David Kessler, author, and grieving expert published many books on grief and loss. He talks about the new step called Finding Meaning and asks:
“Is it possible to find light in the dark? Is it possible to be the light in the dark? Is it possible to find meaning in trauma, death, loss? When you can accept what happened, that’s when you can find meaning And that’s when you find light in the dark Meaning is not in the death, trauma, or loss, it’s in us and what we do with it Gratitude is about the person, not the trauma, death, loss.”
Ever since my dad passed, it’s strange, I feel like a little girl all over again, but with pain, sadness, and so much vulnerability. Some people understand but others not so much. Grief takes time and everyone is different
My inner child is listening carefully to how I speak to myself. I need kindness and compassion, I am still very fragile
I’ll always remember sitting around your bed that day, breathing the same air as you, what a privilege
There was this transfer of pain in that silent collapse, from you to me
You looked so calm and peaceful on the outside
The heavens changed that day and so did my world
You got your open door to your next spiritual journey
Now I watch for omens like cardinals, feathers, songs, and numbers, hoping it’s you reassuring me you’re ok
I want to take all your advice and use it in my personal and professional life
“Be confident, don’t convince anyone of your worth if they are too blind to see it, give and expect respect, care for others, tell the truth, and when you love, include yourself in that equation”
You said, “If you find yourself thinking you’re asking for too much from someone, maybe you should ask yourself if you’re asking the wrong person.”
Like Joni Mitchell’s song Both Sides Now, I’ve looked at life/love from both sides now
You said I used to ask a million questions, this is true and I still have many more
I lit a candle for you today dad, and remembered all the great memories through the tears
In my mind, I captured a collection of moments, sealed them in clear glass jars, and carefully lined them on a special shelf I can see from my bed
I imagine tying a navy blue silk ribbon around each one, that reminds me of the days you wore ties when I was a little girl
Whenever I want to visit those memories and moments, the clear glass makes it possible
I’m on my own journey of finding meaning…
My wish for you is to take a shot at the moon, take a trip to the sun
Paint the sky with your fingertips at sunrise and sunset
Why not add some sparkle in the night sky on your journey
I want to feel your presence in nature, thunderstorms, the wind
Even snowstorms like the one we had the day you departed…
You said that was a good omen
Thank you for giving me what you could as a dad, for re-introducing me to the love of writing, for attending my track and field meets for over 13 years, a swimming pool, learning how to water ski, playing piano, always listening, and for just being you
Maybe one of these days I’ll learn to acquire a taste for a good scotch or gin like you did
Then again, let’s see…
If that day ever happens, I’ll sip it at sunset on the water with you, listening to Both Sides Now
This one’s for you dad…cheers…
Love you ❤
*On Friday, February 4th, 2022, my dad passed away from prostate cancer. He qualified for the MAID procedure which he had and passed peacefully. As a nurse, this was something medical to watch and as a daughter, it was so painful to watch. One of my favorite quotes is this; “We have two lives and the second one begins when we realize we only have one.” ~ Confucius
“He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. ~ Chinese Proverb
In my book, “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” I talk about a coin having not only two sides, but three. Heads, tails, and the edge. The two sides represent two different points of view from two people opposing each other; heads and tails. However, the edge represents the truth, facts, or reality behind a situation that is often avoided, overlooked, or hidden. On the edge of truth or reality, are the reasons that run deeper than both points of view. Therefore, the possibility of gaining a new perspective is there to consider, but only when you have an open mind and heart, is when you can own your behaviors and the role you played in the relationship. I’m talking about accountability and responsibility. We are no longer insecure toddlers saying, “not me!” Or at least we shouldn’t be. After all, it’s the truth on that skinny little edge that will set you free, if you dare to go there.
Lessons Learned in 2021:
Do you know what’s interesting? You can’t invite something or someone new in your heart until you create the space for it. To do that means doing the work to heal from your past over a good amount of time, then letting it go for good
Stuffing the past inside never works; it causes toxic emotional constipation and that’s not fair to the next person involved because it always comes out later as an emotional explosion. Who wants that?
Be wise enough to know how important self-love and self-respect are and they will guide you on what to do to heal
If someone tries to play mind games, create doubts, have sneaky conversations, or show inconsistencies, RUN! Kenny Rogers was right all along
Continue setting boundaries. They protect your mind, heart, body, and soul. If someone gets angry with your boundaries, then all the more reason to have them
If you ever notice a man using you for your money, get out ASAP. That’s just pathetic, unattractive, and downright scary! Never be a sugar mama
Always remember, when words don’t match actions and they twist it to blame you, that’s called manipulation
When people are not accountable, that’s called gaslighting
When someone labels others crazy or mental, that’s called projection which means they are describing themselves, not the other person
It’s not wise to play with fire, it only takes one tiny match to burn the whole thing down. Unless you don’t care
The ones who give the impression of nothing, tells you everything
You have to learn when your part is over in someone’s story
This chapter is called MAKE ROOM
Relationships are not always meant to be forever, they are here for a reason, a season, and to teach us many lessons. Learn the lessons
Know what you need and want and go for it
Trust the Universe, it knows more than you realize…
Take your power back and live an empowering life
Some of the best advice I ever heard was this, “If she’s told you what she has been through, don’t put her through that again. If you do put her through it, you are selfish and not listening.”
Take note that some people are open books, and some people are illiterate
The wound is not your fault, but the healing is your responsibility
Don’t curse my scars when all they ever tried to do was heal me
Evaluate your scars and heal from the inside out
Mistakes are forgivable, patterns are not
Conversations in relationships need to have a resolution or compromise. Anger and aggression are toxic and ruin everything
Thriving in conflict is extremely unhealthy and toxic to anyone’s well-being
People let go when they are tired and they will no longer risk letting go of themselves
I am not required to set myself on fire to keep other people warm
I will not lose me to keep you
Effort and honesty are EVERYTHING…
There is nothing worse than self-betrayal. Listen to your intuition, it’s always right
Don’t trust everything you see, even salt looks like sugar; be very discerning. Ask questions
Every damn brick they try to throw at you, use it to stand on and use your voice
Never let them silence you or control you in any way shape or form
Be fearless and face the storm, lean in
Speak the truth, be courageous, set boundaries, give lots of self-care and self-love
I know my worth and I am honoring my spirit every single day
Own emotions, process them, and let them go. The path to true happiness
Get up and out of your comfy zone
Forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself
Loyalty and honesty are never too much to ask for in a relationship, it’s normal
Burning a bridge isn’t always a bad thing, you can never go back to what hurt you
Sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don’t care but because they don’t. Show some self-respect.
Anger taught me how to be calm
Aggression taught me how to speak up
Cruelty taught me self-kindness
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a serious red flag
When the past is still in the present, that’s another serious red flag
Unkind words about the past = a connection is still present and they won’t let go of the past, another serious red flag
Many red flags do not mean you are at a carnival, pay attention, they are dealbreakers
Look for green flags instead
Incessant whining, complaining, blaming is like living with a dysfunctional four-year-old that is stuck on repeat. No thanks.
Victim mentality is a lack of self-awareness which is annoying
When you are self-aware, you make the necessary changes in your life to move forward
Life is short
Setting healthy boundaries is self-protection and necessary in any relationship
Judging others reveals unhealed parts of yourself
It’s not my job to convince anyone to love me
You choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. That’s it.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time
You can’t be disrespectful and expect respect in return
Ignoring my intuition is self-betrayal; never again.
My inner peace is non-negotiable
The price you pay to avoid something will always be higher than the price you pay to face it head-on
Living in the past = living in denial. No chance for the present or future to come in. If you don’t let the past die, it won’t let you live today which translates to cheated opportunities and missed relationships
Flat out lying or lying by omission is the same destructive pinch that breaks trust
Hearing what someone says and seeing how they behave are two different things. Focus on the latter
Be accountable for your own shit, turn inward
Avoidance is for cowards
Entitlement and laziness are MAJOR turn-offs
It takes a strong person to ask for help. Be strong
The pain never leaves us, we have to leave the pain. Not everyone is capable of making this effort, even though it is necessary for any healthy relationship
The girl who takes care of everyone needs to be taken care of too. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you ever again
Besides, in a world where you can be anything, be kind
If it doesn’t feed your soul, then it’s time to go
Out with the old, in with the new, let it all go…
Onward and upward…
Amazing people are appearing and re-appearing in my life and my heart is so full of love and happiness ❤
Life is grand…
And just like the edge of the coin, the lessons and truth have set me free…
Thank you 2021!!!
The best is yet to come, let’s pop some champagne! ❤ Cheers ❤
** Hi everyone, how’s your October been? I am happy to say things are going GREAT for me and I am getting ready to write another book! Stay tuned and I appreciate the kindness and encouragement you’ve shown me all along. Have a listen to Adele’s new song Easy On Me and have a fantastic week! 🙂
It’s been over 3 years since I wrote the letter to my younger-self where I went back in time and gave my 21-year-old-self some advice on life. I was attempting to erase any scars, blame, and grief; but as you know, you can’t change the past, but you can create the future.
This letter to my future-self is my next attempt in life, which is an exercise in self-love, a means of preserving and protecting what’s important today and into the future.
So let’s see what age 65 might look like…
Dear Future Jen,
Well… you are approaching that magical age of 65 years young, and it’s like all the things you’ve been aiming for are finally coming together. What an amazing time to be living in Jen. So many changes have happened in your exciting life and with every ending, there’s been a new beginning. You’ve had to endure some pretty major events in your life, but look at you, here you are; smiling ear to ear, despite all that.
Kids- Some of the greatest milestones after giving birth are seeing your kids graduate, seeing them get married and then seeing them have their first child. By now, maybe you would have witnessed most of these accomplishments with Justin and Nathan. They are amazing and intelligent kids, and you are truly blessed. Continue to be loving and supportive of them so they can continue to be loving and supportive of you. These kids are your two greatest accomplishments in your life Jen. Remember to hold them close and show your love each and every day, just like you’ve done all along. It was a tough road for everyone with the divorce you endured but don’t dwell on the past, you had so many valuable life lessons in there and that’s all that matters. The relationship with you and their dad has improved with time, patience, and acceptance of what happened. You are in a great space now and you have the best kids in the world. Be grateful for what you have.
Fears- You used to be afraid of public speaking, but you conquered that one a long time ago. Now your fears are bigger than that and you manage to hide them well. The two biggest fears you have are getting cancer and dying. I think it’s safe to say you are not alone when you admit these, so good for you to be brave enough to say it because now your next step is to do something to keep yourself healthy. Perhaps others will follow.
Health-Eating and Exercise – You’ve always been very conscientious about eating well and exercising. There were a few times life was harder on you and you got off track but now you are back on and I’m so proud of you for making this a priority all these years. Give your body energy by eating good food that fuels you so you can burn it off at the gym. Also, continue to get enough sleep and take your vitamins.
Self-Care-One thing I can say about you Jen is that you still love getting your hair done! I don’t think that will ever change and honestly, why should it, right?! You will never let that gray hair show and that’s perfectly fine. Remember to practice self-care because it’s important and makes you feel great. Follow the pull, not the push. Keep it simple, self-care is how you take your power back young lady.
Saying No, Setting Boundaries- I certainly hope that by age 65 you learned how to say “No” and mean it. And while you’re at it, set some boundaries for yourself. The ’40s and ’50s are the trial years and you struggle here and there. Just like I tried to tell you in your ‘20s, “No” is a complete sentence, my dear. This is still true. Never, ever settle and walk away from what doesn’t respect you. You can detect a narcissist from miles away now, what a great skill to have!
Work-It’s been such an adventure at work for you Jen. Who would have thought that being a nurse would lead to being an expert witness for malpractice cases, then entering the pharmaceutical industry? It has certainly been an exciting time in this regard and you don’t have any regrets. The work relationships you made along each path have lasted a lifetime and what a gift that’s been for you. The health care industry taught you a wealth of knowledge that you will never forget. You chose a helping profession no matter which way you went and that’s because you are a compassionate person and it makes you happy. You are someone who has always been patient-focused right from the get-go. My only hope is there is someone like you who takes their work seriously and can care for you when it’s time.
Success/Failure-The best way I can describe success is because of failing at something. This is where you learned so many life lessons and made the decision to build on them like crazy. Good for you for having an open mind when new challenges came your way and you didn’t back down. Failing is never fun or easy but as long as you get back up, you are succeeding. You are also wise enough to know that being successful doesn’t make you happy, but being happy makes you successful.
Gratitude-As you know, gratitude brings you joy from within; even during the toughest moments of your life when things were falling apart, you managed to stay on track and find things you were grateful for. It’s during the worst times of your life, you need to practice gratitude because that’s what can change your perspective and shine a light in the dark. Continue to journal because it’s working.
Retirement-The time has come to complete your working years. Congratulations girl, you did it!! I hope you find a way to celebrate all your years of service in helping others. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back because you deserve it. Thanks to an entire team of financial planners and years of hard work! What a fantastic feeling to be in this position right now. Knowing you Jen, the only thing you are thinking about right now, is “Where can I travel to next and celebrate this amazing milestone in my life?” Just remember to spend your money wisely…
Travel-There you go, I was right! The world is your oyster now Jen, so get that travel app up and running! Time to start booking some trips since you’re still healthy and active. I can see you traveling with your kids, friends and also some solo trips as you’ve done in the past. You know people in so many countries, you can visit them as you go. How exciting is that? Pick some places you’ve always wanted to visit like New Zealand, Bora Bora and anywhere in South America. Get your passport and suitcase ready!
Relationships-Friends, Family-Another prize possession of yours is your circle of friends Jen. You have been blessed with loving people in your life both near and far who truly care about you and you about them. This alone is something huge to be grateful for. If you are still fortunate enough to have your family and parents with you, remember to tell them you love them. Spending good quality time with those you love is one of the most important things you can do in your life. Have those conversations you’ve been avoiding, now is the time to get it out. Communication is key in all relationships and being able to say how you feel is where you begin, so speak up Jen. Life is very short. You value honesty, integrity, respect, loyalty, kindness, compassion and attention. These values drive your behavior and it’s what you look for in others. Keep going…
Love/Heartbreak-This is the one area of your life that’s never been an easy one for you, unfortunately. I do hope that by the time you are 65 years young Jen, that you found that special someone whom you love and loves you right back with everything he’s got. Someone who sees your worth and doesn’t take advantage of you but treats you right because you definitely deserve it. He needs to take care of you because you will take care of him, that is for sure. Even though you are a successful woman with all the freedom in the world, it would be nice to share time with someone who adores you in an authentic way. At the same time, heartbreak has taught you many lessons and by now you know what you shouldn’t tolerate, so once again, don’t play their games and don’t settle, you’re better than that. The next guy has to be pretty damn amazing and put some effort in, or forget about it. You deserve a man who will pay attention to you and be there for you when you need it most. You’ve endured enough emotional days in this area, it’s time for some fantastic days instead. On the other hand, if the Universe has something else in mind for you to be on your own, then make the best of it and enjoy. Keep practicing self-love, either way.
Emotional Rescue-If you had a dollar for every emotional roller-coaster you’ve been on since day one Jen, you could have retired a long time ago! Ugh!! Thanks to writing and exercising it helped you get out of your funk very well. Remember this for the rest of your life because you never know how things will go and you really don’t want to look like the crazy one! You’ve come a long way with your “project-self” topics and now you can cope with life even better and take care of you the way you should. With love and compassion. Keep writing, it is such a great healing tool emotionally.
Unfinished Business-At this point, I don’t know what your unfinished business will be, but if there is any, my advice to you is to complete it and cross it off that list of yours. This is clutter in your life, that you don’t need, just deal with it and get it done. You’ll feel much better afterward.
Hobbies/Interests- You wrote a book after your divorce and what an accomplishment that was both mentally and emotionally. It’s almost like you creatively grieved it. Kudos to you for doing this and another book is in your future as well. The topics aren’t 100% clear quite yet but since writing is soul therapy for you, you have to do it. Not only does it help you, but it also helps others that are in line with your values once again. One of your latest hobbies is salsa dancing and my goodness, what a great time you’ve had, you are quite the dancing queen! I think you need to do a girls getaway vacation in South America first! Arriba!
Goals-Stop doing useless things, start doing new activities, continue doing your writing and travel. Practice self-care. Wear sunscreen. Love with all your heart. Repeat…
Hopes and Dreams-I hope you are living a life of peace, love, and happiness. That you have finally stepped into who you truly are and you are owning your life, Jen. That you are surrounded by everyone who matters to you in your heart of hearts, and in your dreams. In the end, it’s our close relationships that matter the most so take the time to cultivate them as best as you possibly can. I hope you and your kids are healthy and happy.
Advice-Live your life as authentically as humanly possible. Not because of others expectations, but be brave and do it for you. Work hard, but not too hard that you miss out on life, especially with your kids. Always practice a work-life balance. Be courageous and express how you feel to others. Put the time and effort into your friendships and family. Sometimes you need to break out of your comfort zone to be happy. Feeling stuck in anything with anyone isn’t worth it. Take the high road and apologize. Don’t play the victim or rescuer, they are so unattractive. Say I love you and mean it. In the end, it’s all about relationships with your kids, family, friends, at work and with yourself.
Regrets-If you follow the advice above, you won’t have any regrets 🙂 Honestly, everything happens for a reason and leads you to the next best thing, so take the good with the bad, it’s ok.
Questions-Let me think about it, I’ll let you know in some years from now 😛
I will carefully store this letter to my future self in a time capsule for later use. It will be interesting to read it years from now and see what rings true for me. In the meantime, I will continue to live my best life and honor my relationships with all my heart. After all, I’ve come this far, and there’s no turning back ❤
Your future looks bright, and you still have a long way to go…
Love Always ❤
**Copies of “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” are available at online bookstores worldwide. All my gratitude to you. Dare to live courageously…
Welcome to Hell, everyone, let’s have some fun! Today we are going in by the back door and listing all the possible ways to build an even worse Hell! What could be better than renovating that disgusting place and creating more torture? So pull up a wobbly chair with no cushion, have a warm beer with cold soup and here we go!
In order to identify values, sometimes we need to think backward. What does that mean exactly?
If you don’t know what your values are, all it takes is a violation and you will instantly feel what is right or wrong in your books.
Values are who we are at our core; right now, not who we wish we were. Values are what is important to us, they are the “why” to everything and drive our behavior. For example, some values might be, respect, considerate, honest, hardworking, loving, etc. They are one-word answers to who we are and how we live our lives. You can always add more values to your life with different experiences but they don’t change because they’re innate. Beliefs are the changers and the self-limiters but that’s not why we are here, let’s not go there.
Let’s get back to Hell…
All relationships are based on values whether it’s at work, with friends, family, love or yourself. Values define why that particular relationship is important to us and if they hold the same values we do.
If you aren’t sure what your values are then you will have a great time in Hell because this is where the clash happens and all the possibilities are negative, not to mention torturous! So let’s make a list of what Hell might look like in a relationship or at work:
Disrespect, discourage, dishonesty, ignored, stealing, lying, humiliation, harassment; just to name a few. How do you like living in Hell so far? Do any of these words rub you the wrong way? If that’s a yes, keep on reading little devil…
Try answering these questions; “What are some of the best forms of self-torture?” Or, “In the ideal Hell, people would never….” Or even, “In the ideal Hell, people would always try to…”
Feeling hot yet? How’s that warm beer? Are the flames getting a little too close for comfort down there? Good! Let’s flip this Hell right now.
Disrespect becomes respect, discourage becomes empower, dishonesty becomes honesty, ignored becomes appreciated, stealing becomes sharing, lying becomes trust, humiliation becomes pride, harassment becomes justice. Starting to feel better, more like home? I would hope these bold words resonate more with you than the Hell words do. Would these words be important in your relationships or at work? Why? Once you answer the “why” then you have defined your values. I’m sure you have more words in there… keep making your list!
What title would you give to your new world now that you’ve flipped it on its head? You get to decide.
Now flip those three questions around in a positive way and answer them with your new title; “What are some of the best forms of self-care?” Or, “In the ideal (title) people would never…” Or even, “In the ideal (title), people would always try to…”
Sometimes going in from the back door isn’t a bad thing after all. To know what we want, we need to define what we don’t want and to know who we are, we need to know who we are not. What we can tolerate. Plain and simple.
Thanks for playing Hell’s Bureaucracy, I hope you had fun and it helped. A cold beer would be nice right about now 😉
Much Love ❤
**Believe it or not, this is a life coaching tool to help people identify their values so they can improve their relationships in their personal and/or professional lives. It works well, I’ve even used it on myself! If you are interested in having a life coaching session with me, please send me an email at email@example.com
**If you are new to my blog or a treasured reader/follower, please be sure to check out my book “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” by Jennifer Green. Available at all online bookstores worldwide or FriesenPress online bookstore.
One morning I woke up to a very pleasant surprise to see that not one but two fellow bloggers had nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award! It was such a great way to start my day with my morning coffee 🙂
First, I would like to say a big thank you to Vandana for thinking of me and nominating me for this awesome award! If you haven’t checked her site Feelings and Freedom, please do because her posts are inspirational and she also writes Limericks such as Love, Passion and Imperfect. Two things I have in common with Vandana are that we both love music and reading.
Second, I would like to say a huge thank you to Tookii from Australia for nominating me for this amazing award and she is the youngest blogger I’ve come across in WordPress! She’s definitely under 10, adorable, on every social media site invented plus she has her own YouTube channel complete with vlogs! You really need to follow her and check out her site Join The Cub. She has posts from a kids point of view like great snacks for the car, night beach yoga and checking the chickens!
Recipient rules for the award:
Thank the person who nominated you
Answer 11 questions put forth by the nominator
Nominate 11 people for the award
Frame 11 questions for your nominees
My replies to the questions Vandana gave me:
What do you enjoy more-reading or writing? To be honest I enjoy writing more, it’s a way for me to get my thoughts and feelings sorted out when I am not sure about something. I do love reading though because it’s an escape from reality and into another world which is always good.
Which is your all-time favorite book? I love the Alchemist because it’s about a boy who goes far and away to find his treasure then realizes that his treasure is actually within himself. This book reminds me of life coaching very much and a good friend told me about it.
What/Who is your inspiration for writing? I love inspirational writers such as Marianne Williamson, Martha Beck, Cheryl Richardson, Tony Robbins and Gary Zukav. Some are life coaches and since I am too, I can connect with their words.
When was the last time you did something for the first time and what was it? I just went zip lining for Mother’s Day this year and it was a 3.5 hour climb and zip lining time in the mountains. I actually survived it and had a great time. I was the only mom up there I can tell you that!
What is your biggest regret in life, if any? Not knowing how to set boundaries for myself. Now I know, I learned the hard way but at least I learned.
If you were given a chance to fulfill two of your wishes, what would they be? I would wish for two more wishes so that I would have four.
Do you like to cook? Yes I do and I am a big foodie. I can cook and bake anything and I love it.
Who is the most important person in your life? My two boys.
Who is your favorite author? Paulo Coelho. I love him and his books he is just an amazing and inspiring person with the most beautiful thoughts. I connect with his writing very much.
Do you believe in God? Yes I do. I also believe He has a plan for all of us and that we are where we are supposed to be at all times. We can’t see His plan but we can live it.
Do you like to travel? Yes I love traveling. I recently went to India this past January and had an amazing time, it was a healing and unforgettable experience and I also met 8 blogging friends while I was there! Otherwise I travel with my kids everywhere.
My replies to the questions Tookii gave me:
What was your favorite source of comfort growing up (pet, place, person, thing)? I would have to say it was my Scottish Terrier dog named Kiltae. She was so calm and a really good family pet, we used to go for long walks together.
What is your favorite childhood memory? Growing up we had a pool so spending the entire summer swimming and playing in the pool with my friends is my favorite childhood memory. And eating watermelon after all that swimming 😀
If you could give any one thing to the world what would it be? World Peace ❤
The one piece of advice you would give to your younger self? “Have more self-confidence you are stronger than you think you are, you can do this.”
What are you most likely to do while sitting by the fire on a rainy day? Read a really good book with a cup of hot chocolate and whipped cream! Then fall asleep!
Pancakes or Waffles? Waffles!!!!!!! YUMM! With syrup of course 😛
Is 12 noon AM or PM? Very tricky question here….it depends I suppose. I’ll say PM
What was your favorite childhood activity? I always played sports and during my childhood I did track and field events. I would try to run like the wind!
Are you happy? Yes, now I am.
Why? Why not? Actually I always look for the life lesson in everything so in the end that makes me happy. Everything happens for a reason Tookii, always remember this one 😉
What would you do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail? I would love to live and work in a different country every two years so I could explore the world as much as possible. Maybe I will make it to Australia one day!
I would like to nominate:
Anyone who would like to participate and you can answer the same questions as above 🙂
Thank you again Vandana and Tookii for the nomination!! You both inspire me very much ❤ ❤
I am so excited to be nominated a second time this month for the Liebster Award and I would like to thank my sweet friend and fellow blogger extraordinaire from beautiful India, Bhavya Mishra https://chicwithmessybun.wordpress.com/
Bhavya, you have the best URL name!
Here are the rules to be followed:
Once you are nominated, make a post thanking and linking the person who nominated you.
Include the Liebster Award sticker in the post too.
Nominate 5 -10 other bloggers who you feel are worthy of this award. Let them know they have been nominated by commenting on one of their posts. You can also nominate the person who nominated you.
Ensure all of these bloggers have less than 200 followers.
If you could go to the future, where would it be? And why? I have always wanted to go to Fiji. The white sandy beaches against the turquoise crystal clear water is so beautiful. I love the hotel huts that sit over the ocean and have glass bottom floors so when you are in your hotel room, you can see the fish swimming under you. I know I will get there one day!
What is your western zodiac sign? I am a Capricorn which falls between December 22nd – January 19th I was born Dec. 29th and the year is not that important! 😉 Capricorns are known for being hard working, loving, patient and resourceful. We don’t have any bad habits… LOL!
What was the turning point of your life? I have had many but if I had to name the first one, it was when I became a Registered Nurse in the Operating Room. This profession opened my eyes and heart to people who truly needed help because they were either injured or sick and needed to heal with as much help as possible. I felt like I could make a difference and even though there were times when I felt scared to do something, I did it anyway and it has helped me to this day in dealing with different events. I have more compassion inside of me because of being a nurse which I am very grateful for.
What is the most important thing to you? That’s an easy one. Honesty and Trust. There’s a great quote about honesty; “being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.” ~John Lennon. And another great quote about trust; “Trust is like a paper, once it’s crumpled up, it can’t be perfect again.” ~ Unknown
Who is your favorite blogger? You can’t dodge or give a diplomatic answer to this one. Not allowed. Very interesting question here. Well, I have to say that I REALLY love all the young WP bloggers from all around the world. I can’t believe how insightful, wise and open hearted people are at such young ages. Bravo to you my friends! I’m very impressed and I love your style on how you write blogs, poetry and how you express your thoughts and feelings. It’s nice to see both men and women pouring their hearts out on love and heartbreak at such a young age, it’s beautiful. Did I dodge that one?
My questions to my nominees:
Imagine it’s your 80th birthday and all your friends and family are present for your celebration. There will be a tribute being made in your honor, what would you like to hear people say about you?
If your house was on fire and you had only minutes to get out, what 3 things would you grab first and why?
If you could choose to be one animal in the animal kingdom, which one would it be and why?
Imagine you just had the most perfect day of your life. Looking back on your day, what happened?
What is your favorite ice cream? (this one’s easy )
Thank you for participating in the Liebster Award, I purposely chose only a few questions so you can complete this and I can’t wait to see all your answers soon! No excuses! 😉
I love WordPress and everyone here …
Thanks again Bhavya, A.K.A Chicwithmessybun , you’re awesome! 🙂
This is a common question I hear from people who have never experienced a life coaching session and with good reason. Everyone knows what psychology is but not everyone knows what life coaching is all about. I thought I would write a blog to help hack into this world for you. 🙂
Life coaching is about helping you achieve a desired goal and finding the inspiration and motivation to get you from the present moment to the future. Think of an athlete you follow, he or she has a coach right? Imagine if they didn’t. Where would they be? Coaches motivate, help keep you on track, strive for better and keep you accountable using different techniques and tools. Life coaching is no different except there are no push ups involved, unless this is your desired goal. 😉
I would like to give an example of a coaching call using some key questions I ask that can get the wheels in your mind turning and possibly burning. 😉 So let’s get cracking!
“What is the one goal you would love to achieve in your life right now? In other words, what do you want more of in your life? Fill in the blank; “I want _______________”
“What if time and money weren’t an issue for you, what would you like to have or do?”
The first few questions represent stating what you want in your life. The power to dream big. Many people have never been asked this question before and have a hard time pinning something down because they think they don’t have the right to ask for what they want. If you are like this, rest assured you are not alone. You do have the right to be happy and be free to go after what you want. Give this question some real thought and state your awesome goal.
“Why is that goal important to you?”
“What is the deeper meaning of having this for you?”
“What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?”
Ahhh.. the “Why” and legacy question, my favorites of all. This is where your values come into play and the reasons you give as to why you want to achieve something are coming from your heart. It’s where we keep our values close to who we are because our values define us. It’s important to know your values in life because they guide your behavior. Plus if you realize this goal is not very important to you, chances are you will never achieve it. Pssst…choose something important!
“On a scale of 1 -10 with 1 being not at all and 10 being you’ve got it, where would you say you are on the scale in reaching this goal right now?”
“What does that number represent or look like? You fill in the blank; “the number ____ represents __________”
“Where would you ultimately like to be on that scale?”
Scaling your goal is very useful because it allows you to see where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It’s measureable. You can track your progress by doing this several times and it also produces motivation and inspiration within to keep you moving forward.
“What are some capabilities and abilities that you already have and can use to reach your goal?”
“What are some of your transferrable skills?”
“How would you and your friends and family describe you?”
“What are some capabilities and abilities that you still need to be able to reach your goal?”
These questions pin point the skills and abilities you already have to get you there and what you still need which is important to know because you need to look at it from all angles. The majority of people when they list their have’s and needs, the have’s list usually wins. Therefore, you have more going for you than you even realized.
“Imagine it’s six months from now and you have successfully reached your goal. What does that look and feel like?”
“If you could take one small action step that could bring you closer to your goal, what would that be?”
Ok here’s the fun part. Now that you know what you have to do and need to do, the question is HOW do you do it? This is where the rubber hits the road for most people. They put the brakes on and don’t move because of fear. Go back to the why is that important to you question again and get inspired.
You gotta walk the talk.
Make sure when you choose a small action step it is specific, measureable, attainable, relevant and timely. In other words, make it easy. Action steps start out small and you don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just need to take the first step. Every step counts in reaching your goal and remember, that one small step can shift everything!
“What else can you do?”
Dig deep and keep asking this question over and over….you get the point.
“How will you hold yourself accountable for doing the action steps you stated?”
Ask a friend or co-worker to check up on you to make sure you did what you said you would do.
“What could possibly stand in your way in being able to reach this goal?”
Usually it’s us. If you have the determination to get it done, nothing can stand in your way.
“When will you take this action step?”
Make sure you set a specific date and mark it down somewhere. Otherwise if you say you will do it later or sometime this month, guess what will happen? Nada, zip, nothing.
“Where will you be working to reach your goal?”
Sometimes people will be at their current workplace, maybe at home or anywhere really. It depends on the goal. State it and write it down. You’re doing great!
After answering these questions you can go back to your scale and see where you are on the line now. Even if you have only moved 0.5 up on the scale, it counts as evidence and a step forward. Celebrate! You are moving in the right direction and are closer to your goal already!
Feeling motivated yet?
Now your life coach holds you accountable for your action steps and will be checking on you to see if you have completed what you said you would do. Each weekly session is a review of the last and involves making more plans for the future. This is how you move forward by tracking progress with your pen and paper or computer. Usually a number of sessions are necessary to get the results you want.
After you happily reach your goal and are living the dream, your notes are available to you from all the work we did together and you can look back at how far you’ve come since that day you had this idea in mind. Years later, you can review it again and again and be proud of yourself for all your answers, hard work, determination, perseverance and motivation. You did it!
Saturday morning I had a beautiful surprise waiting for me in my inbox when I woke up! One of my fellow amazing bloggers, Khushboo Singh at https://khushbuwrites.wordpress.com/ nominated me for a Liebster Award! 🙂
Khushboo, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for thinking of me and including me in your choices of world bloggers! I think you are a wonderful writer and an awesome person! 🙂
THE RULES: (you can copy and paste these)
– Insert the Liebster award logo in your post
– Thank and link those who nominated you
– (After reading the official rules) You also have to reveal 11 interesting facts about yourself!
– Answer the questions designated by the blogger who nominated you
– Nominate up to 11 other new bloggers with less than 100 followers
– Ask 11 questions of your own to your nominees that they have to answer
– Notify your nominees about The Liebster Award
– Include instructions of the process in your post
11 Interesting Facts About Me!
I love to cook and eat every type of food from many countries. Thank goodness I’m not picky!
Due to this love affair with food, I am addicted to fitness such as Zumba, PiYo and walking forever with my music in nature. It’s all under control 🙂
My favorite compliment is “you look younger than your age..” HA! I’ve been 29 for a long time 😉
I am a Registered Nurse and a Life Coach. Yep, two helping professions all rolled up into one!
100% Canadian girl and I speak English and French. My English is much better by the way…
I was married before but now I’m not. Now you know 😉 There’s a silver lining in everything…
I have two amazing boys whom I love and they love me every day
Quotes inspire me like crazy
I love the rain, especially thunderstorms
Travel is my escape and I plan on doing that very soon and often
I believe everything happens for a reason and there are no coincidences in life, only miracles
Questions Khushboo asked me and my replies:
What’s the strangest talent you have? I used to be able to play the piano with my eyes closed..
Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you? Poems yes, songs no.
What was your childhood nickname? Good question, I honestly don’t remember!
What’s the weirdest thing you have done in your life till now? Sing karaoke in public, maybe this answer should also go in question #7! Haha!
Name something you do when you’re alone that you wouldn’t do in front of others. Eat ice cream out of the container with a spoon! I can’t believe I just wrote that…
Do you have any strange phobias? Nothing scares me or grosses me out, I’m a nurse right? 😉
Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted? Yes, my son dared me to go on Space Mountain at Disney in Florida. He was fine but my life flashed before my eyes 100 times!
What is the purpose behind your blog? To write about things we all deal with in life so we know we’re not alone but connected. Nobody is perfect and writing about it is healing
Choose one- Sleeping or eating? (sorry, can’t think of anything else) Eating for sure, hands down!
Your lucky number? 11
Your life’s motto? When dealing with a difficult situation, I live by the saying; “The only way out is through it.”
Imagine the word LOVE written in giant letters on a movie screen, when you see this word up there, what do you feel or think of?
If you could travel anywhere in the world and money was not an issue, where would you go and why?
What is your favorite food(s)?
How do you use your creativity?
What languages do you speak?
What is your favorite thing to do on your day off?
What do you try to avoid doing?
Do you have any pets? If yes which kind and if no, what kind would you like to have?
And that’s it! I hope you all have fun answering these questions and passing around the award! Keep blogging because I love reading your stuff, it really inspires me and inspiration is what life is all about! We’re all in this together. 🙂