David Kessler, author, and grieving expert published many books on grief and loss. He talks about the new step called Finding Meaning and asks:
“Is it possible to find light in the dark? Is it possible to be the light in the dark? Is it possible to find meaning in trauma, death, loss? When you can accept what happened, that’s when you can find meaning And that’s when you find light in the dark Meaning is not in the death, trauma, or loss, it’s in us and what we do with it Gratitude is about the person, not the trauma, death, loss.”
Ever since my dad passed, it’s strange, I feel like a little girl all over again, but with pain, sadness, and so much vulnerability. Some people understand but others not so much. Grief takes time and everyone is different
My inner child is listening carefully to how I speak to myself. I need kindness and compassion, I am still very fragile
I’ll always remember sitting around your bed that day, breathing the same air as you, what a privilege
There was this transfer of pain in that silent collapse, from you to me
You looked so calm and peaceful on the outside
The heavens changed that day and so did my world
You got your open door to your next spiritual journey
Now I watch for omens like cardinals, feathers, songs, and numbers, hoping it’s you reassuring me you’re ok
I want to take all your advice and use it in my personal and professional life
“Be confident, don’t convince anyone of your worth if they are too blind to see it, give and expect respect, care for others, tell the truth, and when you love, include yourself in that equation”
You said, “If you find yourself thinking you’re asking for too much from someone, maybe you should ask yourself if you’re asking the wrong person.”
Like Joni Mitchell’s song Both Sides Now, I’ve looked at life/love from both sides now
You said I used to ask a million questions, this is true and I still have many more
I lit a candle for you today dad, and remembered all the great memories through the tears
In my mind, I captured a collection of moments, sealed them in clear glass jars, and carefully lined them on a special shelf I can see from my bed
I imagine tying a navy blue silk ribbon around each one, that reminds me of the days you wore ties when I was a little girl
Whenever I want to visit those memories and moments, the clear glass makes it possible
I’m on my own journey of finding meaning…
My wish for you is to take a shot at the moon, take a trip to the sun
Paint the sky with your fingertips at sunrise and sunset
Why not add some sparkle in the night sky on your journey
I want to feel your presence in nature, thunderstorms, the wind
Even snowstorms like the one we had the day you departed…
You said that was a good omen
Thank you for giving me what you could as a dad, for re-introducing me to the love of writing, for attending my track and field meets for over 13 years, a swimming pool, learning how to water ski, playing piano, always listening, and for just being you
Maybe one of these days I’ll learn to acquire a taste for a good scotch or gin like you did
Then again, let’s see…
If that day ever happens, I’ll sip it at sunset on the water with you, listening to Both Sides Now
This one’s for you dad…cheers…
Love you ❤
Jen XO
*On Friday, February 4th, 2022, my dad passed away from prostate cancer. He qualified for the MAID procedure which he had and passed peacefully. As a nurse, this was something medical to watch and as a daughter, it was so painful to watch. One of my favorite quotes is this; “We have two lives and the second one begins when we realize we only have one.” ~ Confucius
“He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. ~ Chinese Proverb
In my book, “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” I talk about a coin having not only two sides, but three. Heads, tails, and the edge. The two sides represent two different points of view from two people opposing each other; heads and tails. However, the edge represents the truth, facts, or reality behind a situation that is often avoided, overlooked, or hidden. On the edge of truth or reality, are the reasons that run deeper than both points of view. Therefore, the possibility of gaining a new perspective is there to consider, but only when you have an open mind and heart, is when you can own your behaviors and the role you played in the relationship. I’m talking about accountability and responsibility. We are no longer insecure toddlers saying, “not me!” Or at least we shouldn’t be. After all, it’s the truth on that skinny little edge that will set you free, if you dare to go there.
Lessons Learned in 2021:
Do you know what’s interesting? You can’t invite something or someone new in your heart until you create the space for it. To do that means doing the work to heal from your past over a good amount of time, then letting it go for good
Stuffing the past inside never works; it causes toxic emotional constipation and that’s not fair to the next person involved because it always comes out later as an emotional explosion. Who wants that?
Be wise enough to know how important self-love and self-respect are and they will guide you on what to do to heal
If someone tries to play mind games, create doubts, have sneaky conversations, or show inconsistencies, RUN! Kenny Rogers was right all along
Continue setting boundaries. They protect your mind, heart, body, and soul. If someone gets angry with your boundaries, then all the more reason to have them
If you ever notice a man using you for your money, get out ASAP. That’s just pathetic, unattractive, and downright scary! Never be a sugar mama
Always remember, when words don’t match actions and they twist it to blame you, that’s called manipulation
When people are not accountable, that’s called gaslighting
When someone labels others crazy or mental, that’s called projection which means they are describing themselves, not the other person
It’s not wise to play with fire, it only takes one tiny match to burn the whole thing down. Unless you don’t care
The ones who give the impression of nothing, tells you everything
You have to learn when your part is over in someone’s story
This chapter is called MAKE ROOM
Relationships are not always meant to be forever, they are here for a reason, a season, and to teach us many lessons. Learn the lessons
Know what you need and want and go for it
Trust the Universe, it knows more than you realize…
Take your power back and live an empowering life
Some of the best advice I ever heard was this, “If she’s told you what she has been through, don’t put her through that again. If you do put her through it, you are selfish and not listening.”
Take note that some people are open books, and some people are illiterate
The wound is not your fault, but the healing is your responsibility
Don’t curse my scars when all they ever tried to do was heal me
Evaluate your scars and heal from the inside out
Mistakes are forgivable, patterns are not
Conversations in relationships need to have a resolution or compromise. Anger and aggression are toxic and ruin everything
Thriving in conflict is extremely unhealthy and toxic to anyone’s well-being
People let go when they are tired and they will no longer risk letting go of themselves
I am not required to set myself on fire to keep other people warm
I will not lose me to keep you
Effort and honesty are EVERYTHING…
There is nothing worse than self-betrayal. Listen to your intuition, it’s always right
Don’t trust everything you see, even salt looks like sugar; be very discerning. Ask questions
Every damn brick they try to throw at you, use it to stand on and use your voice
Never let them silence you or control you in any way shape or form
Be fearless and face the storm, lean in
Speak the truth, be courageous, set boundaries, give lots of self-care and self-love
I know my worth and I am honoring my spirit every single day
Own emotions, process them, and let them go. The path to true happiness
Get up and out of your comfy zone
Forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself
Loyalty and honesty are never too much to ask for in a relationship, it’s normal
Burning a bridge isn’t always a bad thing, you can never go back to what hurt you
Sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don’t care but because they don’t. Show some self-respect.
Anger taught me how to be calm
Aggression taught me how to speak up
Cruelty taught me self-kindness
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a serious red flag
When the past is still in the present, that’s another serious red flag
Unkind words about the past = a connection is still present and they won’t let go of the past, another serious red flag
Many red flags do not mean you are at a carnival, pay attention, they are dealbreakers
Look for green flags instead
Incessant whining, complaining, blaming is like living with a dysfunctional four-year-old that is stuck on repeat. No thanks.
Victim mentality is a lack of self-awareness which is annoying
When you are self-aware, you make the necessary changes in your life to move forward
Life is short
Nobody’s perfect
Setting healthy boundaries is self-protection and necessary in any relationship
Judging others reveals unhealed parts of yourself
It’s not my job to convince anyone to love me
You choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. That’s it.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time
You can’t be disrespectful and expect respect in return
Ignoring my intuition is self-betrayal; never again.
My inner peace is non-negotiable
The price you pay to avoid something will always be higher than the price you pay to face it head-on
Living in the past = living in denial. No chance for the present or future to come in. If you don’t let the past die, it won’t let you live today which translates to cheated opportunities and missed relationships
Flat out lying or lying by omission is the same destructive pinch that breaks trust
Hearing what someone says and seeing how they behave are two different things. Focus on the latter
Be accountable for your own shit, turn inward
Avoidance is for cowards
Entitlement and laziness are MAJOR turn-offs
It takes a strong person to ask for help. Be strong
The pain never leaves us, we have to leave the pain. Not everyone is capable of making this effort, even though it is necessary for any healthy relationship
The girl who takes care of everyone needs to be taken care of too. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you ever again
Besides, in a world where you can be anything, be kind
If it doesn’t feed your soul, then it’s time to go
Out with the old, in with the new, let it all go…
Onward and upward…
Amazing people are appearing and re-appearing in my life and my heart is so full of love and happiness ❤
Life is grand…
And just like the edge of the coin, the lessons and truth have set me free…
Thank you 2021!!!
The best is yet to come, let’s pop some champagne! ❤ Cheers ❤
** Hi everyone, how’s your October been? I am happy to say things are going GREAT for me and I am getting ready to write another book! Stay tuned and I appreciate the kindness and encouragement you’ve shown me all along. Have a listen to Adele’s new song Easy On Me and have a fantastic week! 🙂
Empty your heart, dear one
Release all the blockages and pain
Tell me everything
I’m listening…
Untangle the pain and suffering
It’s interesting how messy things can get
How we keep packing one thing on top of another without realizing it
Unpack what you don’t need anymore
Years of accumulated emotions, unspoken words, lost opportunities, secrets, and guilt
They all hold us hostage and they are weighing you down my friend
You let it hurt, now let it go
Bleed it all out…
If you want to be free, learn the lessons
What is life trying to teach you right now
You may not know the answer yet, but in time you will
Dust off your heart and clean it up for new possibilities
Cracks from heartbreak are just that; cracks
You still have a pulse and blood pressure; you’re alive
Anything is possible…
Four chambers pump life into you every single day
Stop the decay and start the growth
Throw away the whip and wrap compassion around yourself instead
Slow down, listen to your heart and trust what it’s telling you
You can do this, you really can
Talk it out
Cry, scream, run, walk, dance, sing, write, draw, laugh
Do whatever it takes to empty your heart
Make space and fill it with love, compassion, peace, happiness, healing, gratitude, and forgiveness
Most of all, make room for those magical moments
For what is real, because that’s what life is all about
Open your eyes and relax
Listen…
A “yes” or a “no” can change one’s life forever
Remember that…
It’s not your previous life or relationship you miss, it’s the routine
Get out of your head
And empty your heart…
❤
Much Love,
Jen
**This blog is dedicated to my dear friend Danielle Lewis in North Carolina who like all of us, is learning how to empty her heart each and every day and she is doing a lovely job! Not only has she started her own healing journey, but she also created her own podcast called Mom’s Still Standing. Please be sure to subscribe to it on iTunes or Spotify. She even has me on there as a guest speaker! I think we can all relate to emptying our hearts at one time or another and just like how we spring clean at home, we need to do the same thing with ourselves. Have a great week everyone ❤
Evening summer walks are my favorite because things are quieter, calm, and the sun is less intense. I feel HAPPY.
As I walk down the street, I see a house and the address is DENIAL. I suddenly feel a pain in my chest and rehearse those words in my head again out of nowhere. “This can’t be happening, don’t worry about it.” I think of what I lost and keep walking.
As I turn the corner onto the next street, I see another house and the address is BARGAINING. I suddenly feel a lump in my throat and remember how desperate I was trying to hold on and make a deal. “If you can just tell me how I can fix this, then everything will be ok.” The loss feels heavy but I keep walking.
As I reach the cul-de-sac, I see another house and the address is ANGER. I suddenly feel trapped with a pit in my stomach and all I want to do is scream at the heavens above me. “How could you do this to me?” Strangely enough, I feel a burst of energy and start running up the street, passing BARGAINING and DENIAL. I ask myself, “What is going on here?” I’m sure I look crazy to some.
As I run to the next street over, I see a lake at the end and I am drawn towards it. There’s a house on the corner and the address is DEPRESSION. I suddenly feel waves of sadness come over me and the tears start flowing and flowing. “It’s not easy, I feel so alone…I lost everything.” The loss feels huge and I am exhausted. Then for some reason, I turn around and walk down the same street passing the other houses in no particular order and they each have a strange way of haunting me. I don’t understand why or what is happening but I somehow keep walking.
Years and miles go by up and down these streets, passing house after house, experiencing feeling after feeling. Over time I discovered a new street I was avoiding all along and started walking that way. I see a house that catches my eye and the address is ACCEPTANCE. I finally feel peace and happiness just standing there looking at it. I think to myself how long it took to find it after years of walking, running, feeling, and forgiving.
Take a breath…
This blog is dedicated to anyone and everyone who has lost someone or something in their life. One thing I know for sure is that grieving is different for everyone. The stories of loss might be different, the order and length of grieving stages might be different, but the emotions are the same and that’s how we are all connected. Don’t compare your inside to someone’s outside because you’ll always lose. You will heal when you are ready, you are not on a schedule, but you have to keep going and ask for help. Triggers can still happen but the only way out is through because one minute you’re happy and the next minute you are grieving one or more of the stages.
But in the end, the pain becomes the cure. That I know for sure.
Take another breath…
You’re doing your best ❤
Much Love ❤
Jen
XO
*I would like to give a shout out to one of my good friends and soul sister, Danielle Lewis because on Monday, October 21st, she is releasing her new podcast called “Mom’s Still Standing” You can subscribe to her podcast on iTunes, she has some great guest speakers on it too 😉
I love this song Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves. Have a beautiful weekend everyone ❤
*Copies of “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” are available at all online bookstores worldwide. All my gratitude to YOU ❤
I remember the day you went on a faraway vacation
As usual, you packed your bag last minute
Emotional baggage has always been your carry on, and it’s too heavy
You said you felt lost and needed to find yourself
After boarding the plane, you heard a song
The pain you were running from was now running after you
Affecting your heart, mind, body, and soul
You searched for a hypothetical bandaid to conceal a hypothetical bleeding wound
How inappropriate
After drying your eyes, you closed your eyes
And off to sleep, you went
I felt like a fly on the wall watching you from the outside in
Like a compassionate parent watching a suffering child
After arriving, the final destination was breathtakingly beautiful, just as you had hoped for and imagined
The warm sun made you smile
The beauty all around made you happy
The scents in the air woke your senses
I remember how grateful you were in that exact moment
Change is good
I begged you to please unpack your negative emotions from your heavy carry on
To take a break; you’re on vacation now
Put loneliness on a shelf and sadness in a drawer
Hang all your fears in a different closet and close the door
As they say; out of sight out of mind
Replace these emotions by packing peace, happiness, and love into your life instead
Be open to life’s possibilities and opportunities
Focus on the good and be grateful for everything you have
Time to practice self-compassion and self-care in such gorgeous surroundings
This vacation was exactly what you needed to push the reset button on your life
You deserve all the good things life has to offer, be patient
You realized the further you try to run away from it all
The closer it brought you home to yourself
Isn’t that interesting?
And what a beautiful destination for you to be in right now ❤
Much Love ❤
Jen
XO
****Hello everyone and thank you for reading my blog! This picture was taken in the Himilayas, India 2016 at a retreat I visited when my divorce was finalized. During that trip, I met friends, ate delicious food, listened to mesmerizing music, tried yoga, saw some breathtaking sights, and finally took some time for myself. What an amazing healing experience that was for me.
It isn’t necessary to travel far each time, because even a change of scenery close by can make a world of difference in your mental and emotional health. Travel taught me how to be more self-compassionate, which led me to self-care and eventually to self-love. Writing has also been extremely helpful in my healing process and I feel so much better now.
How do you heal from something difficult?
****Copies of Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak are still available at all online bookstores worldwide. All my gratitude to YOU
In the past, as some of you know, I wrote different letters to myself and recently, after reflecting on how far I’ve come, I think it’s time to write a letter to Pain. Instead of blaming Pain for all the heartache it caused me over time, I’m going to look at Pain from a spiritual point of view and how it changed me into the woman I am today.
One thing I know for sure is that we always have a choice in our lives, for every decision that comes our way which makes us accountable for ourselves. If things are decided for us, then we get to decide how to handle it. What we decide becomes our new life path and leads us to exactly where we need to be in order to learn what we don’t know yet. Even if it’s the second, third or hundredth time around.
Author Caroline Myss says there is no wrong path, we are all on the right path; but here’s the thing, we just might not be managing it very well. We may have taken a detour along the way. Therefore, in knowing we have a choice to get back on track and more aligned with who we really are; the path we are on always leads us home. Back to ourselves and to our purpose.
Dear Pain,
Unfortunately, I know you well. A little too well, actually. I’ve seen you come and go throughout my life, sometimes disguised as pleasure, and I have to say, it is never easy or comfortable when you come to visit me. Most of the time you appear without warning out of nowhere and end up making me feel scared, angry, disappointed, confused, upset, and hurt. Your timing is incredible because it’s always inconvenient with my plans, forcing me to stop what I’m doing or take another detour.
However, these stops and detours have served a purpose while you were here. All because of you, Pain, I found ways to handle you, heal you, and let you go. There is no strength if there is no struggle and if there’s any silver lining to be found within you, Pain, this is it. You’ve given my emotional muscles a real workout.
You see, Pain turned up the volume of the unworthy voices in my head and I believed them. Pain knocked me down, but I fought to live. Pain was my best teacher and worst nightmare all rolled into one. I’ll never forget the lessons learned in the classroom outside the classroom. Pain tried to make me fail but after a while, I passed the tests and received the blessing of insight. Looking back, I see what needed to be learned and why. So many rich meanings and a spiritual awakening occurred.
Pain, I can’t carry you around on my back anymore, you are too heavy and dark for me. Not only do I need light, but I also need to feel light. I finally realize Pain is a reverse role model of what not to do.
Here are some examples of what Pain brought me on the left, and on the right are some things Pain taught me:
Lies = Honesty
Mean = Kindness
Revenge = Walking Away
Selfish = Giving
Stealing = Generosity
Negative = Positive
Self-Righteous = Forgiving
Betrayal = Setting Boundaries
Quiet = Vocal
Closed Minded = Open-Minded
Ignoring Myself = Self-Care
Physical Symptoms = Exercise
Emotional Symptoms = Asking For Help
Holding On = Letting Go
Old Me = New Me
Thanks to you, Pain, I found new hobbies, interests, friends, work, perspective on life, parenting skills, awareness, and a new life. Everything got better. I even taught my kids how to handle you because unfortunately, they have seen you too. Now I have more compassion, empathy, strength, understanding for others dealing with loss, suffering, and divorce.
Thanks again to you, I discovered the power of music, reading, writing, practicing mindfulness, living in the moment, accepting truths, and forgiveness is a gift I give to myself.
Writing is a big part of who I am, it leads me back to myself. It is my life purpose, so much so that I wrote a book about you, Pain, and I still can’t believe it. Don’t get too excited, just because I write about you doesn’t mean I like you. I’m simply trying to understand and decode you for myself and others. Happiness doesn’t come to me, it comes from me. It is a choice and how I perceive life experiences. Writing makes me happy.
You taught me the hard way to put the relationship with myself first, so I don’t put myself second with others. I question what real love is, what do I want, need, from a meaningful relationship. You showed me dealbreakers, pitfalls, narcissism, toxicity, and wove red flags in my face. Now I ask more questions, and I’m careful with who I trust. You’ve sent me difficult/selfish people, heartbreak, loss, tragic events, unfortunate circumstances to handle which taught me many things about myself and life. Because of being cheated and deceived, I’ve become more vigilant and discerning. Respect is a 2-way street, I accept nothing less. You certainly tested my patience and my ability to control my emotions. Now I can see one of the reasons why you showed up was to protect me from other forms of pain.
At the moment, I am practicing gratitude on a daily basis, my heart feels lighter, more peaceful. I’m finished hiding behind you Pain, now I’m more obvious. I found the courage to stand up and live my best life, imperfections and all. What I’ve learned is this: if you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lessons, you will continue to grow. All because of you, Pain, I grew, learned, discovered, and even avoided you. People came and went thanks to you. I also apologize for being just like you at times, a royal pain in the A**!
The new me feels free, empowered, happy with myself, and never gives up. I can walk away from you, but with a grateful heart for all the life lessons. I know I can’t live my life “Pain-free” but the next time you do arrive, I aim to be more prepared.
I never thought I would say this, but thank you Pain for showing up in my life, and for everything you’ve taught and brought me. I’m exactly where I need to be in my life with my work, friends, family, love, and myself. No experience goes unwasted, no mud, no lotus. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be me, right here, right now.
Dare to live courageously…
Much Love ❤
Jen
XO
One of my favorite songs Never Give Up, by Sia is what I listen to while I go for my walks down by the river. I love it, I hope you do too.
**Hello Everyone and Happy September! Copies of Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak are still available at all online bookstores worldwide. All my gratitude to YOU ❤
It’s 4 a.m and the waves of the blue sea are subtly heard crashing against the shoreline
Sleeping is nearly impossible at this hour
Each morning sunrise, colors run into each other
Like my inner strength unexpectedly does to me
Some days are brighter and others seem to fade
Clouds contain feelings and prayers the same way they hold the rain
It’s strange how not being able to let out any feelings and wanting to remove them at the same time can hold me, hostage
All I can do is breathe, let it all go and see what stays
White clouds turn dark and thunder pounds to the beat of my heart
I feel so fragile right now…
Emotions come pouring out with the downpour of rain, washing my fears away
I realize you broke my heart but opened my eyes
I am somehow grateful for all this pain and grief
Suddenly, the sun comes out behind the same clouds that blocked it
It shines a light on everything, including me
Everything makes sense now
I feel the wind, wrapping around my shoulders, and running through my hair
As if a Higher Power brushes all the toxicity away
It’s a new start now, I can’t lose me to keep you
As time goes on, sunsets are a reminder to lay it all down once and for all
Healing is not linear and I believe this to be true
At night, the waves of the blue sea subtly crash against the shoreline again
I look up and ask the moon and stars for yet another miracle
That’s what people do when needing guidance
I realize you are like the moon and stars, loved and out of reach
However, I trust the force that guides them also guides me too
Now it’s time to close my eyes to old ends
And open my heart to new beginnings
From sea to sky…
“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen; a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth” ~ Zoe Skylar
This blog is dedicated to one of my close friends, Caroline Gilbert who is going through a difficult time but she is a strong woman who can get through this. We have all been heartbroken before so you are not alone my friend. One day you will wake up and be in a new place of peace and calm. Where everything feels right. For now, be at peace with where you’ve been and know that you are being guided to something even better. Please have a listen to the song Fragile by Sting and have a great weekend ❤
Living in the past only keeps me stuck. Now I am living in the moment and setting goals for the future so bye-bye past, and all the things that kept me stuck. Thanks for ALL the life lessons. You certainly taught me a lot.
I’m tired of societal views and what everyone thinks; what I should do, say, act, and be. I am who I am, take it or leave it. This is what keeps people small and I am not small.
The peanut gallery never stops chatting in my head so I need to find a mute or delete button. I will no longer let these gremlins control how I think or act because I know I’m a good person who deserves good in return. I will no longer doubt myself in my strengths and capabilities. If I don’t know something, I’ll learn it. The days of self-limiting beliefs are over.
I can honestly say I’ve taken the time and effort to do everything in my human power to heal the pain in my heart and at this point, I did it. I’m open to handing the steering wheel over to my heart now and letting it do the driving for me. I trust you completely, it’s time to be vulnerable again and let love in.
Enough is enough with low self-confidence! I think you know by now you are a brave soul who never gives up so take that with you and use it to increase your self-confidence. You’ve got this.
How do you expect to get anything done if you make excuses or procrastinate about making a decision? Having the ability to choose is a privilege and should be used to improve your life, not take it for granted. Laziness is ok on a Sunday, but not on a regular basis.
Stop playing games of any sort with anyone. The only way to live your life fully is to be genuine and authentic. Fitting in is the opposite of belonging. You don’t need to fit in anywhere because when you are who you are, you find like-minded people and you naturally belong there with them. No need to change who you are. If you want to play a game, learn how to play poker or something.
All my life I have held honesty as one of my truest values in how I am with others and how I expect others to be with me. Being honest with myself is something I have been working on, even more, when it comes to what I want in my new life. At the same time, it’s the best thing that could ever happen to me so I can create something real and beautiful. It’s time to truly stand in my own truth and have zero tolerance for dishonesty.
I continue to live by the saying “Whenever you judge someone else, you reveal an unhealed part of yourself.” How true is that? I will only use judgments as my own compass to lead me back to myself.
Life can be scary but that’s what makes it so exciting! If we live under a rock our whole lives and let fear stop us from actually trying something, we will always be wondering “what if.” I definitely don’t want to be saying that in the end or along the way, so I’m taking chances, despite being scared of what could happen and that’s what being vulnerable and courageous is all about. I will no longer let fear get in my way of living my life. These walls are coming down!
I may not have the best of everything but I am happy and grateful for what I do have. Now that I practice gratitude on a daily basis, my life has changed for the better and I can see improvements. Whining and complaining will only keep people stuck and I’m too busy being on the move. I will never think of myself as unworthy or not enough. I’m done.
It’s time to stop accepting bad behavior and mediocrity as normal. I learned how to set a boundary so it’s time to walk the other way. The last thing I need in my life right now is any toxic relationship after all the work I did for myself. Once again, thanks for the life lessons. I don’t have time for jealousy either, it is poison in any relationship.
Which mask or shield do you wear? I’m not talking Game of Thrones here, I mean what are you hiding behind? Your stories, your excuses? Drop the armor and start connecting with people. Stop playing the victim or rescuer, it’s so disempowering.
It’s your time to be who you truly are and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem. The right people will show up when you show up and you don’t need everyone to like you. Trying your best is always better than doing nothing.
So this is it. I’m getting out of my own way. It’s officially over. I’m breaking up with myself and kicking the old me out and letting peace, love, and happiness in. Hasta la vista baby!
Dare to live courageously…
Love ❤
Jen
XO
**Please take a moment to listen to this beautiful song called You Say By Lauren Daigle. The lyrics go hand in hand with what is written here and the thoughts that go through our mind from time to time. Remember to say good things and believe in yourself. Life is too short and you are too precious. It’s time to let go and break free. Happy Sunday ❤
**Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak is available at online bookstores worldwide. May 2019 is the second anniversary of my book release and I am so grateful. All my love and gratitude ❤
This post goes out to all the people with thirsty hearts and hungry souls…(that includes me)
You’ve heard the saying, “Feed Your Soul,” I know I say it quite a bit myself because sometimes there are days when my soul is so hungry! Hungry for what? Something purposeful, meaningful, and inspirational. Isn’t that what life is all about and why we’re here?
What makes you tick? Lights you up from the inside out? That’s what I’m talking about.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned after my divorce is how to stop the insanity and feed my soul. Things I completely forgot about came back to me, like writing, listening to song lyrics, exercise, and walking beside a body of water. Whenever I’m feeling blue, these are the things that swoop in and heal me in an inspiring way. I also discovered new things like reading Paulo Coelho books that are so incredibly written. He is one heck of a word wizard that’s for sure. In case of an emergency, cookies are always good too, but not too many!
Then there are the tougher days. Starvation sets in and no matter what you do, your soul never seems fed or satisfied. Maybe it’s your job or a relationship that’s keeping you down and confused about your true desires and the search seems endless. This is when creativity comes in very handy or talking it out with a trusted friend. Feed your hungry soul and quench that thirsty heart of yours! Just try to be around people who actually feed your soul and not eat it! That completely defeats the purpose.
And just so you know, anything soul-sucking needs to go immediately.
One of my favorite author’s and life coach, Danielle LaPorte says we should make goals with a soul. In other words, strive for the things we desire that make us feel good. Goals are great but are sometimes too much work if you’re not that interested in them. Is your goal a should or a want? Maybe we’re living our lives backward and inside out because if we put our desire ahead of our goal, it would probably be more achievable since we know it makes us feel good in the end. Follow the pull, not the push.
Other times you have to let go and throw fate into the water and see what happens next. However, sometimes, even water can’t wash away the pain, but when you’re hungry, you’ll do anything to feed it. This can be a good sign because that might prompt you to discover a new hobby, change careers, meet an old friend, pray from the heart, or take a trip somewhere new and exciting. We just want to connect with someone or something that makes us feel good. What makes you happy? When you find out, do that as much as possible.
When your soul is hungry, what is your go-to spiritual diet? What do you crave?
Much Love,
❤
Jen 🙂
P.S: What better time of the year than to curl up with a book and get inspired 😉 “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” is available at all online bookstores worldwide, pick up your copy today!! Have a great weekend everyone ❤
‘Twas many nights before Christmas and all through my head
Several single mom thoughts were stirring, while I lay here in my bed;
The stockings were hung by the tree with care,
In hopes, “Mr. Genuine Guy” soon would be there;
The children were nestled all cozy in their beds,
While visions of Fitbits danced in their heads;
I’m the mamma in my pyjamas, I don’t wear a cap,
I just settled down for a short power nap,
When out on the patio a loud BANG was heard,
I jumped out of bed screaming a four-letter-word!
Away to the window I marched right over,
Flung open the curtains and saw a Range Rover!
The full moon in the sky and the snow on the ground,
Gave the impression that Christmas was somewhere around,
When what do my wondering, tired eyes should appear,
But a group of my friends, with nothing but cheers,
One of the ringleaders, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that funny chick.
More rapid than hummingbirds, they all flocked around,
And we gave big gratitude hugs for the friendships we found;
Let’s be honest, life can be tough as a single parent,
When finding your path and dating if you dare it.
But support systems are the best when we feel at our worst,
Christmas helps our hearts fill with love, then let it happily burst;
We are all in this world together, you are never alone,
Love yourself and your kids right down to your bones;
Finding a mate will happen on its own,
There’s no need to settle, you’ve already flown ❤
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
All My Love and Gratitude ❤
Jen
XO
**If you or someone you know is going through a separation or divorce during this Christmas season, please know I understand that pain all too well. The thing that got me through it all was writing down how I felt and then turning it into something positive which is how my book “Winning While Losing: The Upside of Heartbreak” was born. It’s about how I coped by finding light in the dark. Please know you are not alone and consider reading my book by heading over to any online bookstore worldwide or the FriesenPress online bookstore.
Dare To Live Courageously... 