5 Years Under The Microscope

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As of today, it’s been 5 years since my marriage ended, and I couldn’t be happier.  As strange as that may sound, let me explain why.

Separation and divorce are never wished upon anyone but if you are in the middle of one now, you need to find the silver lining and blessings it has for you and your new life because trust me, they’re there.  That’s not to say you have to skip the grieving process, in fact, you must go through it to get over it, that I know for sure.  Everyone grieves differently and takes their own amount of time to do so and my one piece of advice is to be patient during the process.  Once you do accept that it happened, you are able to move onto the silver lining stage.

In the beginning for some, an amicable conversation can take place where both sides agree to separate and live their own lives.  On the other hand for some, it’s often a total shock you didn’t see coming.  This is exactly what happened to me; I was blindsided.  However, the day he left was the day I arrived.  This was the part where I found out who I was and what I was made of.  Divorce has put my life under the microscope for the past 5 years and I had no choice but to examine it closely.

Relationships are like a microscope looking into our emotional wellbeing.  These relationships shine a light on the old and open wounds still begging for closure.  Once I was on my own, it was time for me to take a long, hard look at myself and where I came from.  What did I have to do to become the person I was meant to be?  On the flip side, what did I have to let go of in unbecoming the person I thought I was?  I went from being shut down and pleasing to a woman who became vocal with boundaries.  This led me to let go of toxicity and hang on to love so that healing could take place.

I’m a firm believer that anything you lose comes around in another form, whether that’s through friendship, a love relationship, partnership, or even self-love.  Basically, you get to genuinely meet yourself for the very first time, once and for all. This is the greatest silver lining and blessing in disguise because that’s where you discover what you truly want and need in life.  What makes you happy, how, who, and why.  It also shines a light on what are your dealbreakers now.  All that time under the microscope finally paid off, and I think I gained some years back in my life.  How fantastic is that?  Time to celebrate, cheers!

“Leave some room in your heart for the unimaginable”  ~ Mary Oliver

Much Love ❤

Jen
XO

~ Dare to live courageously…

**I recently wrote an article that was published in the online magazine Thought Catalog and it is titled “An Open Letter To Pain:  I Think I’m Ready To Let You Go”  Have a wonderful weekend everyone 🙂

**As always, copies of “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” are available in all formats at online bookstores worldwide.  All my gratitude to YOU xx

Free Giveaway: Happy 1st Anniversary!

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It’s been a wonderful year of making great memories with friends, family and my book, “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak.”  Never in a million years did I ever think I would write a book but because of a loss, I decided to make something positive out of something difficult.

On Tuesday, May 29th, 2018, it will be the first anniversary of my first book release and to show all my gratitude, I wanted to do something special to mark the occasion with all of you.  Therefore, I will be holding a free giveaway and there will be two (2) winners.  For those living in Canada, one winner will receive a personally signed paperback copy and for those living anywhere outside of Canada, the winner will receive a pdf version along with a personalized note from me 🙂

Anyone can enter to win between now and midnight EST Monday, May 28th, 2018.  The winners will be selected and contacted on Tuesday, May 29th, 2018.  Thank you in advance to everyone who participates!  It’s going to be fun, you don’t want to miss out!

Rules for the giveaway, you can choose one or more options:

  1. Follow my blog, like, and comment in the comment box
  2. Follow my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram page; like, tweet and/or comment on the post
  3. You will need to provide your email and/or mailing details in a private message if you win
  4. If you write a book review, that counts as two submissions and I’ll post it on my website
  5. Have fun and good luck everyone!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone again from the depth of my heart and soul for all your love and support on this discovery journey I have been on for the last three and a half years.  If you or someone you know is going through the searing pain of separation or divorce, maybe this book could be helpful and show you are not alone ❤

Dare to live courageously…

Much Love ❤

Jen
*As always, copies are available for purchase through FriesenPress or any online bookstore worldwide.

‘Twas Many Nights Before Christmas

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‘Twas many nights before Christmas and all through my head
Several single mom thoughts were stirring, while I lay here in my bed;
The stockings were hung by the tree with care,
In hopes,  “Mr. Genuine Guy” soon would be there;

The children were nestled all cozy in their beds,
While visions of Fitbits danced in their heads;
I’m the mamma in my pyjamas, I don’t wear a cap,
I just settled down for a short power nap,

When out on the patio a loud BANG was heard,
I jumped out of bed screaming a four-letter-word!
Away to the window I marched right over,
Flung open the curtains and saw a Range Rover!

The full moon in the sky and the snow on the ground,
Gave the impression that Christmas was somewhere around,
When what do my wondering, tired eyes should appear,
But a group of my friends, with nothing but cheers,

One of the ringleaders, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that funny chick.
More rapid than hummingbirds, they all flocked around,
And we gave big gratitude hugs for the friendships we found;

Let’s be honest, life can be tough as a single parent,
When finding your path and dating if you dare it.
But support  systems are the best when we feel at our worst,
Christmas helps our hearts fill with love, then let it happily burst;

We are all in this world together, you are never alone,
Love yourself and your kids right down to your bones;
Finding a mate will happen on its own,
There’s no need to settle, you’ve already flown ❤

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

 

All My Love and Gratitude ❤

Jen
XO

**If you or someone you know is going through a separation or divorce during this Christmas season, please know I understand that pain all too well.  The thing that got me through it all was writing down how I felt and then turning it into something positive which is how my book “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” was born.  It’s about how I coped by finding light in the dark.  Please know you are not alone and consider reading my book by heading over to any online bookstore worldwide or the FriesenPress online bookstore.

Happy holidays and dare to live courageously…

 

 

 

Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak

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Well, it’s been over a year since I started this journey of writing my first book.  Never in a million years did I think this dream would be happening or right around the corner, but it’s getting much closer to being complete!

As it stands right now, my publisher at FriesenPress is putting the final copyright touches on my book and pretty soon, it will be available through their online bookstore and by June, it will be available on every online platform worldwide!!!

I can’t even control my excitement, having my book released will be something meaningful for me because I managed to turn on a light while being in the dark, I flipped the negatives into positives, and my main goals were to heal myself while helping others in return 🙂

I am sharing a piece of the book cover in the above photo and I would also like to share the Preface from my book with all of you, just to give you a taste of what’s to come, very, very soon.  I hope you like it and once the book is out, I will pass on all the links to where you can find it.  I am planning a book launch and once it is organized I will give you the details on that as well.

Thank you so very much for all your true love and support ❤

 

Preface

As I wrote my book, I was inspired while reading By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho.  Apparently, in his book, there is a legend where everything that falls into the waters of this river is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed.  When you write out your feelings, it is the pen that shoots flames onto paper and bleeds from your soul.  Once it is written, it is tossed into the cold water to extinguish those flames and take away your suffering.  All of my tears and pain could be let go of and washed away by performing this beautiful gesture in a river close to my home.  All I had to do was finish writing my book and head down to the riverbank which is exactly what I did on a cool October afternoon.   As a symbol and blessing to myself, I tossed a copy of my flaming and bleeding manuscript into the frigid waters to extinguish my lingering suffering and have it washed far away.  As tears rolled down my cold cheeks into the river, I saw the manuscript flow with the current, and I imagined it turning to stone sinking far from here, becoming another rock at the bottom of the riverbed.  In that very moment, I suddenly felt the chill in the air, I released everything and let go, and the bleeding in my heart finally stopped.

My name is Jennifer Green and this is my story of how I dealt with my separation and divorce and how I overcame adversity by self-reflection and found the silver linings in my crumbling life events.  It’s not a book of venting or blaming.  It’s about my journey to recovery, accepting my own responsibilities and how I kept a positive outlook and learned some life lessons while living through the most difficult time of my life.  For every chapter I have written in this book during 2016, I am including a blog I wrote on my website in real time with the real emotion of what I was going through in 2015 and 2016.  Therefore, these chapters are the real and personal stories behind the blogs I wrote, alongside my reflections now.

We all fall down in life and I admit I have fallen many times which is painful and hurts so much.  It’s normal to stay down for a while but eventually, you need to get back up and face reality.  This requires some action steps and commitment. But for some, this is where the rubber fails to hit the road.  They may know what they need to do but they can’t even begin to even try.  I know how hard that is because there were times I felt the same way, but I realized that by keeping an open mind and open heart I may fall again and what’s important is finding the strength to keep rising with an incredible support system.

If you’ve ever had a relationship end in a traumatic way and change your world or if you are in the middle of one right now, rest assured you are not alone, I can sympathize and empathize with you and I am by your side.

We can walk through this together.

Thank you so much for joining me on my journey and welcome to my world.

~Jennifer Green