Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak

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Well, it’s been over a year since I started this journey of writing my first book.  Never in a million years did I think this dream would be happening or right around the corner, but it’s getting much closer to being complete!

As it stands right now, my publisher at FriesenPress is putting the final copyright touches on my book and pretty soon, it will be available through their online bookstore and by June, it will be available on every online platform worldwide!!!

I can’t even control my excitement, having my book released will be something meaningful for me because I managed to turn on a light while being in the dark, I flipped the negatives into positives, and my main goals were to heal myself while helping others in return 🙂

I am sharing a piece of the book cover in the above photo and I would also like to share the Preface from my book with all of you, just to give you a taste of what’s to come, very, very soon.  I hope you like it and once the book is out, I will pass on all the links to where you can find it.  I am planning a book launch and once it is organized I will give you the details on that as well.

Thank you so very much for all your true love and support ❤

 

Preface

As I wrote my book, I was inspired while reading By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho.  Apparently, in his book, there is a legend where everything that falls into the waters of this river is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed.  When you write out your feelings, it is the pen that shoots flames onto paper and bleeds from your soul.  Once it is written, it is tossed into the cold water to extinguish those flames and take away your suffering.  All of my tears and pain could be let go of and washed away by performing this beautiful gesture in a river close to my home.  All I had to do was finish writing my book and head down to the riverbank which is exactly what I did on a cool October afternoon.   As a symbol and blessing to myself, I tossed a copy of my flaming and bleeding manuscript into the frigid waters to extinguish my lingering suffering and have it washed far away.  As tears rolled down my cold cheeks into the river, I saw the manuscript flow with the current, and I imagined it turning to stone sinking far from here, becoming another rock at the bottom of the riverbed.  In that very moment, I suddenly felt the chill in the air, I released everything and let go, and the bleeding in my heart finally stopped.

My name is Jennifer Green and this is my story of how I dealt with my separation and divorce and how I overcame adversity by self-reflection and found the silver linings in my crumbling life events.  It’s not a book of venting or blaming.  It’s about my journey to recovery, accepting my own responsibilities and how I kept a positive outlook and learned some life lessons while living through the most difficult time of my life.  For every chapter I have written in this book during 2016, I am including a blog I wrote on my website in real time with the real emotion of what I was going through in 2015 and 2016.  Therefore, these chapters are the real and personal stories behind the blogs I wrote, alongside my reflections now.

We all fall down in life and I admit I have fallen many times which is painful and hurts so much.  It’s normal to stay down for a while but eventually, you need to get back up and face reality.  This requires some action steps and commitment. But for some, this is where the rubber fails to hit the road.  They may know what they need to do but they can’t even begin to even try.  I know how hard that is because there were times I felt the same way, but I realized that by keeping an open mind and open heart I may fall again and what’s important is finding the strength to keep rising with an incredible support system.

If you’ve ever had a relationship end in a traumatic way and change your world or if you are in the middle of one right now, rest assured you are not alone, I can sympathize and empathize with you and I am by your side.

We can walk through this together.

Thank you so much for joining me on my journey and welcome to my world.

~Jennifer Green

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking Back While Looking Ahead

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I read somewhere that you should never look back on things that happened but only look back to see how far you’ve come.  I would like to add that looking back can be a positive experience if your intention is to find the life lesson or silver lining hiding within the situation.

“No experience is wasted…everything in life is to grow you up.”  ~ Oprah Winfrey

Looking back, it’s been one year ago today, October 27th, 2015 when I signed my divorce papers.  Since then I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, writing, learning, and personal growth and development.  The year 2015 was the most difficult time of my life and in 2016, I needed to make it one of the best years of my life.  Looking ahead, I just finished writing my first book which was cathartic.  My new start began with my trip to India in January 2016 and it was the best way to push the restart button on my new life.

I’ve definitely come a long way in a short amount of time.

I am currently in the editing phase with my publishing company and I am expecting to have my book released in early 2017 which I am crazy excited about!  It will be available everywhere online, more details on that to come later on.  I wanted to share this news and blog about it to let you know it’s coming and give you some background information at the same time.

This book is about how I dealt with my separation and divorce and how I overcame adversity by self-reflection and finding the silver lining in my crumbling life events.  It’s not a book of venting or blaming.  It’s about my journey to recovery, accepting my own responsibilities and how I kept a positive outlook and learned some life lessons while living through the most difficult time of my life.  For every chapter, I describe the before, during and after phase by including my reflections now and a blog I wrote on my website in real time with the real emotions of what I was going through in 2015 and 2016.  Therefore, these chapters are the real and personal stories behind the blogs I wrote, alongside my reflections now.

We all fall down in life and I admit I have fallen many times which is painful and hurts so much.  It’s normal to stay down for a while but eventually, you need to get back up and face reality.  This requires some action steps and commitment. But for some, this is where the rubber fails to hit the road.  They may know what they need to do but they can’t even begin to even try.  I know how hard that is because there were days I felt the same way, but I realized that by keeping an open mind and open heart I may fall again and what’s important is finding the strength to keep rising with an incredible support system.

If you’ve ever had a relationship end in a traumatic way and change your world or if you are in the middle of one right now, rest assured you are not alone, I can sympathize and empathize with you and I am by your side.   My intention is to let you know you’re not alone and you can get through it.

Even though every story or scenario might be different when it comes to any type of loss in life, the one thing we all share is our emotions and the grieving process we all go through. That’s how we’re all connected and if we can support one another during our most difficult times, this I know for sure is the best way to survive.

It definitely worked for me, I didn’t do this alone.

Once you have the support you need, you can begin the healing process by taking some responsibility for your own actions because let’s face it, it takes two people to make or break a relationship.  This might come as a surprise to some because when there is a breakup, one person may be more to blame than the other.  This might be true to some extent but the other person definitely plays a role in that relationship which led to its demise whether they want to own it or not.  Life is a journey of imperfections, and trials and tribulations.  Some days, weeks or years are better than others but let’s not forget we’re all human.

Not robots, not perfect and not superior.

I would like to share some words by author Brené Brown that helped carry me through some of my toughest times and I hope they help you too.

Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted

“There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers
Than those of us who are willing to fall
Because we have learned how to rise

With skinned knees and bruised hearts;
We choose owning our stories of struggle,
Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we run from struggle, we are never free.
So we turn toward truth and look at it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories.
Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.

We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.

We craft love from heartbreak,
Compassion from shame,
Grace from disappointment,
Courage from failure.

Showing up is our power.
Story is our way home.
Truth is our song.
We are the brave and brokenhearted.
We are rising strong.”

I feel proud for sharing my story with all of you in my upcoming book and I appreciate all of your love and support.

 

Much Love ❤

Jen