Happy First Birthday WWL!

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Happy 1st Birthday to Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak!!!

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Well, here we are, exactly one year later after my book release and I am SO amazed at the positive response!!  Each day teaches me the power of words, the power of positivity, the power of friends and family, the power of love and courage, the power of resilience and determination, the power of empowerment, the power of moving forward; even if you are crawling you are still moving.  The power of taking action, the power of reframing your situation so that it serves you, the power of self-awareness, self-care, self-respect, self-love, self-compassion, and ultimately, the power of forgiveness which is the toughest lesson of all, but I am living proof it can begin with the right attitude.

Judging others, blaming or being a victim is the easy way out and keeps you stuck. Taking responsibility for your own life is why we are all here and sets you free.  It’s been a process of lessons learned and to this day I am learning even more while making mistakes but this means I am evolving as a person and I am extremely grateful for the amazing friends I have.  My kids have seen me through thick and thin and I could have never done this without you guys, I love you from the bottom of my heart ❤  All my gratitude to you both!!

Today is giveaway day and I’ll be contacting 2 lucky winners with love and gratitude ❤ Thank you to everyone for all your huge support, and never forget…

~ Dare to live courageously…

Love Always ❤

Jen
XO

** Copies are available for purchase at all online bookstores worldwide and at the FriesenPress Bookstore.  Thank you 🙂

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Hell’s Bureaucracy

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Welcome to Hell, everyone, let’s have some fun!  Today we are going in by the back door and listing all the possible ways to build an even worse Hell!  What could be better than renovating that disgusting place and creating more torture?  So pull up a wobbly chair with no cushion, have a warm beer with cold soup and here we go!

In order to identify values, sometimes we need to think backward.  What does that mean exactly?

If you don’t know what your values are, all it takes is a violation and you will instantly feel what is right or wrong in your books.

Values are who we are at our core; right now, not who we wish we were.  Values are what is important to us, they are the “why” to everything and drive our behavior.  For example, some values might be, respect, considerate, honest, hardworking, loving, etc.  They are one-word answers to who we are and how we live our lives.  You can always add more values to your life with different experiences but they don’t change because they’re innate.  Beliefs are the changers and the self-limiters but that’s not why we are here, let’s not go there.

Let’s get back to Hell…

All relationships are based on values whether it’s at work, with friends, family, love or yourself.  Values define why that particular relationship is important to us and if they hold the same values we do.

If you aren’t sure what your values are then you will have a great time in Hell because this is where the clash happens and all the possibilities are negative, not to mention torturous!  So let’s make a list of what Hell might look like in a relationship or at work:

Disrespect, discourage, dishonesty, ignored, stealing, lying, humiliation, harassment; just to name a few.  How do you like living in Hell so far?  Do any of these words rub you the wrong way?  If that’s a yes, keep on reading little devil…

Try answering these questions; “What are some of the best forms of self-torture?” Or, “In the ideal Hell, people would never….”  Or even, “In the ideal Hell, people would always try to…”

Feeling hot yet?  How’s that warm beer?  Are the flames getting a little too close for comfort down there?  Good!  Let’s flip this Hell right now.

Disrespect becomes respect, discourage becomes empower, dishonesty becomes honesty, ignored becomes appreciated, stealing becomes sharing, lying becomes trust, humiliation becomes pride, harassment becomes justice.  Starting to feel better, more like home?  I would hope these bold words resonate more with you than the Hell words do.  Would these words be important in your relationships or at work?  Why?  Once you answer the “why” then you have defined your values.  I’m sure you have more words in there… keep making your list!

What title would you give to your new world now that you’ve flipped it on its head?  You get to decide.

Now flip those three questions around in a positive way and answer them with your new title; “What are some of the best forms of self-care?” Or, “In the ideal (title) people would never…” Or even, “In the ideal (title), people would always try to…”

Sometimes going in from the back door isn’t a bad thing after all.  To know what we want, we need to define what we don’t want and to know who we are, we need to know who we are not.  What we can tolerate.  Plain and simple.

Thanks for playing Hell’s Bureaucracy, I hope you had fun and it helped.  A cold beer would be nice right about now 😉

 

Much Love ❤

Jen 🙂

 

**Believe it or not, this is a life coaching tool to help people identify their values so they can improve their relationships in their personal and/or professional lives.  It works well, I’ve even used it on myself!  If you are interested in having a life coaching session with me, please send me an email at jgreen7984@gmail.com

 

**If you are new to my blog or a treasured reader/follower, please be sure to check out my book “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak” by Jennifer Green.  Available at all online bookstores worldwide or FriesenPress online bookstore.

~ Dare to live courageously…

 

Free Giveaway: Happy 1st Anniversary!

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It’s been a wonderful year of making great memories with friends, family and my book, “Winning While Losing:  The Upside of Heartbreak.”  Never in a million years did I ever think I would write a book but because of a loss, I decided to make something positive out of something difficult.

On Tuesday, May 29th, 2018, it will be the first anniversary of my first book release and to show all my gratitude, I wanted to do something special to mark the occasion with all of you.  Therefore, I will be holding a free giveaway and there will be two (2) winners.  For those living in Canada, one winner will receive a personally signed paperback copy and for those living anywhere outside of Canada, the winner will receive a pdf version along with a personalized note from me 🙂

Anyone can enter to win between now and midnight EST Monday, May 28th, 2018.  The winners will be selected and contacted on Tuesday, May 29th, 2018.  Thank you in advance to everyone who participates!  It’s going to be fun, you don’t want to miss out!

Rules for the giveaway, you can choose one or more options:

  1. Follow my blog, like, and comment in the comment box
  2. Follow my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram page; like, tweet and/or comment on the post
  3. You will need to provide your email and/or mailing details in a private message if you win
  4. If you write a book review, that counts as two submissions and I’ll post it on my website
  5. Have fun and good luck everyone!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone again from the depth of my heart and soul for all your love and support on this discovery journey I have been on for the last three and a half years.  If you or someone you know is going through the searing pain of separation or divorce, maybe this book could be helpful and show you are not alone ❤

Dare to live courageously…

Much Love ❤

Jen
*As always, copies are available for purchase through FriesenPress or any online bookstore worldwide.

Finding Joy

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How do you find joy in your everyday life?  What are you passionate about or what lights you up from the inside out?

For me, joy is the result of practicing daily gratitude because when you focus on what you have, it changes your perspective and creates joy from within.  Joy is what gets you through difficult times, it turns on a light when you’re in the dark, it heals wounds and can make your soul sing.  Joy is contagious and can spread like wildfire if you allow it, we’re all connected so it’s better to spread positive vibes and emotions that lead us in the right direction.

In today’s busy world, stress and anxiety are topping the charts of workplace absence and prescription medications.  It’s not overly surprising because the faster the world turns, the faster we run and when we’re running, we’re not paying attention to what’s around us.  It’s only when we slow down to catch our breath and notice the little things in the moment; that’s when we are able to find our joy.

Here are a few ways you can begin the search for joy in your everyday life.

  1. Play with children. They are innocent creatures who love to laugh and goof around
  2. Let your inner child out too. Just like the picture above, we all have that little girl or boy inside of us, waiting to get out again so get silly and let loose
  3. Learn something new such as a language, recipe, or sport
  4. Explore nature. It is the most beautiful and imperfect thing on earth
  5. Travel somewhere new and exciting. Do this solo or with someone you like
  6. Surround yourself with animals. They have the most unconditional love to share with you
  7. Be romantic. This allows you to use your creativity and can find joy in two places at once
  8. Spread random acts of kindness to strangers. The appreciation they feel will come back to you tenfold
  9. Play a musical instrument or put some music on. This is soul food and can be very healing
  10. Sing a song no matter what your voice sounds like. Remember that inner child?
  11. Read a great book or see a movie you’ve been waiting for
  12. Helping others creates huge amounts of joy from within
  13. Wake up those endorphins in your body because they will definitely make you feel better
  14. Meditate or practice mindfulness. Enjoy the silence for a change
  15. Write something, anything. Keep it private or make it public it’s your choice but keep it positive and inspiring
  16. Dance in the rain and get soaked. If this doesn’t make you feel like a kid, I don’t know what will
  17. Be like a cat and take a nap. Time to feel rejuvenated again
  18. Watch a sunrise or sunset. Not only is it live entertainment, it’s free and it’s beautiful
  19. Take a hot bath or get a massage
  20. Eat your favorite desserts like cupcakes or something with chocolate
  21. Spend quality time with friends and laugh so much it hurts

Sometimes the best way to find joy is to surrender to what is.  By surrendering, you are opening your heart and mind to the infinite possibilities of what life can offer you.  It’s not about giving up, it’s about letting go, and the benefit to letting go is finding joy.

 

Much Love ❤

Jen

 

Transformation Is A Beautiful Thing

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Inspiration can be found in many corners of our life and in the lives of others.  Life is in motion at all times and if we stop and pay attention, that’s when we notice inspiring moments, people, places, and things.  Personally, one of the greatest things I love to see is how someone can transform themselves from being in a negative state to becoming their own superhero.  It’s not about winning a popularity contest but about being the best version of yourself after struggling with something so difficult for so long and coming out of it beautifully.

When I think about transformation, I think of metaphors because what metaphors can do is open our mind to a new perspective and deeper understanding of the potential transformation.  It’s like a window or a doorway we can move through and find ways to relate it to our situation.

‘Meta’ means over and beyond and in transformation, it is over and beyond reality.  My favorite metaphor of all is the caterpillar becoming a butterfly through the power of metamorphosis because one step over and beyond the caterpillar, the butterfly emerges.  In life when we try to step beyond a belief, behavior, fear or circumstance, a metaphor can transform a person ‘s perspective and trigger their values which allow them to step into joy in their life.

For example, a person who has a fear of public speaking may be struggling inside this cocoon for some time but wants to overcome it through transformation.  Just the mere thought of having to get up and speak to a few or many people can start the heart palpitations and make someone freeze right in their tracks because of stage fright.  This person’s main goal is to avoid public speaking and social events at all costs, mainly because they are shy.  The struggle is within their own mind and trying to silence the  negative voice.

I was speaking with a friend recently and he said not only can shyness get in the way but add a language barrier on top of everything and you’ve got yourself a fearful scenario.  I can only imagine how hard and uncomfortable that must feel to be around people you can’t connect with.  He gave an example where his workplace required them to do impromptu group speeches in front of everyone and his first instinct was to run and hide but since he wanted to transform his fear into something more comfortable, he remembered the first lesson from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey.

Be Proactive.

In this lesson, Covey talks about taking responsibility for your own life and stresses the importance of focusing your time and energy on the things you have control over in life.  In a matter of minutes, my friend took this lesson and applied it to his own life right before facing one of the most fearful things; public speaking.  He changed his self-talk from negative to positive saying “Don’t freeze, focus on the audience instead of your own awkwardness, think of how you would want to see a speaker, put yourself in the shoes of the audience and see yourself from their perspective so you can transform your fear into something you love.  Imagine yourself being courageous even if you think you aren’t.  Be yourself, no stress or pressure, you are surrounded by friends.  Learn to laugh at yourself, life is too serious, be imperfect so people can connect, enjoy yourself and live outside your comfort zone.”

He stood up and managed to convince himself of everything he said and faced his fear by talking about his imperfections by making jokes with the audience.  People were laughing with him, and it gave a soaring boost to his self-confidence which made him continue even more.  He felt both shocked and happy with himself that day because it was a life changing moment, a real transformation where he struggled so long with negative self-talk but in the end after all that hard work, he emerged beautifully like a butterfly.  What a perfect example of going over and beyond his reality and honoring the value of courage.

More times than not, we struggle in our minds and hearts about who we are and about how we want other people to see us. We wrestle with worthiness and shame all at the same time when really we all belong together and we are more similar than we are different.

When I asked him how he felt about that day he said “It changed my outlook towards socializing, facing fears, being vulnerable, handling pressure situations and making friends in general.  And every victory I have had since that day, I attribute to this one act of mine where I overcame myself.  And, needless to say, making friends has been not as difficult as I feared since that day.  I survived.”

Bravo my friend for daring to live courageously, keep rockin’ the shark fin 😉

Transformation is a beautiful thing.

“How does one become a butterfly?  You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”  ~Trina Paulus

 

Much Love ❤
Jen

What Worked Well (A to Z Challenge)

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Remember the time when you were sitting in front of a teacher or in your boss’ office waiting to get feedback on something you did?  Those clammy hands, heart palpitations, nerves of steel?  Maybe not nerves of steel because when someone of authority gives you feedback, you hang on their every word.  And if those words are being executed in a negative fashion, you not only hear bad things but you feel them too.  So how do we give good feedback that’s motivating?

What Worked Well.

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Not the World Wide Web 😉

Let’s imagine you just finished a project that took months to assemble and now the feedback is ready to come in and you’re ready too.  Your boss says “I liked what you did overall, this is what worked well…” WWW.  These words of praise are easy and lovely to listen to and make us feel motivated to do even more with a smile across our face.  All the positives are listed here, so far so good.  Notice that emotions are not involved in good feedback it’s about what worked well.

Here comes the cruncher.  Thoughts like what did I do wrong start racing through your head.  Those gremlins are chatting up a storm in there saying you aren’t good enough.  The boss says “But here’s what I didn’t like about your work.”  Or “This part was all wrong, you didn’t do ABC.” Ouch, sounds harsh right?  This is a perfect example of a failure frame because it describes what’s wrong, the mistakes, faults, limitations and blame.  If emotions like jealousy are laced throughout then it becomes a venting session which pretty much ends the conversation.  This does nothing but de-motivate someone even if what is being said is true because it becomes personal instead of about feedback.  So how do we end the madness?

Enter EBI.  Even Better If….

It is possible to give positive feedback in a supportive way by saying things like “I notice the way you do your work and it would be even better if….”  Or “This part would have been even better if you did XYZ….”

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The feedback focuses on an outcome, a learning opportunity and how things happened.  By changing the words around this constructive criticism becomes motivating and the person doesn’t feel like a failure as in the previous example.

It’s all in the delivery of what worked well and even better if.

 

Much Love ❤

Jen
xo

Light A Candle Instead Of Cursing The Darkness

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We are all victims of circumstance but we have a choice of remaining in victim mode or stepping out of it and living our life.  Sometimes we can see trouble coming and other times it catches us right off guard sending us into a downward spiral but either way, we need to decide if we want to be happy or not.  Initially, it’s natural to feel great disappointment, hurt and grief but it’s not healthy to live there permanently.

Things happen, I’ve seen trouble coming and it has also knocked me off my feet, leaving my head swirling and my heart broken.  However, I cannot and will not let that define me.  When I read this quote, it was like I heard music and corks popping out of champagne bottles!

 To me, darkness represents being deeply disappointed, the hard times, handling tough emotions, the struggle, the pain and even change.  Everyone defines it differently depending on what they’re going through.  When you think about it, if you try to navigate through the dark without any light, it’s very difficult to see where you’re going or what is right in front of you.  You might bump into things, trip over something or even worse, stub your toe which only causes more pain.  The other thing about darkness is that it seems to hide us well.  Maybe people like the dark for that reason alone.  They don’t want any help so they don’t want to be seen.  The question comes when that same person endlessly criticizes or complains about their situation but doesn’t do anything to make it better; cursing the darkness.  Or maybe they just want to be found by someone, be seen, heard and understood.   After all, we all crave connection.

The simple act of shedding some light on the subject can change the entire space where darkness lives.  You can see what and who is around you, what is ahead of you and that feeling of being on edge is less.  It’s a more comforting, positive response, a new perspective.  Igniting a spark inside you is an action step in moving forward because you are no longer thinking about making it better or wishing for it, you are making the effort and doing it.  Lighting a candle could mean reading positive daily affirmations, finding activities that bring you joy and doing them as much as possible, practicing gratitude even in the dark moment, trying to find the hidden life lesson inside your situation or reaching out to your support system to help you and accepting their help.  It can also mean stop denying and start feeling the pain because the only way out of it is through it.  When you decide to do this, your mind shifts from controlling to allowing and your body shifts from stress to peace.  It doesn’t magically disappear but it certainly becomes more manageable.  Having an open mind and an open heart changes a negative into a positive with an intention to do so.  Darkness is a wonderful teacher that helps us grow through personal development because without darkness there can’t be light.

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All of our life’s tragedies big or small have their time and space for darkness.  Just keep in mind that at some point, you will need to turn on a light to be able to see clearly instead of wishing it wasn’t so dark.  It’s time to live in the joy zone.

Much love,

Jennifer Juneau

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Positive Ripple Effect

ripple_effect2   Hello to all my friends and followers!  I hope you are enjoying your summer and making time for friends, family and the things you love.

I decided to share a few of my favourite quotes and sayings I came across in the last little while that help inspire me and carry on.  I have to admit, I am a big lover of quotes and sayings because of the impact they have on opening the mind to a fresh, new perspective with greater meaning and they only contain a few words in a phrase or two.  It just goes to show that even a little stone thrown into the water can create a ripple effect extending out to others.  Therefore it is highly important to keep your words and actions positive because they not only affect one person but everyone around them.  Sometimes a good quote is just what you need to stitch the tears in your heart back together again.  See which ones speak to you…

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”  ~ Eckhart Tolle

“Everything is just as it needs to be.  And if we would forgive, our minds and hearts would open and we could see another possibility.”  ~ Iyanla Vanzant

“Make peace your ultimate goal when you want something.  If you get what you want, that’s great.  If you don’t get what you want, you are still peaceful.  This will prevent emotional self-destruction.”  ~ Marianne Williamson

“The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.”  ~ Gary Zukav

“The root of suffering is attachment.”  ~ Buddha

“To be successful means you have to live your own dream, not somebody else’s dream.”  ~ Arianna Huffington

“The art of being helpful is behaving as if everything we do matters-because we never know which things might.”  ~ Gloria Steinham

“People are like stained glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”  ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“When you awaken love and laughter in your life, your mind let’s go of fear and anxiety and your happy spirit becomes the healing balm that transforms every aspect of your human experience.”  ~ Jesse Dylan

“One of the essential tasks for living a wise life is letting go.  Letting go is the path to freedom.  It is only by letting go of the hopes, the fears, the pain, the past, the stories that have a hold on us that we can quiet our mind and open our heart.”  ~ Jack Kornfield

“Look for the answer inside your question.”  ~ Rumi

“When you hold on to your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny.”  ~ Bishop T.D. Jakes

“There is also something deeply lovely about uncertainty:  the possibility of optimism.”  ~ Joan Wickersham

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.  Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviour.  Keep your behaviour positive because your behaviour becomes your habits.  Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.  Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  ~ Maya Angelou

I hope one of these great quotes creates a positive ripple effect in your life so that you can pass it on to someone else.  Always move forward.   See you in August!

~ Jennifer Juneau

ADOPTING AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

100_2346 (3)  October is upon us and in Canada, Thanksgiving is just around the corner which means the maple leaves are changing colour and putting on an amazing show!  The weather is surprisingly warm right now and dare I say it, we haven’t seen rain for days.  People seem happier when it’s warm and sunny outside.  We have so much to be grateful for here!  Since Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful, what a great opportunity to write about gratitude.

Adopting an attitude of gratitude is a wonderful way to immediately increase your level of happiness.  It’s something we can all do to lift our spirits instead of depending on other people or things to do it for us.  It’s not easy being grateful all the time, but I’ve come to realize that when you feel least thankful, that is when gratitude can give you the best gift which is perspective.  When you learn to say thank you, you have the ability to see the world in a whole new light.  It doesn’t have to be big, it can even be the man who served you coffee at your favourite coffee shop gave you a free cookie or maybe it was a sunny day and you were able to enjoy some of it outside.  Even on the days when it has clearly been a bad day, being grateful for one thing like the fact you were able to eat or that you are alive, counts just as much as the rest.  It’s easy to be grateful for the big stuff that happens once in a while, but every single day is giving us something to pay attention to and that is what I am writing about today.  If you look hard enough or reflect on your day to find something that you can be grateful for, your attitude will improve and you will feel less stressed.  One way to keep track of this is by keeping a gratitude journal.  Just knowing that you have something positive to write about in your journal allows you to look at your day differently, maybe with more forgiveness and patience. This way on each day, you can write down whatever you feel grateful for, it doesn’t have to be long, just make the day count for something good that crossed your path.  The beauty of this is that it creates a history of all the real life events that happened in your own life.  If you are ever feeling down or blue, your journal is an instant pick me up because it is a reminder of all the positive things that are out there and they are yours to re live. If more people could re frame their lives in the positive, imagine what a satisfied society we would all be living in?  This doesn’t mean put on your rose coloured glasses and step outside, it simply means slow down, look closely and pay attention to all the good that’s around us because it’s there.  It’s like Maya Angelou says, “even the caged bird sings” and you can too.  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!     -JJ