Of course, we are all human, so you are not alone.

But have you ever seen the rain, coming down on a sunny day?  In other words, have you ever had something tough or unfortunate happen during the good times?  I know I have.

Is it possible to be sad and happy at the same time?

Yes, it is…

Grief is a perfect example of being happy one minute then bursting into tears the next.  Our stories are different, but our emotions are the same.  We are more similar than we are different but eventually, we get through it all.

Have you ever felt the calm before the storm?

I have, and I’m pretty sure you have too…

You know that gut feeling where something bad is going to happen, you just don’t know what or when.

One thing for sure is that life is full of ups and downs and during the tough times, yes we are going to see the rain coming down.  However, it is possible to be happy during these hardships.  We have to remember that tough times don’t last forever and things will work out the way they should.  The sun always comes out in the end and if you’re lucky, you’ll even see a rainbow.  Isn’t a rainbow a sign of good luck?  You see, things are getting better already!

That’s why it’s important to have your friends and family close by, to help, guide, and support you because they love you and want what’s truly best for you.

I think this song Have You Ever Seen The Rain, by CCR is an example of how life can be so ironic sometimes.  Whenever I’m feeling down, this classic song always picks me up and makes me smile.  I hope you are smiling now too 🙂 Happy December everyone, hope it’s been good to you so far!

Much Love ❤

Jen

**Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak is still available at all online bookstores worldwide.  Thank you, everyone ❤

xx

Empty Your Heart

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Empty your heart, dear one
Release all the blockages and pain
Tell me everything
I’m listening…

Untangle the pain and suffering
It’s interesting how messy things can get
How we keep packing one thing on top of another without realizing it
Unpack what you don’t need anymore

Years of accumulated emotions, unspoken words, lost opportunities, secrets, and guilt
They all hold us hostage and they are weighing you down my friend
You let it hurt, now let it go
Bleed it all out…

If you want to be free, learn the lessons
What is life trying to teach you right now
You may not know the answer yet, but in time you will
Dust off your heart and clean it up for new possibilities

Cracks from heartbreak are just that; cracks
You still have a pulse and blood pressure; you’re alive
Anything is possible…
Four chambers pump life into you every single day

Stop the decay and start the growth
Throw away the whip and wrap compassion around yourself instead
Slow down, listen to your heart and trust what it’s telling you
You can do this, you really can

Talk it out
Cry, scream, run, walk, dance, sing, write, draw, laugh
Do whatever it takes to empty your heart
Make space and fill it with love, compassion, peace, happiness, healing, gratitude, and forgiveness

Most of all, make room for those magical moments
For what is real, because that’s what life is all about
Open your eyes and relax
Listen…

A “yes” or a “no” can change one’s life forever
Remember that…
It’s not your previous life or relationship you miss, it’s the routine
Get out of your head

And empty your heart…

Much Love,

Jen

 

**This blog is dedicated to my dear friend Danielle Lewis in North Carolina who like all of us, is learning how to empty her heart each and every day and she is doing a lovely job!  Not only has she started her own healing journey, but she also created her own podcast called Mom’s Still Standing.  Please be sure to subscribe to it on iTunes or Spotify.  She even has me on there as a guest speaker!  I think we can all relate to emptying our hearts at one time or another and just like how we spring clean at home, we need to do the same thing with ourselves.  Have a great week everyone ❤

**Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak is still available on all online bookstores worldwide.  All my gratitude to YOU!  xx

~ Dare to live courageously…

 

Tell Me Why…

Why

I see you running after the things that run from you
Tell me why you do that
Recalibrate, there is no need to chase the wrong person or thing

I hear you berating yourself as if it were a personal motivational speech
Tell me why you do that
Self-love and self-compassion are needed more than ever, please be kind to yourself

I see you running East expecting to see a sunset
Tell me why you do that
You’re running the wrong way, turn around; the sun sets in the West and you know that

I hear your lies and unapologetic excuses about things you’re not proud of
Tell me why you do that
Be courageous and take responsibility for your actions, the truth will set you free

I see you going back to the things that continually hurt you
Tell me why you do that
Wounds are meant to heal, not to stay open and continuously bleed

I hear you say you want a change and yet here you are in the same situation
Tell me why you do that
Make the decision to change and commit to that; don’t settle, know your worth

I see you doing the same thing over again, expecting a different outcome
Tell me why you do that
You know that one small shift can change everything…be brave

I hear you trying to convince yourself to stay in something you don’t want
Tell me why you do that
Be honest with yourself and with others, know what you want and say it

I see you holding on to the past for dear life and it only makes you miserable
Tell me why you do that
Let go of what hurts and release it to the Universe; the future is better and brighter

I hear you voicing your values yet they don’t match your behavior
Tell me why you do that
Are you sure they are your values or are they someone else’s beliefs

I see you trying to fit in because you want to belong
Tell me why you do that
Surround yourself with like-minded people, then you will belong

I hear you whispering to the crashing waves in the day and the suspended stars at night
Tell me why you do that
I hope they are listening to all your words and wishes

I see you putting your dreams on a shelf, tucked away for some other time
Tell me why you do that
You are meant to share your talent with the world, don’t worry what others may think

I hear you telling yourself not to say anything, to suppress your voice on matters
Tell me why you do that
Be courageous and use the voice you have; express your needs and wants

I see and hear you making choices out of fear and anxiety
Tell me why you do that
Make choices out of love, what fills your soul and makes you happy

I need to know the WHY behind what you say and do
Why is it important to you
Tell me why…

Dare to live courageously…

Much Love ❤

Jen
XO

*I’ve always loved this song Why by Annie Lennox and it happens to go with this blog.  Have a beautiful weekend everyone and be happy 🙂

**Please be sure to check out my friend Danielle Lewis and subscribe to her podcast titled Mom’s Still Standing which is available on iTunes and Spotify.  It’s a wonderful and inspiring podcast that connects all mom’s trying to navigate life and motherhood ❤

***Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak is still available at all online bookstores worldwide, iTunes, Google Play, Nook, Kindle, and at the FriesenPress bookstore.  Books are a great Christmas gift for the readers on your list 🙂 Thank you everyone xx

Pain Becomes The Cure

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Evening summer walks are my favorite because things are quieter, calm, and the sun is less intense.  I feel HAPPY.

As I walk down the street, I see a house and the address is DENIAL.  I suddenly feel a pain in my chest and rehearse those words in my head again out of nowhere.  “This can’t be happening, don’t worry about it.”  I think of what I lost and keep walking.

As I turn the corner onto the next street, I see another house and the address is BARGAINING.  I suddenly feel a lump in my throat and remember how desperate I was trying to hold on and make a deal.  “If you can just tell me how I can fix this, then everything will be ok.”  The loss feels heavy but I keep walking.

As I reach the cul-de-sac, I see another house and the address is ANGER.  I suddenly feel trapped with a pit in my stomach and all I want to do is scream at the heavens above me.  “How could you do this to me?”  Strangely enough, I feel a burst of energy and start running up the street, passing BARGAINING and DENIAL.  I ask myself, “What is going on here?”  I’m sure I look crazy to some.

As I run to the next street over, I see a lake at the end and I am drawn towards it.  There’s a house on the corner and the address is DEPRESSION.  I suddenly feel waves of sadness come over me and the tears start flowing and flowing.  “It’s not easy, I feel so alone…I lost everything.”  The loss feels huge and I am exhausted.  Then for some reason, I turn around and walk down the same street passing the other houses in no particular order and they each have a strange way of haunting me.  I don’t understand why or what is happening but I somehow keep walking.

Years and miles go by up and down these streets, passing house after house, experiencing feeling after feeling.  Over time I discovered a new street I was avoiding all along and started walking that way.  I see a house that catches my eye and the address is ACCEPTANCE.  I finally feel peace and happiness just standing there looking at it.  I think to myself how long it took to find it after years of walking, running, feeling, and forgiving.

Take a breath…

This blog is dedicated to anyone and everyone who has lost someone or something in their life.  One thing I know for sure is that grieving is different for everyone.  The stories of loss might be different, the order and length of grieving stages might be different, but the emotions are the same and that’s how we are all connected.  Don’t compare your inside to someone’s outside because you’ll always lose.  You will heal when you are ready, you are not on a schedule, but you have to keep going and ask for help.  Triggers can still happen but the only way out is through because one minute you’re happy and the next minute you are grieving one or more of the stages.

But in the end, the pain becomes the cure.  That I know for sure.

Take another breath…

You’re doing your best ❤

 

Much Love ❤

Jen
XO

*I would like to give a shout out to one of my good friends and soul sister, Danielle Lewis because on Monday, October 21st, she is releasing her new podcast called “Mom’s Still Standing”  You can subscribe to her podcast on iTunes, she has some great guest speakers on it too 😉

I love this song Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves.  Have a beautiful weekend everyone ❤

*Copies of “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” are available at all online bookstores worldwide.  All my gratitude to YOU ❤

~ Dare to live courageously…