Silver Is The New Gold

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Your boyfriend/girlfriend just broke up with you or maybe you didn’t get that job you were counting on.  These scenarios are major disappointments in life and if you focus on the negative outcome, you miss the gift of finding the silver lining and life lessons that are often hidden within the situation.

Imagine one of the most challenging situations you had to face and thought you were never going to get through it.  Perhaps it was one of these examples above or something even bigger where the devastation was so great you were immobilized for weeks or months.

Sound familiar?

In hindsight, were you able to see if any good came out of the experience?  What were the life lessons you learned from it?  In what ways did that experience give your life new meaning?

Now think of a challenge you are facing right now.  How might you see your challenge in a new light with a different perspective?  What are some positive possibilities that could come because of this challenge you are facing?

When devastation and disappointment strikes, it’s natural to go into victim mode for awhile.  The key to surviving this is actually having the key to escape that prison you’re in.  Success and failures are two sides of the same coin and sometimes in order to be successful, one needs to fail.  Failures are life’s greatest teachers and are road signs telling us that we’re going the wrong way and we need to look for a new direction.  These are known as the crossroads in our life which can be a great opportunity for a life review to see what we have, what we want and what we can live without.  With every review, things become a little clearer which means you become a little happier and successful in finding your right path.

Let’s suppose that job offer didn’t work out for you and something even better came along.  If you would have been offered that first job, the opportunity for accepting the right one would have been lost to someone else.  By being patient and accepting the right offer you are able to find the silver lining of being rejected in the first situation.

Heartbreak is another story and maybe the most complicated one of all to fully understand.  Even though reasons for why a break up happened are so greatly varied, the feelings and emotions that someone experiences are the same no matter what the situation.  Anger, sadness, grieving a loss are essential feelings to go through in order to make sense of the situation and move forward.  There are times when one person no longer feels the loving connection they once had as a couple and despite the efforts of trying to repair things, it becomes time for them to walk away.  In life, sometimes people can grow with you and other times people grow apart from you.  As hard as it may be to accept this fact, all of this aids in your own personal growth and development because if someone who isn’t right for you stays, then you miss out on meeting the person who is right.

Once free from an emotionally dead relationship, that’s when the process of self-discovery begins which is a beautiful thing because when you know more about who you are, your values, and what you represent then you will attract like-minded people into your life instead of settling.  You become more loving and self-compassionate which allows you to extend that love to others, making it more authentic because it becomes an opportunity to open up your heart and mind.  When you hit rock bottom in a relationship, the only way to go is up because painful endings are beautiful beginnings.  Therefore, learning the life lessons and finding the silver lining in heartbreak are the best things that could ever happen to you and this is worth celebrating.

The possibilities are endless when finding the silver lining in life’s challenges and your job is to find them because silver is the new gold and trust me, you don’t want to miss it.

Wishing everyone a season of peace and joy this December.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all 🙂

P.S.  My book is due to be released at the end of March 2017 so I will keep you posted on that as well.  In it, I go through the silver linings I found and life lessons I learned which inspired me to write this post as well.

Much Love ❤

Jen

 

It’s Finally Over

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Her view was mostly of his back
He was far too busy to notice, especially her
When  pointed out, he walked away from her
Communication was his weakest link
The emotional abandonment was suffocating and humiliating for her
Being ignored was the worst empty feeling of all
She felt alone and excluded,  yet she was with him
The sting of emotional betrayal was overwhelming and nauseating
How could this be happening after everything she gave him
Gone was her independence and confidence during those years
Sadly her efforts to impress went unnoticed
Yet somehow he still benefited from the results
Her head hurt from banging it against the wall
Begging for his attention
She felt she didn’t exist and unimportant, at least with him
Schedules, impressions, ego were his priorities
Invitations elsewhere were taken with pleasure
Decided and enjoyed, leaving her behind
She felt she didn’t have a choice which took away her voice

Until one day a job opportunity came for her in a faraway land
An opportunity not just for her but for the family
To be treated like a queen and highly rewarded for all her hard work
He encouraged her to pursue this adventure
The spotlight had shifted from him to her
It was finally her turn to do more, have more
The law of divine compensation was at play
However, seething jealousy swept in
Robbed her of this happiness, this chance of a lifetime
What did he do?
He backed out, refusing this opportunity for himself
Advised her to go alone
His world was far too important to leave behind and support her in this quest
These foolish games were killing her and them
She was so tired of feeling alone
Betrayal came in many forms and shattered her heart one crack at a time
His jealousy and control were building daily over her

That’s when everything changed…
She realized this was not about her but all about him
Like all the other times he abandoned her

And then…. it happened, the day after Valentine’s

A hurling punch of ultimate betrayal slapped her across the face with brute force
Causing physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual harm to her body and soul
He took away Everything from her world
Her cracked heart was broken, bleeding and wailing
The invisible crown she wore fell, and crashed into a wall
Jewels she collected over the years shattered into a million pieces
Lifelessly falling to the floor,  she tried to pick them one by one
Screaming, reaching and crying a river of tears
Every act of control on his part felt like she was being strangled tighter and tighter
He was kicking her while she was down; the pain was excruciating
She was unable to get off this emotional roller coaster ride
And it was sucking the life out of her
Her world was rapidly spinning out of control into a downward tornado spiral
She knew this was the end but failed to realize
It was also her new beginning…

Gradually, she picked herself off the floor
Had no idea she was in the driver’s seat
She could finally break free and live her life the way it was intended
With people who care and make time for her in their busy schedule
And don’t take advantage of her good nature
Friends and family gathered round, carried her when she couldn’t walk
Resisted sleep all night until sunrise; stayed and talked with her
Buried the darkness when she needed the light
Spoke for her when she couldn’t speak
Listened when she finally found her voice and the words
Dried her tears when they wouldn’t stop flowing
Made her laugh and smile to cut through the pain
Encouraged her to shake and pound it out through exercise
Books, quotes and songs repaired her soul one phrase at a time
Hugs and virtual hugs meant everything to her
Friends and family became her strength, her lifeline, her everything
Standing by her side through every mind controlling appointment and conversation
Taking her shopping and moving her into her new palace
Helping to re-attach the shining jewels to her invisible crown
And wearing it like a boss knowing she’s worth it, dammit
While carrying on courageously and not missing a beat in her life
Rising strong like a hero and not a poor victim
Pouring out her emotions and detoxifying her soul through writing
Connecting with more friends around the world that inspire and support her
Skype, Hangouts, texts and social media bring friends who are far, close to her heart
She doesn’t feel alone or ignored anymore, she is smiling
Her heart and mind are open, she can breathe again

Finally she disembarks this wild emotional roller coaster ride
Thanking her guardian angels for riding along side with her
This girl is on fire now and has her strength back and more
She walks into the appointment with her pen in hand
Signs the document that changes her life forever and for the better
Her inked signature says it all loud and clear
It’s finally over.
And this time…
She walks away with her back to him for the very first time
And rocks it

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** A special thanks to Darshith for letting me borrow his awesome idea of adding music to my blog 😉 **Thank you** 🙂 Since this post has a before and after, I chose two songs; Foolish Games by Jewel and Brand New Me by Alicia Keys.  Thank you for reading and listening, I know it was long but I just had to get it all out, turn my back, close the door, walk away and move on.  Enjoy the music…Life is beautiful.  We’re all human.

Love, Thanks and Hugs to You,

Jennifer
xo

The Butterfly Emerges

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“How do you become a butterfly?  You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”  ~ Trina Paulus

Author and cancer survivor Mark Nepo says the things we hold dear in our hearts like a relationship, an identity, a dream or an ambition acts like a cocoon.  When the butterfly emerges, the cocoon has served its purpose.  It doesn’t mean it’s false, it means it served its purpose just as everything in life serves as a purpose.  Therefore our relationships, identities, dreams and ambitions are often cocoons that lead us to the next.  The problem is when we are so attached to these relationships, identities, dreams and ambitions, we come in conflict when it breaks or falls away that we don’t see what it’s opened us up to.

Have you ever been in a relationship or a situation that has served its purpose and you know in your heart it’s time to surrender and let go?  It hurts to even think about it breaking away or never returning.  We’ve all been there.  Just the angst of making that decision to leave can be the biggest struggle of our lives just as the caterpillar struggles in becoming a butterfly inside the cocoon.  This inner process takes time and all the work that is being done is from within, it just needs the time and space to do this on its own.  Similarly, we need to work from within to find our inner strength and make changes in our own lives. After having gone through this struggle, not only does it make you stronger, it transforms you.  Like the butterfly, when you finally emerge from the cocoon and come out on the other side after having made that decision, you are so powerful and beautiful.  The cocoon which represents a relationship or situation has now served its purpose.  It is time to surrender and let go.  This process cannot be rushed, nor can anyone do this inner work for you.  For an observer, as difficult as it may be to stand back watching and waiting for this final moment to happen, you must be patient and let nature take its course.  Even the sun and rain support the process which can represent our own support systems like friends and family, we are all connected.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives to emerge us into the next great opportunity.  They strengthen us, connect us and can even make us fly.  I have learned freedom from struggling and I am very grateful for this teacher.   ~ J.J.