Welcome to Hell, everyone, let’s have some fun! Today we are going in by the back door and listing all the possible ways to build an even worse Hell! What could be better than renovating that disgusting place and creating more torture? So pull up a wobbly chair with no cushion, have a warm beer with cold soup and here we go!
In order to identify values, sometimes we need to think backward. What does that mean exactly?
If you don’t know what your values are, all it takes is a violation and you will instantly feel what is right or wrong in your books.
Values are who we are at our core; right now, not who we wish we were. Values are what is important to us, they are the “why” to everything and drive our behavior. For example, some values might be, respect, considerate, honest, hardworking, loving, etc. They are one-word answers to who we are and how we live our lives. You can always add more values to your life with different experiences but they don’t change because they’re innate. Beliefs are the changers and the self-limiters but that’s not why we are here, let’s not go there.
Let’s get back to Hell…
All relationships are based on values whether it’s at work, with friends, family, love or yourself. Values define why that particular relationship is important to us and if they hold the same values we do.
If you aren’t sure what your values are then you will have a great time in Hell because this is where the clash happens and all the possibilities are negative, not to mention torturous! So let’s make a list of what Hell might look like in a relationship or at work:
Disrespect, discourage, dishonesty, ignored, stealing, lying, humiliation, harassment; just to name a few. How do you like living in Hell so far? Do any of these words rub you the wrong way? If that’s a yes, keep on reading little devil…
Try answering these questions; “What are some of the best forms of self-torture?” Or, “In the ideal Hell, people would never….” Or even, “In the ideal Hell, people would always try to…”
Feeling hot yet? How’s that warm beer? Are the flames getting a little too close for comfort down there? Good! Let’s flip this Hell right now.
Disrespect becomes respect, discourage becomes empower, dishonesty becomes honesty, ignored becomes appreciated, stealing becomes sharing, lying becomes trust, humiliation becomes pride, harassment becomes justice. Starting to feel better, more like home? I would hope these bold words resonate more with you than the Hell words do. Would these words be important in your relationships or at work? Why? Once you answer the “why” then you have defined your values. I’m sure you have more words in there… keep making your list!
What title would you give to your new world now that you’ve flipped it on its head? You get to decide.
Now flip those three questions around in a positive way and answer them with your new title; “What are some of the best forms of self-care?” Or, “In the ideal (title) people would never…” Or even, “In the ideal (title), people would always try to…”
Sometimes going in from the back door isn’t a bad thing after all. To know what we want, we need to define what we don’t want and to know who we are, we need to know who we are not. What we can tolerate. Plain and simple.
Thanks for playing Hell’s Bureaucracy, I hope you had fun and it helped. A cold beer would be nice right about now 😉
Much Love ❤
**Believe it or not, this is a life coaching tool to help people identify their values so they can improve their relationships in their personal and/or professional lives. It works well, I’ve even used it on myself! If you are interested in having a life coaching session with me, please send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
**If you are new to my blog or a treasured reader/follower, please be sure to check out my book “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” by Jennifer Green. Available at all online bookstores worldwide or FriesenPress online bookstore.
~ Dare to live courageously…