From Sea To Sky…

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It’s 4 a.m and the waves of the blue sea are subtly heard crashing against the shoreline

Sleeping is nearly impossible at this hour

Each morning sunrise, colors run into each other

Like my inner strength unexpectedly does to me

Some days are brighter and others seem to fade

Clouds contain feelings and prayers the same way they hold the rain

It’s strange how not being able to let out any feelings and wanting to remove them at the same time can hold me, hostage

All I can do is breathe, let it all go and see what stays

White clouds turn dark and thunder pounds to the beat of my heart

I feel so fragile right now…

Emotions come pouring out with the downpour of rain, washing my fears away

I realize you broke my heart but opened my eyes

I am somehow grateful for all this pain and grief

Suddenly, the sun comes out behind the same clouds that blocked it

It shines a light on everything, including me

Everything makes sense now

I feel the wind, wrapping around my shoulders, and running through my hair

As if a Higher Power brushes all the toxicity away

It’s a new start now, I can’t lose me to keep you

As time goes on, sunsets are a reminder to lay it all down once and for all

Healing is not linear and I believe this to be true

At night, the waves of the blue sea subtly crash against the shoreline again

I look up and ask the moon and stars for yet another miracle

That’s what people do when needing guidance

I realize you are like the moon and stars, loved and out of reach

However, I trust the force that guides them also guides me too

Now it’s time to close my eyes to old ends

And open my heart to new beginnings

From sea to sky…

 

 “For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen; a gaseous nebula must collapse.  So collapse.  Crumble.  This is not your destruction.  This is your birth” ~ Zoe Skylar

This blog is dedicated to one of my close friends, Caroline Gilbert who is going through a difficult time but she is a strong woman who can get through this.  We have all been heartbroken before so you are not alone my friend.  One day you will wake up and be in a new place of peace and calm.  Where everything feels right.  For now, be at peace with where you’ve been and know that you are being guided to something even better.  Please have a listen to the song Fragile by Sting and have a great weekend ❤

Much Love,

Jen ❤
XO

Dedication To Future Mothers

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She’s a beautiful, caring woman
Supportive friends, family and husband surround her
She’s popular in her work and is loved by all
And like many women, she is longing to have a baby
But is unable to do so naturally; she feels alone
She dreams of babies, sees them everywhere she goes
Reminders are everywhere
Special occasions are difficult especially Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
Friends become pregnant and she celebrates this with them
While she goes home to pray that she will be fortunate like them one day
Every passing month is a roller coaster trying, waiting, disappointment
This doesn’t stop her, it motivates her to keep going
Years of intense fertility treatments go by
And this woman is still standing strong
Yet at the same time, cries herself to sleep at night
Visualizing that tiny face she longs for
People make comments which come across as unsupportive
Behind that smile are layers of pain that nobody understands
It’s a lot to endure over the years when she gives her all every single time
Often in silence with bruises on her body and heart
And no explanation as to why it isn’t happening yet
Everyone is dealing with something difficult
But this is unbearable some days
With every negative test, hope still exists
Her perseverance and determination pull her through to try again
Nothing can stop her
In chasing her dream of becoming a mother
Miracles happen every day
Here’s hoping and praying your miracle comes sooner than later
You are absolutely amazing…

 

“When you’re going through hell, keep going” ~Winston Churchill

 

**Note:  This blog is dedicated to all the friends, patients, and women I’ve known and cared for who try so hard to conceive a baby through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).  It’s a scary path these women take, they are Bravehearts through and through and I am always amazed at their perseverance and determination in chasing after their dream of becoming a future mother.  At all costs.

Bravo to all of you and your significant others who stand by your side.

So Much Love,

Jen
xo